Kimberly held me while I was sobbing in her arms, she was rocking me back and forth. I had just told her what happened. Kimberly was still trying to get over the shock of it all. How could Jaida been Lucas's killer? How was that possible? She thought
"He wont even talk to me to find out the truth of what happened... all he believes is the article Emily gave him" I said into Kimberly's shoulder. She hugged me tighter.
"Give him some time.... he's in shock I think. He hasn't spoken to anyone about it in days. He's pretty torn up about it" Kimberly said softly.
"I know he is! I am to... I didn't want Taylor to know about Lucas.... my family brought me here to make a new start... we even changed our names! All three of us did. I didn't want anyone to know who I was. I didn't know Taylor was related to Lucas.. honestly Kim... I would have told him if I did know..." I said.
"I know.. I know... Emily has become a social outcast because of this.. she hasn't got any friends anywhere. I can't believe she did this" Kimberly replied. I stayed silent. Three day's had passed since the horrible truth about my past came out and I hadn't seen or heard from Taylor... not that I was expecting to. I hadn't spoken a word to anyone about it until now, and I had only told Kimberly because she demanded to know what was going on and why Taylor and I broke up. My parents didn't even know that Taylor dumped me. I told them that we were taking a small break for a few days. "He still loves you Jaida... he told Isaac that himself... but he can't get over the fact that you were responsible for Lucas's death. Taylor still hasn't told his parents.. I think he's afraid to. He doesn't know how they will react. Isaac and Zac know. He had to tell them". That news made me cry harder. I knew that Isaac and Zac would dispise me forever. Both of them had been keeping away from me and now I knew exactly why.
"How could I have lost him so fast? I love him so much and because of that fucking bitch, I lost him. It's not fair! Why do I always lose the people I love?" I asked. Kimberly was quiet. I knew that she wasn't entirely sure how to act around me now, knowing that I had killed her boyfriends cousin but she had also claimed that I was still and always will be, one of her best friends and that she would stick by me, no matter what happened with the Hanson family. Kimberly and I both looked up when we heard someone clear their throat. I was over at Kimberly's house because she was the only one home there and we could talk without being interrupted. I looked away when I saw Isaac standing in the livingroom doorway. He was staring at me with pure contempt and I knew that he was silently questioning Kimberly as to why she was sitting there with her arms around a killer.
"Ike... hi... Jaida and I were just talking about Taylor.... um... I wasn't expecting you to be here for another two hours" Kimberly said, removing her arms from around me.
"Yeah, well I thought I'd come over early... since I thought you were going to be home alone" Isaac said, not moving from the doorway. I stood up.
"Um.. I think I better go." I said. Isaac glared at me as he nodded his head in agreement.
"That would have to be one of the better ideas you've had" He said.
"Isaac!" Kimberly said, sounding angry.
"No... it's alright. He has every right to be angry at me" I said.
"Damn right I do! You killed my cousin and you didn't even have the nerve or the heart to tell your boyfriend about it. He had a right to know about your past Jaida. If you had just told him in the beginning, he would have never gone out with you and he would never have had his heart broken by a murderer" Isaac said bitterly. His words cut into me like a thousand knives. I didn't bother answering him. I walked forward and pushed past him. I could faintly hear Kimberly start to yell at him as I exited her house. I looked up once I was outside. I saw Zac, walking down the sidewalk. He spotted me and stoped walking. I started across Kimberly's yard and went into my own when I heard Zac call out my name. My emotions couldn't take another beating so I ignored him. He tried again.
"Jaida! wait! I don't hate you" He called out. I stoped and turned around, not quite believing his words. He came closer to me and stoped when he was about a meter away. "Honestly... I don't. I know it was an accident. You didn't mean to kill Lucas. He was just as drunk as what you were. Even if he was driving, you both would've still been in that accident. It's an honest mistake. It just looks like I'm the only one out of my brothers who realizes that." He said.
"You believe it was an accident?" I asked, a flicker of hope filled my heart. If Zac believed this, then he could probably convince his brothers of the truth.
"Sure. You know Lucas was a heavy drinker.... I also wasn't as close to Lucas as what Taylor and Isaac were... to him I was just annoying... " Zac said, his voice trailing off.
"How is he?" I asked, refering to Taylor. Zac looked at me
"Not good... he misses you a lot but can't find it in his heart to forgive you yet. He's still angry about Lucas's death and now he has someone to blame for it. It's tearing him up that it is you. He really loves you Jaida. I'd never seen him so happy after he started going out with you."
"Why wont he talk to me? Please ask him to come and talk to me... he needs to hear the truth from me... he needs to know exactly what happened that night. I miss him so much and it's only been three days." I said. I couldn't help it, I began to cry again. Zac, who obviously wasn't sure on what to do, came forward and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and then let go. "I'm sorry... if your brothers see you talking to me you'll get shit for it. I'll- I'll talk to you later" I said as I turned and ran into my house, leaving Zac on the front lawn.
"You really should talk to her" Zane said to Taylor. Taylor was at Zane's house, lying face down on Zane's bed. He had been at Zane's a lot in the past three days and he had poured his heart and soul out to Zane, who had listened and then said the same thing over and over- you should talk to her. Taylor was getting sick of hearing it. He didn't want to talk to her- not yet. He had gone through three stages- Being upset, being angry and now he was just depressed. He felt emotionally drained and numb.
"Stop saying that" Taylor's muffled voice said. Zane sighed and rolled his eys.
"No... you guy's belong together. Man- you know it was an accident! She didn't mean to kill Lucas, but it happened. It was manslaughter- meaning she didn't purposely do it! She has to carry the guilt around with her for the rest of her life. Just seeing you two together, you could tell that you guy's were meant to be". Taylor rolled his head to the side so he could see Zane.
"Where did all that 'you were meant to be' crap come from?" He asked
"It's not crap... it's the truth. You said so yourself that you never felt this way about a chick before". Taylor was quiet. "You still love her don't you". Taylor nodded. He couldn't deny that. There was nothing that would ever make him stop loving her. He had only known her a couple of months but he was crazy about her. He knew that he could take her back. All he had to do was ask for her back.
"You really think I should talk to her?"
"I so do not need to answer that."
"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"
"You know she does. She wants to tell you exactly what happened to her that night. You know she regrets it. She told you that herself" Zane said, hoping that Taylor would finally say yes, he would talk to Jaida. Taylor sighed. He didn't know what to do anymore.
"I don't know.... I don't know if I want to know exactly what happened... all I know is... my girlfriend killed my cousin. That's all I need to know. And how the hell am I going to tell my parents? They don't know yet. Hell, they think I'm at Jaidas now! Isaac and Zac know... I'm going out of my bloody mind!" He said, sitting up.
"Well... if I were you, I'd want to know what happened. About your parents.. I can't help you there... it's up to you what you do.. but do you want them to feel the pain you're feeling now? Cuz if you tell them, thats what will happen." Zane told him.
"I know... so you're saying I shouldn't tell them? What am I saying.. of course I have to tell them!" Taylor rubbed his eyes. All he wanted to do was sleep. He felt so drained. He didn't want to talk about Jaida anymore, but he knew that Zane wouldn't let up until he agreed to talk to Jaida. It had only been three days since the discovery... but to Taylor, it felt like an eternity. It had been three days without Jaida and that killed him. Maybe I should talk to her... let her explain what happened... I don't have to forgive her..it's just so I know what happened so I can explain it to Mom and Dad when I tell them... when am I going to tell them? They should know.. Isaac said I shouldn't go through this alone.. I need the support of my parents... Taylor was boght back to reality when Zane snapped his fingers infront of Taylors face.
"Earth to Tay... man you still with me?" Zane asked.
"Fine..." Taylor said.
"What?"
"I'll talk to her." Taylor mumbled.
"You'll what?" Zane asked.
"I'll talk to her." Taylor repeated, more clearly. Zane smiled.
"Great.. let's go." He said, getting up.
"What?"
"Come on.. we'll go over there now.. she's bound to be home.." Zane said. Taylor looked horrified at the thought of going to Jaidas house.
"No... I don't want to go over there now... bring her over here or something.. I dunno.. I just don't want to go to her house."
"Fine.. we'll go over and bring her back here. That way you two can talk alone." . Taylor shook his head.
"You're so stung up on me talking to her, you can go over and get her. I'll stay here thankyou.". Taylor knew he was beginning to sound childish, but he didn't care. Zane rolled his eyes and picked up his car keys.
"Fine man... I won't be long." He said and walked out. A few seconds later, Taylor heard the sound of Zane's car starting up and backing down the driveway. It was only a 10 minute drive to Jaidas house from Zanes, and Taylor knew that once she found out that he wanted to see her, she wouldn't object. Taylor now had roughly half an hour to prepare himself. He didn't know what his reactions were going to be. Let alone Jaidas.
Chapter Seventeen
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