Dawgz Up!

We had to kick the other guard dawg, 'cuz he was just too cute...but this guy don't fool around! Check the following with Trooper at the door:

Attitude. We're all cool in here, so no funny business.
Your mind. We run on the heart here at the DawgHouse, so naturally any amount of logical thinking will do you no good.
Football, Baseball, Soccer, Lacrosse, any sport besides basketball and tennis. My sports, my DawgHouse, I don't wanna see that funny egg-shaped ball in my DawgHouse!
Narrow-mindedness and ignorance. This page has become a lot more dedicated to enlightenment and thought then ever before, so you have to have an open mind or everything in here will go over your head.
If you cannot comply with these, the Guard Dawg will be happy to eat you...you saw what happened to the last kid.
No other problems? Clear? Sweeeeet! Check in.