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----- Original Message -----
From: scorpionsbaby
To: Darla K Larason;Dora Campbell;LaVere Galloway;Robin Lynn Bagshaw;Vicki Gadke
Sent: 4/3/02 9:20:30 PM
Subject: Fw: Good Quotes

 
 
Subject: Good Quotes



Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a
 woman I don't like
and just give her a house."
* Lewis Grizzard

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a
 penis, and only enough
blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and
 saving an infant's
life, she will choose to save the infant's life without
 even considering if
there is a man on base."
* Dave Barry

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down
on them?"
* Marilyn Pittman

"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took
 her out in the lake
and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't
 trying to teach you
how to swim..."
* Paula Poundstone

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm
 halfway through my fish
burger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a
 slow learner!"
* Lynda Montgomery

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of
people in New York said,
'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just
isn't cold enough.
Let's go west.'"
* Richard Jeni

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
 impersonators would be
dead."
* Johnny Carson

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line
 up quietly in a
 single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the
 logic? Do tall people
burn slower?"
* Warren Hutcherson

"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they
always say the same
thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
* Marsha Warfield

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the
same."
* Oscar Wilde

"Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a
member of
Congress...But I repeat myself."
* Mark Twain

"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet."
* Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think
of it as the only
time of the month that I can be myself."
* Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal 

 
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