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"The beer tastes better when you win"-Gary Gaetti

Worldwide Gaetti Cult Member Tracker

You've got Gaetti coming in full speed, and NOBODY plays the game like Gaetti! - Legendary announcer Al Michaels ('87 WS)

G-Man of the People

Gary Gaetti Highlights

Extremely Quick Cült History

Picture this, you're an all-star Major League Baseball player with a World Series ring on your finger and life is all well and good, but then one day you wake up to have a hot cup of Sanka and read the paper only find out that you have a cult in North Dakota. These things happen.....

And from off the streets of Grand Forks comes The Gary Gaetti Cult.....

Three things are certain, The Gary Gaetti Cult believes in individual liberties, rock 'n' roll, and of course the G-Man himself. The year is 2019 and The Cult now has roughly 21 years in existence. It all started back in 1998 when we were attending the University of North Dakota drinking and dreaming and watching Gaetti and the Cubs on television at the 514 clubhouse. At the time, we were young men who had our first taste of freedom, with a beer in one hand and an American flag in the other, it was a time of testing boundaries, raising hell, pulling pranks, listening to hard rock, and running amuck as free men. We were sports fans and were looking for a player that represented "us"....that man was simply Gary Gaetti. Still today, the average cult member enjoys: watching quality sports (baseball, hockey, football), shooting guns, burning fossil fuels, riding motorcycles, and running pranks on friends and enemies. The page is what it is. I guess time and space met, shared a can of beer, and The Cult was formed.

514 Cottonwood "The Ivory Compound"

We always cheered for Gaetti not just because of his mullet, flapless helmet, wrist hair, and huge bat, but because he busted his ass every night, brought intensity and a commitment of fundamental baseball to the field, and was not out there for a fashion show like Jeter and those other Backstreet Boy players. He was/is the workingman's player....a Miller High Life man of sorts.

We used to drink a few cans of beer at the clubhouse and then at the wee hours call a "Gaetti meeting" at the now defunct Jeannie's Restaurant in Grand Forks (if you try and order a #12 there now, you'll get either a set of wiper blades or a rare Yugoslavian brake pad). A lot of hell would be raised at Jeannie's as the spirit of Gaetti's earlier years always reigned supreme.

Jeannie's Restaurant Jeannie's Epitaph

The Gary Gaetti Cult is something that we have always laughed about but the page seems to be a hit with other visitors as we've had many folks mention that they've laughed their asses off after magically stumbling onto the page. There are a lot of boring web pages out there and we've always tried to be different from your average fan pages, even if we've crossed a few lines in the process.....including alienating the local media. The Gary Gaetti Cult is sort of like the Louvre of 80's-90's baseball player pages, sometimes hard to see everything in one sitting....so please feel free to make multiple visits. So sit back, set your favorite 6 pack of fermented grain next to the computer and buckle up for the ride.

We hope you'll have an enjoyable visit to this strange vortex within the World Wide Web. We will keep doing our part if you keep believing in the G-Man. We're dreaming the undreamable dream. I thank you gentle strangers.--The Chairman and Vice Chair Ronnie James Dio (we went to separate arcades to get our pictures done).

The Gaetti Cult: The years have gone by and I say we've kicked some ass...

Gaetti and the Sugar Land, TX Skeeters

Gary Arguing a Call

1998 Game 163 Cubs HR

1987, Gary homers in first 2 postseason at bats.....

Hilarious video that Gary sent to The Cult of his son Joe impersonating him before a AAA Colorado Springs game

'87 Gaetti Highlight Reel

The Insider Bat training tool/video endorsed by the G-Man

The Upbucket.....endorsed by the G-Man

The Cult Meets Gary Gaetti

A Gaetti Cult plug, on the Jim Rome Radio Show, by the Sklar Brothers

The Gary Gaetti Cult's Own "You Can't Do This In France" Page

Pictures from Gaetti Fests, the Grygla Cup, and other assorted debauchery

While having a cold can of Grain Belt with Gary at the '87 WS Reunion, I (The Chairman) asked him if we should change anything on the page....

He replied: "Don't change anything.......you gotta keep that edge"

The mullet: business in the front, party in the back

The most important man in America and Bill Clinton

Yeah, I've got a cult........

Either ready for ball or Camaro racing

There's nothing we could say here that's funnier than the picture......

If you don't have perfect hair or the ability to conduct proper stretches, you can forget about winning


A Gary Gaetti "used sock" card created by Cult member Jeremy Swanson....nice work

"Swingin a hot stick boys"

Sleeves hide intensity

"Don't push it...or I'll give you a war you won't believe" -Rambo in First Blood

Flapless helmets are a symbol of something you can't be taught: EXPERIENCE

Gary, remember the old days when we'd go out partyin' at 4am and get those um footlong chili dogs

Take your vitamins, say your prayers at night, and stay hungry


Who followed Gary in high school in 1975? "The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude" -Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Gaetti Vice"

Gary, the camera is over here!

Can we call this guy out just for sliding like a no talent ass clown when there wasn't even a throw???

Patriot Gary Gaetti with troops at West Point. They don't let wimps in there.

Big Mac congratulating Gary on having the toughest webpage in baseball

Gary's not about to go and bullshit with the enemy....

if a 3B has a mustache like this, and a batting glove under his fielding glove, forget about trying to leg out a single on him

Gary's looking either hungover or angry with someone's mechanics.

Gaetti, a "cult" following since '98.......

Welcome to the Skeeters Roge, now lose the frosted hair......

Can't teach an old dawg new moves

GG is synonymous for both Gold Glove and Gary Gaetti

Even as a Cardinal, Gaetti was a Cub at heart

To be a stud 3B, you need the mullet, flapless lid, wrist hair, and x-heavy bat, period.

I love the smell of napalm in the mornin'

No helmet flaps allow the mullet to flap......

Soft-tossing future Cult members one at a time

Great pic from Cult memeber Ian from NY

"Yeah Lori (of Jeannies), it's the G Man, I'll have the #13, eggs over easy....and Glenallen wants fries and gravy."

The weather in Grand Forks, ND (The Mothership)

"North Dakota isn't just a state.....it's a state of mind" -Chairman

Gaetti Named 3B On All-Metrodome Team

Metrodome Memories

All-Metrodome List By Position

Dome Magic!!!

'87 Twins Championship Parade Footage

Gaetti "Halls Bells"/'87 Twins WS Reunion

Apart from the 20th anniversary reunion of the Twins 1987 World Series Championship, Gary had the honor of being inducted into the Minnesota Twins Hall of Fame....all of this on the weekend of his 49th birthday. Full Story

The boys are back in town!!!

Mr. G and Hrbek being announced to the crowd

Gary with REX during the '87 team introductions

The 1987 World Series Championship team

Gary with his family on his Twins HOF induction day

Watching highlights with his daughter Gigi

Gary's Twins HOF Speech

"He had the guts and every night he wanted to go out there and kick the other team's butt. And I liked that," teammate Kent Hrbek said in his induction speech

The first pitch of the game was a throw to Hrbek at 1B

"You always heard about Puckett, Hrbek, but as far as backbone and guys that wanted to win, Gary wanted to win more than anybody," Hrbek said. "He was the guy screaming at the opponent from the top step of the dugout. Gary wasn't out there to make friends or headlines. He was just out there to win."

Immortalized in Twins history

Bleedcubbieblue.com homer call

Top 20 Cub Homers (fittingly, Gary's "playoff magic" shot on Sept 28, 1998 is #8)

A single fist....the sign of victory

Runnin' from the shadows of the night

G-Man turned 2 double plays in one game....only modern era human to do so

You didn't want to interview Gary when he had this look

The Sam Elliot Years

What we can tell here is that Gary hit 21 bombs and that Ajax the dog appeared on his card

Chairman's personal favorite pic (bad wrist hair day)

The men of Minnesota Twins hardball

Bustin' ass every play

The wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'

Chuck Norris beard in this one

Gaetti To Enter Italian American Sports Hall of Fame

Gary will be in attendance for his induction into the Italian American Sports Hall of Fame on Saturday, February 27th in Chicago, joining 200 other inductees that include Joe DiMaggio, Vince Lombardi and Dan Marino. That's amore!!!!!!


I don't need no stinkin' Viagra or "juice" to go over the top Raffi!

Hot Corner shot

Double trouble

Cardinal mullet

Even skyballs are kinda cool

The Cult likes to think Gaetti and Hrbek used to challenge this rule

Having a cup of coffee in the show......

'87 World Series cut

Gary clearly looks the most menacing out of these boys

Looks like I'm tap dancing to first base in nothin' but powder blue

100 percent effort....nothing less

You're the best around

Gary Gaetti patrolling the hot corner

Wrists of fury

Great magazine title......

Always safe to go with Gaetti

A Total Eclipse Of The Heart (formerly A Moment For Us)

Gary is simply referred to as the "G-man". Gary patrols the hot corner over at third base. Gary never says die....his refusal to keep his #8 jersey clean is an attribute to the man who serves as an everyday Mr.T to us all. We call him the Italian Stallion....others call him a George Washington of sorts pioneering how wearing helmets with no ear-guards should be used, just ask Dave Winfield, Gary Carter, Keith Hernandez, Don Baylor and Tim Raines). *Gary actually was the last man to wear such a helmet until Raines came out of retirement in 2002 to beat Gary's helmet record.

The keen play of Gary along with his tremendous head of hair are popular with the women of the Midwest. WGN makes a note of showing all of these great sides of Gary. My dear friends and I made a pilgrimage, to Wrigley, on September 1999 to visit Gary. He came in to pinch hit and we gave him a standing ovation....unfortunately nobody else felt our sentiments (a few laughs here and there). Gary acknowledged us with a pop-up to left. Gary defines "leadership" whether he makes a snare at 3 bag or if he gets busted by Steve Stone and Chip Caray in the dugout with a golf sweater on (keeping things loose in the clubhouse I guess).

"What on earth is Gary Gaetti doing with that golf sweater on!!?", cried Chip Caray.

"It looks kinda good on him", noted our man Steve Stone. (1999)

No flaps, no problems....

I'm the ruler of the hot corner, let's see if anyone wants to test that....

Great stash shot


Don't make fun of Gaetti's mullet braaaa

Jared Allen on the mullet....

Textbook takeout

I don't care, I'll even takeout the Wiz!!!

Remember to touch home Gary!

G-Maniacs (I think Napoleon Dynamite sketched this one)


missle lock

9 ironed it

.....and to really get the animal instincts I've needed to patrol the hot-corner, I'll go into the forest, over a weekend, with just my bandana and my survival knife and I'll catch whitetail deer with my bare hands and cook them over an open flame. What are your weekends like Aggie???

Cult members also wear aviator shades (most of ours cost $3.99 and say "SPORTS" on the front and sides)

Gary was the rock of that '87 club

Giving the fans at Wrigley a reason to be happy

#8 celebrates in 87'

ALCS MVP Preview? I think so

Tenacious G dominated virtual baseball too, it's like the computer knew of his powers...

Big lumber, big results

Gary tagging out Willie Mays Hayes in the movie Major League.

Gary, were at home today, switch unys!

'84 Topps, a classic

Gary, I'm hungover too but we play ball in 30 minutes, get your butt to The Dome!

Gant: You gotta get me on the webpage man!

Gary: Sure, sure, sure...


The man with the golden stash

Gary with the "contractors" mustache

1 swing, 3 runs

Don't like the way I slide.....do something about it

Where we boozing G Man?

A great finish with the BoSox in the year 2000

An appropriate sponsor for the '83 Gaetti/Twins schedule

Keep your eye on the fruit...

One of the great cards showing a man's determination.....

Cult member Vincent Riendeau's old favorite pic

Vince's new favorite

One of the Chairman's new favorites.....

Trying to buzz the tower on a guy with no ear flaps on his helmet...Gaetti is not scared.

Gary is sending some lumber back to the mound

"What's that, you want some....you want a little?" Gary talking smack to the pitcher who brushed him. (note the adjustable softball-like hat)

Gary laughing after the game

Jolly Jokers

Gaetti was a key part of a clubhouse filled with renowned practical jokers. Blyleven regularly lit the shoelaces of teammates on fire. Brunansky made a habit of tormenting public address announcer Bob Casey, often lining Casey's telephone ear piece with black shoe polish, then calling Casey's number. Hrbek would push his body against revolving glass doors, slamming the faces of his unsuspecting teammates.

"It didn't matter if we were waiting for an airplane at the airport or we were in the airport or we were checking into a hotel or riding the bus on the way to the ballpark - somebody was always doing something that was hilarious," Gaetti said. "You'd have Hrbek lying down on the airport conveyer belt, going through the X-ray machine. Or the $5 bill with the fishing line attached to it in the middle of the airport concourse. "Everybody was always trying to find a way to enjoy the moment. A lot of times it was at somebody's expense, but the guys on the team knew how to laugh at themselves." -Dennis Bracklin (Star Tribune)

Friggin bright out

Gary's lovin' these v-neck jerseys

Mullet + strapped shades = winning

Taking notes on being a secret weapon from Oquendo......

Seated with Twins royalty

Crouching G-Man, not so hidden mullet

The Wall

Sometimes I play on my knees just to give em a chance

Kids, keep those hands back

There's just something about Gary

No time for personal grooming, just hardball baby

The Stroke

I'd like a Budweiser, tall, and a couple dogs

A rare shot of Gary smiling with a mustache

Gary Gaetti: 360 career dongs

Gary used to be in Steely Dan before taking up hardball

Ha ha, Seagal and Van Damme could NOT take Norris and me

The GGC: Intimidating the web since the late 90's

With future Gaetti Cult members

Posterized in '87

Did anyone order takeout???

Gary cuts through shortstops like a Husqvarna chainsaw

Gary telling a minor leaguer how kegs should be thrown into truckbeds.

Damn, I hooked it

As Redd Roxx says: "fugg it"

Flakes of Fury

I get there first, I win

The Rat Pack (thumbs up)

Nothin' but a G thing

Who wants a little???

It ain't easy swinging a small tree

Gary crushing balls with the caveman beard

Gaetti catching for future Cult members!

Gary goes yard.

Gary-Gant after just receiving word that TBS was going to run a Slyvester Stallone marathon.

Word has it the new line of Gaetti clothing is finally available at your nearest hip-hop store

Gary can't believe that his truck made it home last night.

The big cat's callin' you off on this one there buckshot

I know I'm just the grand marshall here Clean Shower guy, but while I'm at it, I'm gonna have to check out that restrictor plate...

Playoff Magic!!!

It pisses me off why guys think they can even try and hit it by me

Do you have any idea who you're throwing at son....

Rookie days, lip salad looking good already

Thank you, I'll be here all week

The Royal Gaetti-bombs

Powder blue

Stache em

Scoring can be funny

'89 All-Star Game Homerun Derby lumber!!!

Gary Goatee-etti

I think Gary was grandfathered in on the flapless helmet and the v-neck jersey....

You want to throw a ball up into the hornets nest......you better be ready to get buzzed

There was no offseason for Gaetti

The birthplace of a superstar (Centralia)

"When I was growing up, two things were big in that area: baseball and beer. It's probably still that way." -Gary Gaetti

Twins owner Carl Pohlad 1915-2009

Kirby Puckett 1960-2006

Friends of The Gary Gaetti Cült

Chief Contributor David Gatti, his boys and the G-Man

G-Man fan David Gatti at Strohs Spring Training '06

G-Man w/ Cult member David Hamilton

Matt Harris w/ his favorite Cub

Gaetti superfan, DJH, spotted in a Chicago bar after the Cubs/Cards game

Picure submission on straightcashhomey.net....

Gary G and Frankie V*. Frank the Tank.....an absolute witch on the mound.

*I was told that a local Grand Forks punk band was so impressed with the old Frank Viola segment of the Gary Page, that they had a picture of Frankie on one of their show flyers.

A Moment for us

The family picture of the dwellers of 514 Cottonwood (Front:Mike "Yao" Zimney, Brian Geatz/ Back: Brian "Hansel" Hanson, Ben Ehreth, houseguest Jason "Kato" Okstad).

What else would you do with a coupon for free portraits?

Bad Idea Sportscards

Mark....grandma wants her glasses back

Matching game

The Blue Jays' Rance (Sir-Rance-A-Lot) Mulliniks and Kip Dynamite

Dwight Schrute of The Office and former Tiger dork Paul Gibson

A sad Peyton Manning and sad George Michael (Arrested Development)

Gaetti Cult Undeniable Facts:

Official clubhouse beer: Milwaukee's Best "The Beast" Light, good taste/priced right

Official bar beer: Grain Belt Premium

Official source for nutrition: Red Pepper "taco grinders"

Official scent:

Official things to watch on tv: baseball, hockey and action movies

Official TV show: Walker Texas Ranger

Official restaurant: Jeannie's in Grand Forks, ND

Offical Cult server at Jeannie's: Lorrie

Official song: "Holy Diver" by Dio. Ronnie James wants to know if you're a serious Gaetti fan???

Official bar:

The Bun Lounge: Northside, Old Mill Road, Grand Forks, ND...."The Bun For One"

*official bar may very well have been Judy's in Grand Forks, ND where Mike Commodore brought the Stanley Cup, but Cult member Shane Martin didn't like the fact that they remodled, even after wind damage, so they are out.

Shane "Hero" Martin and The Cult's Main Man Pat Davis


AKA The Halls of Men

William Shatner

Ronnie James Dio

The Sklar Brothers

Jose "The Secret Weapon" Oquendo

Bruce Dickinson

Steven Wright

Juan "Senor Smoke" Berenguer

Coast to Coast Am's Art Bell

Don Cherry

GF legend Bruce Tellmann


Clint Eastwood

Bon Scott

David Carradine

The D

Crispin Glover

Burt Reynolds

Lee Marvin

Carl Weathers

Maverick Al Davis

M. Emmet Walsh

George Wendt

Mike Hagerty

John Goodman

Billy Dee Williams

Chicago's Vince Vaughn

Eddie Money

Conway Twitty

Johnny Cash

ND's Darin Erstad and Pronk Hafner

Uncle Ted


Bruce Campbell

Richard Marx and Steve Perry....faithfully

G-Cult Approved Sound Clips (updated 8/9/07)

Former Cubs skipper Lee Elia...goin to battle for his boys (thumbs up by me).

Elia Sound Clip (pause Gaetti jukebox)

Elia Cubs Promo...very funny

Donny Zimmer on Goose Gossage

Managers Corner...with Earl Weaver

Earl says this ump crew is here for one specific reason......

Tommy Lasorda to the mound

Lasorda has news for Bevacqua....

Lou Kicking and Screaming

Carl Lewis and the National Anthem....Uh oh

Suggested Movies:

Lone Wolf McQuade (trailer)

American Movie (trailer)

This Is Spinal Tap (clip)

The Delta Force (trailer)

Slap Shot (clip)

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (show clip)

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (trailer)

Army Of Darkness

Where the Buffalo Roam

Rubin and Ed

The Big Lebowski (clip)

Gary Gaetti's Movie Selections:

Over the Top (Stallone, trucking, and arm wrestling...obviously #1)

The Rambo Movies (it's like Gaetti with guns and survival knives)

The Octagon (Gary is basically the Chuck Norris of baseball, and the #8)

Links We Trust

Résumé of the Gods: Gary's Career stats

Joe Gaetti's Career Stats

The RBI Page

The Red Pepper, a "cult" restaurant in Grand Forks

Twin Galaxies Intergalactic Scoreboard

Coast to Coast AM

The Gary Gaetti Cult's Own: Little Steve Stone Page

ESPN columnist Bill Simmons' Gaetti Cult link

Sklar Brothers Home Page

Cheap Seats youtube.com videos

Top 100 guy movies by Maxim Magazine(Slapshot #1)

Wayne's Hockey Fight Page

Sportsmen's Bar, Wilton, ND

When the Mullet Hits the Bone

A Gaetti/Flapless Helmet Tribute (End Of An Ear-a)

15 Classic Baseball Mustaches

©1998, 2019 Whiskey-Faced Productions