"Taylor? Honey?.... oh, baby, I'm so sorry" Dianna's heart broke when she saw her son. He was sitting in a cold, plastic chair in the waiting room, completely alone. He had called her only ten minutes ago, his voice was lifeless when he told her that Jaida had died. He had given her the information on which Hospital he was in and he had also asked for her to bring Kimberly. She didn't know. Kimberly had no idea that Jaida was gone, only that she had been in a car accident with Zane. Zane's parents still hadn't been contacted and Taylor had also left a message on their answering machine, telling them that they should get to the Hospital as soon as they heard that message. He hadn't seen Jaidas parents for quite some time. Taylor looked up at his mother. He couldn't remember the last time he had longed for her arms to be around him. To comfort him. Taylors face crumpled and the tears flowed again. Dianna rushed forward and swept her son up in a tight hug. Taylor wept, his heart breaking more with every tear. Kimberly appeared in the doorway. When she saw the scene before her, she knew either Jaida or Zane were dead.. or for all she knew, both of them.
"Taylor?" She asked timmedly. He broke away from his mother and stared at Kimberly with almost apologetic eyes. Taylor didn't want to be the one to tell Kimberly that her best friend was dead, but he knew it was the right thing to do. "Wha.... where are they? ...I mean... they're ok aren't they?" Kimberly asked. Her eyes frantically searched Taylors for the answers to her questions.
"Taylor, honey, I'm going to go find the Robertsons.. I'll leave you and Kimberly to talk."Dianna said, getting up. He nodded and the two of them watched her leave. Kimberly turned to Taylor.
"You haven't answered me yet Tay...." She said, crossing the room and sitting down next to him. "Tay?.." He was staring at the floor, not sure of the words to use. How do you tell someone their best friend is dead?
"I ... ah... Zane is still in surgery... " Taylor told her.
"And Jaida?" . Taylors heart swelled with pain.
"Kim..." He said, tuning to face her. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "Jaida didn't make it..." He choked out. Kimberly shook her head, confused.
"What do you..... oh god.... " She whimpered. She collapesed into Taylors arms and he held her while she cried. "Why?" she asked. Taylor didn't answer. He couldn't answer. He rubbed her back and looked up when he heard footsteps coming towards the door. It was Isaac. Taylor gently nudged Kimberly, letting her know that he was there. She looked over her shoulder and got up when she realised who it was. Isaac's arms folded around Kimberlys small frame, it was as if he wanted to shield her from the pain that he could do nothing to stop. The look on Isaacs face told Taylor that he knew about Jaida. Silent tears were falling from Isaacs eyes. Dianna appeared in the doorway with Jaidas parents. The next few hours went by in a blur for Taylor. He didn't get to say goddbye to her. To tell her he forgave her. He loved Jaida so much and he hated himself for letting something from the past break them up. Something that was dragged out by Emily. It was Emily he would never forgive. Dianna took Taylor home, Isaac went back to Kimberlys as he didn't want to leave her alone. Taylor went straight to his room and locked the door behind him. Dianna was in the living room with Zac, explaining what had happened. Walker was out of town and wouldn't be back until the next day. Taylors heart felt hollow. There was nothing there anymore. No pain, no love, nothing. He stared blankly at the pictures of he and Jaida that were still pinned up on a notice board he had in his room. After the breakup he hadn't the heart to take them down just yet. It was still hard for him to grasp that he would never see her again. He had felft like this before. When Lucas died. Two people he loved were gone. A year apart. The car that hit them had hit Jaidas side. She had no chance of survival. Zane had been out of surgry when Taylor left the hospital. He had a broken leg and a punctured lung. Also a few cuts and brusies here and there.. but he was going to recover. Taylor wasn't able to see Zane before he left, but was going back the next day so he could. Taylor, lying down on his bed, wondered if Zane knew about Jaida yet. Zane would blame it on himself. He was like that. It wouldn't matter that the other guy went through a red light, that Zane was in the right. Taylor was on his back and he stared at his roof. Soon he was asleep. A knock on his bedroom door startled him. He looked at his alarm clock. It was 4am. He got up off of the bed and opened the door.
"Hey... I thought you might be awake still... ok if I come in?" Isaac asked. Taylor nodded and stepped aside to let his brother in.
"Actually I was sleeping.. but I'm wake now so.... did you just get home?"
"Yeah...it took Kim a while to stop crying. Her Mom gave her a sleeping tablet to help her calm down. When she fell asleep..I came home." He explained. Their voices were low as to not wake the rest of the family. Taylor's thoughts turned to his younger siblings. They were already asking why Jaida wasn't around much anymore.. now how was he going to explain this?.. I'll leave that one to Mom... Taylor thought. He was to tired to think about it. Isaac sat down on the edge of Taylors bed and picked at some loose stiching. "How you holding up?" He asked. Taylor shrugged, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.
"Ok I guess..."
"No you're not... "
"Ok.. I'm shit." Taylor said. "I can't think of what went wrong.. why would God take her away from me? I've already lost Lucas..now Jaida? I can't take much more of this Ike.. it's messing me up.. I miss them both so much and I can't bring them back.. and when I think of what I said to Jaida.. I forgive her Ike.. I do.. and I didn't get to tell her that.. she died thinking I hate her when I don't.. I love her... so fucking much and I can't have her anymore.. she's gone... " Taylor said, his voice trailing off. Isaac sniffed.
"You want to know the last thing I said to her was?... that her leaving Kim's place was a good idea... that you never would have gone out with her if you had known she was responsible for Lucas's death. That if she had just told you in the first place, you wouldn't have had your heart broken by a murderer." He said, tears comming to his eyes. Isaac fought to keep them in. He didn't dare look at Taylor. He knew what his reaction would be. Taylor stared at his brother. He didn't have the strenght or emotional stability to yell, rant and rave at Isaac. Insted he simply said
"Get out Ike... go to bed.". Taylor opened the bedroom door and held it while he watched Isaac stand up and wipe his eyes. Without a word he walked out and Taylo heard the soft bang of his door closing. Taylor took a deep breath. He was fuming inside, but he was to tired to let it out. He crossed his room and flopped down on his bed. Taylor spent the next day at the hospital with Kimberly, Isaac and Zac in Zanes room. Taylor refuesed to talk to Isaac. Zane was forever apologizing to Taylor. Saying he didn't see the other car and if he had, he wouldn't have made the turn.
"Hey man... it's not your fault... I don't blame you and I never will... you just concentrate on getting better." Taylor said. He still wasn't sure on whether Zane knew about Jaidas condition and decided not to say anything to him. Taylor spent his day in the hospital, but once he was home he shut himself in his room. He wanted to be alone, but no one understood that and his family kept coming up to his room to 'check up on him'. He was sick of it and was nearly at boiling point.
"Taylor?" A small voice asked from behind him. Taylor was in his room, writing a jornal entry on his computer. The swithched off the screen and turned around.
"Hey Avie... "
"Jaida's not comming here to play anymore is she? Mommy told us that an angel came down and took her up to heaven... is that true Tay?" She asked him, her voice sounded sad to Taylor and it bought tears to his eyes.
"Yeah...it's true... " He said, letting Avery climb up and sit in his lap.
"Why did the angel take her away?... Didn't she like me anymore?". Taylor bit his lip to keep smiling.
"Of course she liked you Avie...she loved you.. you know that... but the angel took her to Heaven because God wanted Jaida up there with him... He wanted Jaida to be one of his angels so she could watch over the people she loved." Taylor explained.
"But couldn't she be an angel here? She came over everyday... she could have watched us from the living room.." Avery reasoned.
"True... but I guess God thought she could do a better job from Heaven..." He said. Avery seemed happy with this, gave Taylor a kiss on the cheek and told him she loved him. "I love you to kiddo..." He replied, giving her a hug. She left the room and Taylor smiled to himself.
"Are you watching over me baby?" He asked. He got no response.
Chapter Nineteen
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