The J.R. Report

Welcome to the J.R. report. This weekend the UHW gave one million dollars to the American Red Cross. Grimmstone and Kenny Ireland were there for the dedication. This week on The Late show with David Letterman Rock and Vampiro appeared. They taught Dave some moves and then The Rock sang Elvis' "You aighn't nothing but a hound dog" C-4's new book "BOOM! The real truth of UHW" appeared on the New York Bestseller list. And Micheal Carington was shown at the Yankees- Athletics game. That series is tied as the Yankees won 9-2. This weekend on Heat was perhaps the most dastardly scheme since Sept 11th. The Ace has gone nuts. Kiddnapping Hellraiser as well as putting Cataclysm in an asylum. Never before has a more indecent individual been in control of D-X. He is my guest this week.

J.R.: Welcome to the show. It's glad to see you finally showed up in the studio. Ace: Yeah ask you stupid questions.

J.R.: My first question is why?

Ace: Why what?

J.R.: Why turn your back on all your fans? Why kidnap Hellraiser? Why turn in Cataclysm?

Ace: Hold on, First of all the fans turned on me, second of all Cataclysm is nuts It's not the first time he's been put in an asylum. And as for Hellraiser watch and see.

J.R.: You've recently lost The World title. How long until you try for it again?

Ace: It will take as long as it takes. But you can damn sure bet that I'll be UHW champion again.

J.R.: You have never wanted tag gold why now? Why with Eminem?

Ace: Any gold that Paralysis has will be D-X's. And that goes for all of you out there. Paralysis, Dark Carnival, UHW,WCW, ECW, It doesn't matter. D-X is tops in this fed so to hell with you.

J.R. O.K. but how can...

Ace: Shut the hell up! You will respect me you bastard. I have fought long and hard for respect so... You know what this interview is over.

The Ace stand ups and knocks J.R.'s hat off his head and slams his microphone on the ground. He flips off J.R. and that is the end off the interview