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Recently I overheard a new parishioner ask where the “Crying Room” was located. The setting was just after Sunday Mass. It had been a rather “animated” atmosphere, with many of our littlest “angels” testing out the room for sound-proofing. The room failed the test.

What the new parishioner did not know was that we did have a Crying Room once, but the privilege was seriously abused. (It is interesting that many adults and teens were making their way into the Crying Room – so much so that it almost became impossible for mothers to find a place to take their little angels when that became a necessity. Additionally, mothers with babies would head for the Crying Room even when it was not necessary, thus preventing someone with a real need from using the Room.) When the time came to remodel the Church, and produce the worship setting you now have, the former pastor made a decision to remove the Crying Room entirely. His philosophy was simple: babies belong with their families, and families belong in the Assembly with everyone else. That is how our children learn to worship appropriately, by participating in the very atmosphere that promotes it and witnessing how other people/children behave. That is also why it is important that parents of unusually disruptive children remove the distraction. The added benefit is that the other children in the Assembly will learn that is not acceptable behavior in church. It allows everyone to feel part of something bigger (i.e., the worshipping community).

When babies begin to scream, and the parents are not sensitive enough to take the child immediately into the Narthex or other area to calm the child, then the “boundaries” of common sense and respect for others have been breached. The Liturgy becomes disrupted at that point, and the atmosphere of worship has disappeared.

All of us truly can and do feel compassion for a mother who has to deal tenderly with a baby that has an unrecognized need, or who refuses to be consoled, and reacts accordingly – usually at the top of their lungs. We can admire the lung power, and mark the child as one who would make a good choir member in the future. But at that moment the needs of the Assembly must be respected.

The rule of thumb is simple: when a child goes beyond the whimper stage, he or she needs to be taken temporarily to another location and attended to. After the child has calmed down, it is appropriate to return and rejoin the Assembly. Fellow parishioners will be very grateful to you for this courteous and logical course of action.

Deacon Paul Rooney
Mary Our Queen Parish, Omaha

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