Touchy subject rating: 9
Rated at a 9 because I am fucking crude.


Women's Top Sex Complaints.

After he climaxes, it's over.
You have fingers. Use them.

Foreplay? What foreplay?
I think this is my biggest pet peeve. It breaks down to this: a woman's cunt takes stimulation to get it ready for sex- the more aroused we are beforehand, the more relaxed our internal muscles will be and the more natural lubrication will be present. Understand that without sufficient arousal, sex is PAINFUL for us for the first few minutes (or longer.) And the better it is for us, believe me, the better it will be for you.

We only kiss before sex.
What the hell is this?! Don't roll over and go to sleep, jackass. Make your girl feel like shes more than a peice of ass, even if she isn't. Lesson number two on this subject: Kissing doesn't have to lead to sex. You can make out on the couch for three hours and go home and jack off. It won't kill you, I promise.

He seems hesitant to perform oral sex on me.
Now, I can partially understand some of this. My worst problem with going down on girls has always been that they never tell me what they like. Yes, I can do wonderful things with my tongue, but I don't have a sixth sense that tells me which ones you like best. If I can't hear any enjoyment, I stop.
If your problem is with the smell/taste/hair/etc, GET OVER IT. You think your dick tastes like candy?

He can't find my G Spot.
It's not a myth. Explore her. With your fingers. Gently. And pay attention, because the G-spot has a different texture than the rest of the vaginal walls. And if you find it, you can get almost every girl off with your fingers in less than five minutes.

We're in the mood for sex at different times of the day.
Comprimise here. If she likes it at night, and you like it in the morning, give her what she wants, and wake her up in a nice way in the morning. (I mean with your tongue, not your cock.)

He sticks his tongue in my ear to turn me on.
Yes, we want you to remind us of the family dog. Use the tip of your tongue, not the whole thing. Pointer: The earlobe and outside of the ear are more sensitive than the beginning of the ear canal. Cartilage earrings, when sucked on VERY gently, do amazing things.

All dirty talk, all the time.
Unless its phone sex, it turns me off. "You want it?! You fucking want IT?!?" I have it, moron.

He orgasms too quickly.
Size doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does. Longevity matters much, much more. A quickie in the bathroom at the Pulse or on the hood of the car in the middle of the woods should last 5-15 minutes, but anything in the bedroom/shower/one the floor/kitchen counter needs at least 45. If you can't help getting off quick, you have two choices: masturbate before you go, and you'll last longer, or be prepared to go again in 15 minutes.

We always do it the same old way.
Everyones been a victim of this. Learn new positions, and keep trying them until you master them (I still haven't mastered my favorite, the double lotus- guy sits up, croses his legs, girl is on his lap with her legs wrapped around his torso and feet crossed in the back. Its a bitch and a half, but maybe I like it because its a challenge.) The other big factor in this is location- the bed is only one option, and some people don't even like it. They might prefer a table, the floor, the shower, public places, up against a wall, etc. Mix it up as often as possible.

I don't have any more questions to add to this, so I have nothing more to answer. Although I would like to add one item of relation... Don't tell everyone you know who you just fucked. We've all been guilty of it, but seriously, grow up and learn that your sexcapades are yours, and most people don't want to hear about them. And in small towns or scenes, your partner will hear about it whether everyone says they won't tell or not, and your future nookie privliges will go out the window. Especially if you trash them behind their back. A little tip on bad lays is that they can improve: the first few times are awkward no matter what, but when you get to a mutual understand of eachother's bodies and figure out what pleases... Theres a chance it can blow your mind.

~Corey

Email: FrogOfChaos@hotmail.com
AIM: FrogOfChaos
Yahoo: tapedandtied






Be good, or be good at it.