100 Ways to Tell if You're Too Chipper

  1. You're the only one who doesn't cry at your parent's/friends/family member's funeral.
  2. You give the eulogy at your loved one's funeral and you don't cry.
  3. You can't give the eulogy, you're laughing too hard.
  4. You're grinning when you get the death penalty.
  5. Your last words are "Cool! I don't think that semi driver can see us!!!"
  6. You're totally hyper 24-7.
  7. You're still chipper after a week w/o sleep.
  8. Your cheerfulness gets you committed.
  9. You once tried to frown and discovered you couldn't.
  10. Your puppy tires out faster than you.
  11. Geometry doesn't bore you.
  12. You cheer when given a 500 point essay test that could very well determine wheter you pass or fail the class.
  13. Your gothic neighbors have nightmares about becoming you. -Amber
  14. Your normal neighbors have nightmares about becoming you.
  15. Your normal neghibor's little puppy has nightmares about becoming you. -Amber
  16. Your're more perky than Mr. Schwartz (all Mr's or Mrs's refer to teachers), even on Monday morning, after having no sleep, breakfast, caffeine, or other drugs.
  17. Compared to you, Barney's depressed.
  18. You're more hyper, after one week without sleep than the whole Barney cast combined. -Amber
  19. You're writing this note. -Julia (note: she wrote quite a few of them later on, plus, she was the inspiration for this list!)
  20. Compared to you, the entire Nick Jr. cast seems suicidal. (if you either don't have cable or do have a life, you probably don't know what nick jr. is. it's a buncha little kids tv shows on nickelodeon on weekday mornings)
  21. You get more excited figuring out Blue's Clues than Steve (the guy on the show) does. -Amber
  22. You start singing the Hanukkah song in the middle of your math final test.
  23. You've never cussed in your life.
  24. You're stranded in the desert with no water and little hope of rescue and you're singing "MMMBop" and jumping around.
  25. You're in hell and you're still in a good mood.
  26. You're in hell and you're cheerier than all of heaven.
  27. Your fiancee leaves you at the altar and you're still happy.
  28. Your one true love rejects you and you're smiling like crazy.
  29. Your devil says he hates you and you still jump 4 joy. -Hannah (note: her exact wording. And yes, it does mean the same as the last one.)
  30. You laughed for 12 hours straight.
  31. You're the school mascot and you're still perkier than hell. -Kristin
  32. The only way to settle you down is to tell you that you didn't make the pep squad. -Kristin
  33. You're more cheerful than all the cheerleaders in the country, including the Spartans.
  34. Saying or hearing the word chipper makes you giggle. -Amber
  35. When you go to the circus the clowns seem depressed. -Amber
  36. Once when you were being stalked by hyenas you almost died when you were no longer able to run because you were laughing too hard. -Amber
  37. You go to the zoo just to chase the squirrels. -Amber
  38. You find Mr. Schwartz funny on Monday mornings. -Amber
  39. You find Mr. Anderson funny on Monday mornings.
  40. You're stranded in -30 degree temperatures and you're dancing with the snowman you built and singing christmas carols. -Amber and me.
  41. You're excited about becoming Sr. Fry Cook at McDonald's after only 27 years of service.
  42. You're still happy about being demoted to Jr. Assistant Fry Cook Trainee at McDonald's after ony 28 years of service.
  43. You're 20-some years old and still having dreams about a land of giant bubble gum and lollipops. -Amber
  44. You're still smiling after being stabbed 47 times.
  45. You can watch Chuckie movies all night and wake up smiling. -Amber
  46. A law is passed that forbids you to buy Mountain Dew--to protect the public.
  47. You find the Spanish videos fascinating.
  48. You cheered when Mr. Schwartz gave his European coffee lecture.
  49. You cheered for various things during Titanic. (Go, iceberg! Run, rich guy, run! Come on, lifeboat! Find some survivors!)
  50. Mr. O'Connor's lectures on ancient Greek scientists thrill you.
  51. A piece of lint intrigues you. (Cool! It's shaped like President Clinton's profile!)
  52. People start wondering if you got into Mr. Simpson's liquor stash.
  53. You've ever been refered to as the Tasmanian Devil. -Kristin
  54. In the middle of playing pep band you put down your instrument and start singing your part (bum bum ba da da DEEEE!)
  55. You thought up more than 50 things on this list. (uh oh.)
  56. You stare at a picture for hours just to see if it will stare back. -Julia
  57. You practice saying "Happy New Year" at midnight for a whole month so you can get it right the night of. -Julia
  58. When you do sleep, you sleep in your cheerleading uniform. -Julia and me
  59. You dream about smiling.
  60. Your worst nightmare was about being sad.
  61. You've never cried without smiling at the same time. -Amber
  62. The last (and first) time you cried, it was tears of joy.
  63. You'd still try to cheerlead with a broken arm and leg.
  64. You're still bouncing around with a splitting headache.
  65. You can't remember the last time you weren't happy.
  66. You polish your trophies every day just to see your smiley face. -Amber
  67. You sign people's yearbooks and your pictures "Don't worry, be happy--like me!"
  68. You superglue your eyes open so you don't miss anything. -Julia
  69. You outcheer the cheerleaders.
  70. You tried to be goth, but you couldn't stop smiling, even when they all laughed at you.
  71. You crack your wrists to keep beat to "If You're Happy And You Know It." -Julia
  72. Your first words were "If You're Happy and You Know It..."
  73. Your last words were "If You're Happy and You Know It..."
  74. Your favorite movie is Titanic, AFTER you stood up on a railing, trying to be like Rose in that scene--and then fell 3 stories onto a slab of concrete, hospitalizing yourself for months.
  75. You are often mistaken for a member of the Barney cast.
  76. You start making costumes for the pheasant. -Kristin
  77. You can sing "If You're Happy and You Know It" in French--and know what it means. -Martine (note: she's supposed to be goth!)
  78. If all you say is "Oh, did you see what Mr. Hoornaert is wearing today, did you see what he was wearing, ohmygod did you see what he was wearing did you see his pants, oh does he look good today!! God is he fine!!! -Kristin (note: that's her, every waking moment.)
  79. You die with a smile on your face. -Jamie
  80. Even during Spirit Week, despite the fact that your school has the cheeriest cheerleaders ever, you still complain about their lack of enthusiasm and school spirit.
  81. You laugh at other people's inside jokes
  82. You actually use the word "Chipper."



Okay, so it isn't quite 100 yet, so sue me. It will be, though. And if you can help me reach my goal, let me know!