'Twas the night before Chritmas and in his apartment,
Mulder was searching for spies the smoking man sent.
The agent locked all entrances with care,
In fear the aliens soon might be there.
Scully was sitting all alone on the floor,
While Mulder once again checked the locks on the door.
The aliens and their good friends who took his sister (but why?)
Would not get that agent to believe in their lie.
Then out on the street there arose such a clatter,
The agents ran to the door to see what's the matter.
Away to the fire escape Mulder did dash,
Threw open the door, gave Scully whiplash.
The light streaming from the downed UFO,
Made Mulder exclaim ”The truth’s down there! I know!”
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a little grey man-not from ‘round here!
Scully said “Mulder, lets just go back in quick,
It’s nothing more than some stupid trick.”
But Mulder shouted ”NO!” and flew down the stairs,
And Scully watched the aliens get called out in pairs.
“Come Richie, come Chachi,
And Joanie and Ralph,
Come Howard, come Fonzie,
Come ET and Alf.”
“To the top of the stairs to the top of the wall!
Now kill the men kill the men kill the men all!”
As fat cops to a donut stand fly,
They headed for Mulder his body to fry.
And up to the housetop the agent did run,
Hoping his days on the X-Files were not yet done.
And then in a twinkling Scully heard on the roof,
Mulder start yelling something about the truth.
As Mulder fired a shot and was turning around,
Up the staircase Scully came with a bound.
She was dressed all in black from her head to her foot,
And she wore a long trench coat the color of soot.
She said” Mulder, don’t worry I’ve got your back.”
And the aliens looked frightened by the thought of attack.
Their knees how they shook!
Their glances so wary!
The looks they gave Scully said “Boy is she scary!”
They began to leave, Mulder thought they were dim.
After all they feared Scully, but didn’t fear him.
A white flag of peace was raised to the sky,
And then Mulder’s sanity did say goodbye
He grinned a strange grin, a look straight from hell,
That made Scully believe that Mulder’s not well.
He started laughing very softly at first,
But as it grew louder his partner feared the worst.
The look in his eyes and laughter they did hear,
Made the aliens know they had something to fear.
Mulder spoke not a word but cut to the chase,
And pointed his gun right at an alien’s face.
And clutching his gun Mulder did ask,
“Who sent you? And what is your task?”
Scully sprang to his side and said “Mulder you’re mad!
Look they’re nothing but kids in alien costumes clad.”
He saw this was true just kids quaking in fright.
So Merry Christmas to all
‘Cuz Mulder’s NOT RIGHT!