All Mixed
Up By Heather
Martin Rating- PG13 Summary- Buffy
is getting married and everyone knows it is a mistake. Disclaimer-
Joss Whedon owns BTVS Spoilers-
After Pairings- Come
on, you can guess who the main couple is. If not, you don’t know me at all.
Other pairings are W/K (I don’t totally hate them, just don‘t jump up and down
for them) and X/ surprise Part- 1/1 Angel was in
his office when he found out. He scanned over his most recent case, trying to
decide the best course of action. The harmless rays of the sun filtered through
the window, bathing him in illumination. He was content. The only thing he
needed was his morning coffee. Where was Harmony? The vampire
reached over and pressed a button. “Harmony, where is my coffee?” “Coming,” came a feminine reply. A moment later
the door opened to admit a smiling blonde. She wore a flowered skirt and pink
top. She carried a steaming mug, which she sat down in front of Angel. Then she
added an envelope to the desk. “Sorry.” Angel grabbed
his coffee. “That’s all right. You don’t have to be right on the dot all the
time.” “Not that,”
Harmony clarified. “Your mail.” He spotted the
envelope. He examined it, seeing no return address. “It got buried
under some papers. Ooops.” She let out a small giggle. “I hope it isn’t important.” With that,
Harmony quickly fled the room. Angel stared
at the marks displayed on the white packet. He’d recognize that handwriting
anywhere. Involuntarily, he took in a breath. With fumbling hands, he tore it
open. He took out
the card. After seeing what it had to offer he dropped it. He gazed blankly
across the room. Two hours
later, Angel was still in the same position. He had reread the card at least a
dozen times, but it always said the same thing. It couldn’t be. It just simply
was impossible. Just then Gunn
came walking into the room. “Hey man,” he greeted. The
dark-skinned man plopped down in a chair that faced his friend. He slumped
down, making himself comfortable. “Geez, Angel, you look awful,” Gunn commented. “Did you get
any sleep in the last twenty-four hours.” Angel didn’t
speak. Instead he passed the card over. Gunn looked
the card over. “Wow,” he said. “An invitation to Buffy Summers’ and . . .“ Angel wouldn’t
let him get any further. “Don’t say it!” Gunn put the
card down. “That’s harsh. I’m sorry.” “It isn’t that
she is getting married,” Angel confessed. “I want her to be happy. She deserves
to have children and a normal life. I could never give her that. But. . . I can’t let her be with ‘him’.” “Is he an
archenemy or something? Did he try to stake you once?” “Actually yes. But that isn’t why.” Confused, Gunn
rose an eyebrow. “Then what is the reason, bro?” “She doesn’t
love him,” Angel simply stated. ************************ Kennedy sat on
the bed, watching her girlfriend get dressed. She would have been enjoying the
show if her mind wasn’t so occupied. “Will . . .?”
Kennedy began. The
dark-haired woman sighed. “If I say something you promise you won’t get mad?” “I mean, I
don’t want to upset you. But . . .” Her voice was full of uncertainty. The witch came
over, settling herself down beside the other female. She took Kennedy’s hands
in her own. “You can tell
me anything.” “I think Buffy
is making a terrible mistake.” There, she’d
said it. Kennedy closed
her eyes. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t keep it in any longer.” There was a
span of silence. “Please don’t
be angry. I don’t . . .” “I know,” “Huh?” “I know,” ************************* Spike was
napping on a Wolfram and Hart employee’s couch. Or at least he was ‘trying’ to.
The sunlight was right in his eyes. He wished he knew which button to push in
order to block it out. God, he missed
the crypt. That was how a vampire should live. Dark, musty,
and cold. All of a
sudden the door burst open. Spike abruptly sat up. “Bloody hell,
can’t a vamp get any shut-eye in this place!?” he complained. Angel stood
there, looking at his grandchilde darkly. Which wasn’t unlike any other time he looked at him. “I’ve been
searching for you all over, Spike,” Angel told him. Spike’s blue
eyes widened. “Really?” He smirked. “And why would the
all high and mighty be huntin
for lil ol me for?” “Cut the shit,
Spike.” He shoved something at him. “Read that.” “And why
should I?” “It’s from
Buffy.” Time stood
still. Spike’s nose flared. He shut his eyes, struggling to compose himself.
Finally, he opened his eyes again, clenching his jaw. Spike handed
the card back over. “I’m not interested. You can have it back.” The
bleached-blonde lay back down on the cushions. He placed his arms under his
head. Angel hovered
over him. “You ‘really’ need to read this.” “I’m through
with the slayer,” Spike told him. “Her business is none of mine.” “She’s getting
married, Spike.” Seconds turned
into minutes. Neither spoke or moved. After who knows how long, Spike shifted,
turning his back on Angel. “Spike?” “Leave me
alone,” Spike growled. “Spike, we
need to stop her.” “No we don’t, peaches.” “Spike . . .”
Angel reached out and took his shoulder. He was about to roll Spike over when
the blonde pushed him away. He hadn’t expected that, and went staggering into a
chair. “Leave well
enough alone! She’s better off without us mucking up her life,” Spike informed.
“No, Spike,
she really isn’t. She’s making a terrible decision.” “And it is her
decision to make.” Spike rested
his head against the arm of the couch. He closed his eyes, begging for slumber
to come. “You don’t
even want to know who the lucky guy is?” “No,” Spike
replied. “Fine! You can stay here and do nothing. But I have to go after her.” Angel threw
the card at Spike. It hit the vampire and then fell to the blue carpet. Angel stormed
out of the room. A few minutes
went by. Maybe ten. The card taunted
Spike. He suddenly got up and grabbed the damned thing. He crumpled it up, and
then tossed it into the trash. *********************** Buffy sorted
through her make-up. She should have done this sooner, but she had been
worrying about other things. Everything about the wedding had been done
haphazardly. She didn’t care how it was done as long as it was done. Which was wrong. She knew that. But what other choice did she
have? There was a
tap on the door. “Yeah?” Buffy called. “It’s me. May
I come in?” “Of course.” The door
opened. Giles stepped in. He gave her a small smile. “Hey,” Buffy
greeted. “Hello.” They didn’t
say anything more for a while. Buffy held up
a lipstick. “Passion pink or harlot red?” She let out
a humorless laugh. “Oh god, neither seem right.” Giles took his
glasses off. He went on to clean the lenses. “Buffy . . .” “Don’t!” Buffy
warned. “Just don’t! I’ve already heard it from Dawn. And even The middle-aged
man put his frames back on. He peered at his sergeant daughter with concern. “Buffy, I
think you are making a grave mistake.” She turned
away. She fingered her collection of eye-shadow. “There are
other options.” That did it.
The dam broke. Buffy began to sob uncontrollably. She put her face in her
hands, her entire body shaking. Giles rushed
over to her. He encased the young woman in his arms. “Oh, Buffy,”
he whispered. “There aren’t
any other options. I have to do this. I can’t go through this alone. I need
somebody,” the slayer choked out. “You are not
alone. We are all here for you. You don’t have to go through with this. It is
rash and . . .” Buffy pulled
away. She dried her eyes. She sat up tall and confident. “It’s my
decision.” She held up the
eye-shadows. “Blue or silver?” “How about green?” Giles suggested in defeat. Buffy forced a
grin. “Green it is.” ************************* Spike paced
the room. Every time he passed the trashcan he’d glance at it and then turned
away. He was
breathing hard. If his heart beat it would have broke his chest. His hands
formed fists. Oh great, why did he have to think that? It brought up memories.
He buried the sodding love-sick tune away. Angel hadn’t
shut the door on his way out. So when Fred came down the hall she spotted
Spike. The cute
scientist stepped into the office. “Oh, Spike, hi.” Spike stopped.
He ran a hand through his slicked-back locks. “How ya doin, pet?” he inquired. “Not bad,” she
answered. She held up a file. “Where’s Angel? I have the results from that
demon blood we discovered last week.” “ “What?” Fred
was totally confused. “Tall dark and
broody’s run off.” “Why?” She couldn’t
comprehend why Angel would leave without informing any of them. It wasn’t like
him. “He’s going to
find his one true love.” Shock came
over Fred. “Buffy?” “A prize for the scientist. Yeah, Buffy is apparently getting
married.” Fred studied
the vampire. “Spike, I’m sorry. This must be awful for you.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” He reached into his duster and took out a
box of cigarettes. He lit one, popping it into his mouth. He didn’t smoke much
anymore, but times like these, his dead body hummed for nicotine. “What do you
mean it doesn’t matter?” she asked incredulously. “Buffy isn’t a
part of my life anymore. I’ve moved on.” Fred met his
eyes. “Have you?” “What is that
supposed to mean!?” She shook her
head. “Nothing.” They just
stood there for a long time. Eventually, Fred cleared her throat. “I just want
to say something before I leave. And if you say no, then I agree. You’ve really
moved on.” Spike let out
a puff of smoke. He took care in keeping it away from his friend. “Have at it,”
Spike said. “What if Angel
makes it there in time? What if he pours his heart out to Buffy? He sweeps her
off her feet, declaring his undying love. And Buffy goes for it. She falls into
his arms and dumps whoever she is planning on marrying.” She challenged him
with her gaze. “Would you remain unaffected? Could you stand back and let that
happen?” Spike didn’t
reply. “That’s all
I’m going to say. See you later, Spike.” She headed for the door. Before going
out she stopped to add, “Maybe.” It didn’t take
long for Spike to move. He took his cigarette and crushed it out on the top of
the desk. Then she fished his hand into the trashcan. The wrinkled card met his
searching fingers, and he clamped them around it. He took it
out, smoothing out the creases. There were two wedding bells on the front. The
words You are Invited jumped out at him in gold
letters. He opened the card and read what was inside. Buffy Summers and Xander Harris wish for
you to attend That was as
far as he got. He stuffed the retched invitation into the pocket of his coat.
He rushed out of the office as fast as his vampiric
ability would allow. ************************ She stepped
back, letting her best friend get a good look at himself.
He eyed himself in the mirror, having to admit he looked good. Okay, he could
stand to lose a couple pounds, but he wasn’t bad. The white suit fit perfectly,
and his freshly-trimmed hair was combed around his face just right. Xander smiled. Why, who is that handsome man staring back at me? “You look good,”
“Thanks, Will. So do you.” The red-head
was wearing blue. It looked a whole lot better than Anya’s
green-ruffled dresses. “Xander?” “Yeah?” “Do you know
what you are doing?” He took in a
deep breath. “Yeah, Willow. I know what I’m doing.” “Do you- Do
you love her?” He spun to
face her. “Of course.” “Ok, let me
rephrase that. Are you in love with her?” Xander’s face paled. “You want the truth?” She used her
resolve face. “Yes, mister, I want the truth. No lying allowed between best
friends.” He lowered his
good eye. “Yeah,” he
admitted. “I’m in love with her.” That hadn’t
been the answer “But she
doesn’t feel the same way.” He paused. “And that’s ok.” “No, Xander,” Xander stared at the mirror again. “Sometimes it isn’t, Will.” ************************* Dawn finished
pinning up Buffy’s hair. It was beautiful. A few tendrils hung free, molding
around her sister’s face. “You’re
gorgeous,” Dawn remarked. “I don’t look
fat?” Buffy asked. Dawn wanted to
laugh at her absurdity. “You will ’never’ be fat, Buffy.” Buffy shifted
from side-to-side with scrutiny. “You sure?” “Yes, Buffy,”
Dawn said in exasperation. “Are you sure
about this? You can still back out.” Buffy turned
around. She hugged her younger sibling. “It’s okay, Dawnie. Everything is okay.” Dawn knew she
was lying. Buffy lied a lot. Especially
to herself. “Why are you
doing this? Buffy, why?” A couple
months ago Xander had woken up from a dream. A good dream.
And bad dream. It depended on your perspective. It had been so
long since he had seen her face. So full of energy and
spirit. He loved that face. He loved that girl. Tears ran down
his face. He didn’t bother to wipe them away. He stared up
at the ceiling. And he talked to her. He did that often. It wasn’t that he was
crazy or anything. He knew she wasn’t there. But he felt close to her when he
did. A knock
entered his ears. He cleared his face, but he was sure that whoever it was
would be able to see redness in his eyes. Oh well. He didn’t give a damn. He made his
way to the door and swung it open. He came face-to-face with a broken slayer.
She fell into his arms and cried. He held her
close, bringing her inside and shutting the door. He had thought he had
collapsed from grief. It was nothing compared to what Buffy was going through. “Buffy, what’s
wrong?” He already
knew. Spike. It had to be about Spike. Or so he
thought. “Just hold
me,” she pleaded. And he did. And then she
kissed him. Not a friend-kiss. Not even the hello-kiss she’d given Angel. This
was a kiss full of passion and fire. A kiss she had given Spike when they were
banging each other’s brains out. This kiss was about forgetting and feeling
something besides the pain. They broke
apart, both of them panting. “Touch me, Xander,” she commanded. She took his
hand and placed it on her breast. “Touch me all
over.” And he did. *********************** “Why?” Dawn
reiterated. “Because I need someone. I need someone to help me be strong,” Buffy
confessed. The two girls
hugged. ********************** Spike ran
every stop-sign. He broke every speed limit. He even out ran a couple police
cars. Or decided to get back with the poof. *********************** Angel made it
there first. He hadn’t broken every law imaginable, but he had set out a good
while before Spike did. He arrived
just as the minister was saying, “If there are any objections as to why these
two shouldn’t be wed, declare them now or forever hold your peace.” Angel stormed
down the aisle. There wasn’t many people seated. And
they were mostly women. There was the
sound of someone crying in the audience. A blond-haired boy.
“This is so
sweet. I love weddings,” the boy cried. A dark-haired
woman reached out and patted his back. “It’s okay,
Andrew.” “I know. These
are happy tears.” “Buffy, what
the hell do you think you are doing!?” All eyes were
focused on him. Most of them were filled with relief. “Angel, what
are you doing here?” “I was
invited.” “Not to ruin
it.” He saw agony
in her eyes. He almost regretted his actions. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe
she really did love Xander. But Xander was Xander. And Buffy
couldn’t possibly love Xander. Not in the marriage
kind of way. “Why are you
doing this, Buffy?” Buffy stared
at him hard. And then she gestured to her stomach. He hadn’t noticed it until
now. His entire concentration had been on stopping the ritual. Gaping, he
muttered, “Buff . . .” “My baby needs
a father,” she blurted. “And I only have a couple days to give her one.” It looked it
to. She was huge. Her small frame surely flaunted the bulge. Nothing made
sense anymore. His mind was a jumbled mess. He glanced around, taking in the
lawn. Angel rushed
at the man. He tackled him to the ground, raining blows. “You bastard!” Never before had Angel sounded so furious.
“How dare you knock up Buffy!” Xander tried to defend himself, but it was no use. If it wasn’t
for Buffy, Xander would have ended up a bloody pulp.
She pried the souled vamp off her groom. A few
slayers rose from the audience to help restrain him. Angel
relented. “Buffy, this is wrong. This is all wrong.” “I know that!”
she shouted. “I so know that! I‘m not supposed to be with Xander.
I‘m supposed to be . . .” Just then the
roaring of an engine could be heard. A red sports car ripped across the lawn.
It knocked down a few decorations on its way in. It came to a park, a white-cladded figure hopping out. “The wedding
is bleeding over!” Buffy swayed. “Spike?” Dawn said in disbelief, her voice cracking. Spike
swaggered up to Buffy in all his glory. She stared at him, memorizing his
features. It couldn’t be Spike. white jeans. Check. white shirt. Check. Leather duster.
Check. Bleached hair. Check. Blue
eyes. Double check. Hollow
cheekbones. Check. Oh god, it was Spike! Spike cupped
Buffy’s cheek. “Pet, what are you doing?” He stepped
back. Spike took in
his whole reason for being. She was gorgeous. Her hair was golden and shined in
the moonlight. Her green eyes shimmered. Her flowing white dress clung to her
thin form . . . Wait a sec . . . Fire coursed
through his veins. Red passed over his vision. He turned
around, aiming right for Xander Harris’s nose. “Fucking, wanker!” Xander held his nose, staring at Spike. There wasn’t malice in the young
man’s expression, like there used to be in the past. Instead his gaze was calm
with acceptance. Xander moved his hand away. Blood ran from his nostril. “Hey there,
Spike. Never thought I’d see you again.” Was that a
friendly tone? Spike couldn’t believe it. He threw another punch. “And I hoped
you never would,” Spike spat. He was about
to raise his fist again when someone grabbed it. “Stop it,
Spike, you don’t know what you are doing.” “Let go,
Faith. I don’t want to fight you.” “If that is
what it takes to get you to stop I’m game.” The bleached
vampire measured her up. She meant it. “All right,
slayer, let’s have at it.” Faith shook
her head. “Fine. You asked for it.” Before either
could start hitting or kicking, there was a shriek. “Oh God!” Everyone’s
attention fell on Buffy. “What, what is
it?” Dawn asked. Water cascaded
down the slayer’s cheeks. “My water just broke.” There was
silence. The whole gang froze. “Repeat that,”
Dawn said after a moment. “My water
broke.” She clutched her rounded belly. “But you
aren’t due until next week.” “I know,”
Buffy whispered. She hung her head. “I started having contractions a while ago.
I thought there was still time to get the wedding over with.” Spike didn’t
think. All he could comprehend was that Buffy was in distress. He took action
by swooping her up. He carried her off toward the convertible he had parked
nearby. The guests
watched as both blondes drove away. “What just
happened?” “I think Buffy
and Spike just left for the hospital,” Dawn clarified. *************************** The nurses
wouldn’t let Spike in because he wasn’t family. Damned
hospital regulation. “You can see
her after the birth,” a pretty, curly-haired woman told him. Dimmitt. He should put on his game face and . . . Angel sat down
beside him. “So, the rest
of you made it then?” Spike questioned dryly. “Yeah.” “Is Harris in
there with her?” The whelp’s name made him want to heave. “Yeah.” At least she
wasn’t alone, Spike thought. He gripped the green chair’s arms. Still, it
didn’t comfort him. *********************** Buffy was
progressing fast. That was fine with her. She was ready to get this over with. She gripped
the bed railing as another pain ripped through her. “Ahhh!” The metal
barrier came right off. “Ooops, crappy workmanship,” Buffy commented. Xander chuckled. “Hurts, huh?” “You don’t
even know.” She breathed,
a break coming between contractions. Buffy reached
for Xander’s hand. “Xan . .
.” “I know,
Buffy.” “Let me say it
anyway.” “Okay.” She inhaled
deeply. “I can’t marry you.” He nodded in
acceptance. “Will you get
Spike?” “Of course,”
he said to her request. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before
exiting the room. *********************** Spike got to
his feet when he saw Xander approaching. “You have some
nerve. . .” “Buffy wants
you,” Xander requested. Spike was
silenced. His eyes were wide and incredulous. “The-The
nurses won’t let me in. I’m not family.” “You belong in
there Spike. I don’t. Buffy’ll take care of the
nurses if they throw a fuss. Room 123, maternity. It‘s
on second floor.” After saying
that, Xander walked off. Spike made it
to Buffy’s room after what seemed like an eternity. He stood outside,
listening. He heard some intense breathing and a few grunts. He didn’t enter
until he heard her scream. Rushing in, he
saw the slayer gripping the sheets in her fists. When she saw him, she let go
and reached out for him. “Spike?” she
cried. “Spike? Spike?” He had never
heard her so weak and desperate. Hesitantly, he
went to her side. She grabbed him, pulling him down. Both arms went around him.
“Spike. Spike. Spike.”
She buried her face in his neck, soaking his skin. His name was a
mantra, sacred and full of longing. He stroked her
matted hair. “Buffy?” She moved. Her
mouth crushed to his, taking in all she could. Her tongue prodded and tasted,
stroked and swirled. She moaned with pleasure. All of a sudden her moan turned
to one of pain. They broke
away. She clenched his hand as her body got ready for active labor. “Are you all
right, luv?” She nodded.
She was all right now. She was with him. ********************** Xander moved down the hall in a trance. He felt bereft and cold. Then he saw
Faith and he stopped. She was by the pop-machine. She was about to insert a
quarter when she spotted him. “Hey, how you doin?” she asked. He took her
arm and dragged her through the hospital. “Come with
me,” Xander commanded. She didn’t
protest. She let him lead her through the building until they came to a door.
He pushed her inside. Xander switched on the light and mops, brooms, buckets, and cleaning
supplies came into view. “Um, Xander, this is a janitor closet,” she said. “I know.” He pinned her
to the wall. His hand ran up and down her body, feeling every curve. He began
to take hold of her dress and pull it up when she pushed him away. The force
wasn’t full of slayer strength. It was a tiny fling. “Xander, this is wrong,” Faith said. “I’m not your
fuck-toy.” Xander closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “I don’t want
you to be.” “We can’t do
this in a broom closet. I’m above that now.” Faith took his
hand. She led him out of the closet. “Let’s go home,”
she told him. They walked,
hand-in-hand, side-by-side, out the exit and toward home. ************************* Buffy pushed.
She could feel her baby coming. It hurt like hell. And yet, it was an amazing
experience. She was about to bring something into the world. Something
warm, glowing, and alive. Spike stroked
the side of her face. “You’re doing great.” And Buffy
wanted to tell him then. What he meant to her. What he was to her. But another
contraction hit. “Are you sure
you don’t want Xander here for this?” It was hard for
him to get the words out. “You- dope,”
she managed to get out. “What?” Buffy met his
blue orbs. “I love you, Spike. Please believe me.” His eyes
burned. “I love you too, Buffy.” A lot of
things happened in the next minute. Buffy broke Spike’s hand. A baby cried.
Buffy collapsed against the pillows, exhausted and looking beautiful. The baby
was washed and wrapped in a pink blanket. The baby was placed in Buffy’s arms.
The baby looked at Spike, and blue met blue. And Spike
knew. The Night Before the “Buffy, is
something wrong?” Spike looked at her intently. “No.” There
was a beat. “Yeah. I just realized something. Something that really never occurred to me before. We’re
going to win.” Buffy never
told him that two things occurred to her right then. One was there victory,
yes. But the other had more impact. That was when she truly knew she loved him.
“We’re going
to win.” Which meant they had a future. She had a future with
him. Buffy tenderly
pressed her lips to his. She pulled back to ask for permission to continue. “Can we try
again?” she asked. He answered
her by kissing her back. *********************** “I was going
to name her Joan.” Buffy laughed. “I know, I know. But I like that name. Except
. . . I’m not going to anymore. I’m going to name her Destiny.” She passed the
baby over to Spike. “Destiny, meet
your daddy.” Spike cried.
He never cried in public. Except once before. And this time. “We’re meant
to be,” Buffy declared. “We’re alive. Well, mostly. And we’re together. And-And
look what we made together.” The triad
huddled together. Buffy and Spike’s tears mingled. ************************ The whole
hospital heard the yell. “I have a
daughter!” It was full of
triumph and pride. It hit Angel like a knife through the heart. No, a stake. Angel got up
and left. ************************* Dawn loitered
outside the room. She was unsure about going in. The door
cracked open. Spike peeked out and smiled at her. She smiled back. “Come in,” he
said in greeting. “But be quiet.” The teen
entered, taking in the display on the bed. Buffy was hugging Destiny to her,
both of them in slumber. “Aw, the baby
is so cute,” Dawn remarked. “They both
are.” Spike gazed at
his girls with love. Then he turned back to Dawn, showing the love he felt for
her as well. Dawn rushed at
him. She threw her arms around his neck. “I missed you
so much. Don’t leave. Please don’t leave again,” she begged him. “Never,” he
declared. Spike took her
arm and led her to the bed. “Come meet the new addition to our family.” *********************** Dawn left
shortly after to go boast about her niece. She ran into Andrew. He was crying
happy tears. “Aw, this is
more beautiful than the wedding. I just love babies.” “Come on,
Andrew.” Spike crawled
into bed, next to Buffy. He adjusted them so that the baby was nestled between
them. His little girl stirred, burrowing into both parents, but she didn’t
wake. Spike lay back
and shut his eyes. It wasn’t long before he got that rest he had been deprived
of before. ____________________________________________ The End! Wow, that took
me 3 ½ hours to write. And I didn’t stop. Wow! This idea came
to me this morning while I was reading The Prophecy by Witchiepoo
(great story). I got to the wedding and wondered, what
if Buffy was going to marry Xander? And hence, this
came into creation. I’m very pleased with it. Hope you enjoyed it as well. And
I know Buffy pregnancy stories are so cliché, but I really couldn’t help it. I
needed a really good reason for why she would marry Xander.
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