favorite quotes...

i love movies, and adore movie quotes.. so here goes wit' my favorites.. more are added continuiously

Jay: What's up, baby? What's up, sluts?
Clerks

[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend]
Vanessa: He has a five year plan.
Sonny Koufax: What is it? "Don't die"?
Big Daddy

AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room. Accept no substitutes.
Jackie Brown

Max Reid: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.
Liar Liar

Don't look for a happy ending. It's not an American story. It's an Irish one.
The Devilís Own

Buzz: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great! If anyone attacks we can blink em' to death.
Toy Story

Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. Afghanastan! I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours! I won't talk to my daddy for three hours.
Lethal Weapon 4

[After losing a hockey ball from the roof.]
Dante: Are there any balls down there?
Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!
Clerks

State Trooper: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Mike Donnelly: Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.
State Trooper: SEVEN! SEVEN miles an hour! And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the *shoulder*!
Black Sheep

I have an M.D. from Harvard, I am board certified in cardio-thoracic medicine and trauma surgery, I have been awarded citations from seven different medical boards in New England, and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their wife doesn't miscarry or that their daughter doesn't bleed to death or that their mother doesn't suffer acute neural trama from postoperative shock, who do you think they're praying to? Now, go ahead and read your Bible, Dennis, and you go to your church, and, with any luck, you might win the annual raffle, but if you're looking for God, he was in operating room number two on November 17, and he doesn't like to be second guessed. You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.
Malice

You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.
Austin Powers (duh)

Do you see her face? Girls like that are born with a boyfriend.
Beautiful Girls

Banky: [to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?
Chasin' Amy

I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.
Boogie Nights

Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: "What" ain't no country I know! Do they speak English in "what?"
Brett: What?
Jules: English motherfucker, can you speak it?!?
Pulp Fiction

You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.
Canít Hardly Wait

Searching for a boy in high school is like searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
Clueless

Thatís what I like about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
Dazed and Confused

Driver: Watch out for the weirdos, girls.
Nancy: We are the weirdos, mister.
Craft

People shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love.
Cruel Intentions

Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
Dazed and Confused

Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you!
Dirty Danciní

Note to self: Sex with blow-up doll not as good as advertised.
Dirty Work

I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella, and I haven't one clue how to do it.
My Best Friendís Wedding

When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading Guns -n- Ammo, masturbating in your own feces... do you just stop and go, 'Wow, it is amazing how fucking crazy I really am.'
Se7en

[Jay drives Bethany's car; the motor shrieks]
Bethany Sloane: What gear are you in?
Jay: "Gear"?
Dogma

Vanity is definitely my favorite sin. So basic. Self-love, the all-natural opiate.
Devilís Advocate

Alyssa: For you, to fuck is to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition -- you inside some girl you do, jackhammering away, not noticing that bored look in her eyes.
Banky: Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes.
Chasin' Amy

If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?
Face/Off

Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don't get mad, get everything.
First Wives Club

I'm Henry the 8th I am. Henry the 8th I am I am. I got married to the widow next door. She's been married seven times before.
Ghost

Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
Se7en

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life. But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
Trainspottin'

My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it was, you're lucky to get out alive.
My So-Called Life

Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?
Dogma

Customer: Are either one of these any good? [Randal ignores her.] Sir?
Randal: What?
Customer: Are either one of these any good?
Randal: I don't watch movies.
Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?
Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
Customer: You mean you've haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?
Randal: Nope.
Customer: [Turns around, then shows Randal the same movies] Well, what about these two?
Randal: Oh, they suck.
Customer: These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!
Randal: No, I wasn't.
Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Randal: Your ruse; your cunning attempt to trick me.
Customer: I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying!
Randal: And, I hope it feels good.
Customer: You hope WHAT feels good?
Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Customer: Well, this is the last time I rent here!
Randal: You'll be missed.
Customer: Screw you!
[leaves]
Randal: [runs to the door] Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!
Clerks

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.
Hope Floats

One man's life touches so many others, when he's not there it leaves an awfully big hole.
Itís A Wonderful Life

Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.
Point Break

Shooter McGavin: Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?
Happy Gilmore

She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?
Psycho

Grow up, Heather. Bulimia's so '87!
Heathers

I'm prepared to scour the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.
Pulp Fiction

You think you're hot shit, but you're really just cold diarrhea.
Welcome to the Dollhouse

You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children. It's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
Buffy

Men are like gum anyway -- after you chew they lose their flavor.
Ally McBeal

I'm a lot like my dad: brown hair, flat chest.
While You Were Sleepiní

Can I play too? Or is it just for boys?
Wild Things

I'm a woman. We don't say what we want but we do reserve the right to get pissed off when we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating, and not a little bit scary.
Sliding Doors

Laney, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
Reality Bites

You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny.
Romy and Micheleís High School Reunion

When I got married, I wasn't a virgin. I already had intercourse with eight men. That was a lot back then. That would be like 200 today.
The Wedding Singer

Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth: that when you really look closely? People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me.
My So-Called Life

Brodie: My grandmother always said, "Why buy the cow...when you get the sex for free."
Mallrats

My darling girl, when are you going to understand that "normal" is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.
Practical Magic

[Randal is on the phone when a woman and little girl come to the counter.]
Woman with daughter: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
Randal: Yeah, what're you looking for?
Woman with daughter: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Randal: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?
Woman with daughter: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Daughter: Happy Scrappy...
Woman with Daughter: She loves it.
Randal: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh...yeah...Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?
Clerks

A boy's best friend is his mother.
Psycho

The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that you don't measure up. And that, in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool.
My So-Called Life

If you're going to bury the truth make sure it stays buried.
I Know What You Did Last Summer

When I'm with a boy I like I can't say anything cool, or witty--or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
Buffy

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
Friends

I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.
Seinfield

(cryiní) And I was at Bloomingdale's this morning waiting on line to buy wrinkle cream, and this Jennifer-Love-Michelle-Sarah-Felicity looking thing bumps into me and says, "Excuse me, ma'am."
Will & Grace

I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
Thereís Something About Mary

Now, now, Syd. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative.
Scream

We had sex mommy! The really dirty kind!
Picture Perfect

This life has been a test. If this had been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do.
My So-Called Life

Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, but they become legends.
Legends of the Fall

(readin' from a personal ad) "My daddy used to spank my bare bottom. Now he's gone. Will you take his place?"
Risky Business

Rachel: Guess what, GUESS WHAT?!
Chandler: The fifth dentist finally caved and now they ALL recommend Trident?
Friends

I bet people can actually die of embarrassment. I bet it's been medically proven.
My So-Called Life

Knowing is the easy part; saying it out loud is the hard part.
The Horse Whisperer

I like school. It's just too bad classes get in the way.
Saved By the Bell

I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My mama didn't raise no foo'!
10 Things I Hate About You

They killed my baby. He got involved with that whole east coast-west coast thing, and being that he is from Chicago they BOTH banged on him!
Senseless

What are you going to put on your resume: dumbass?
That 70s Show

Mickey and Mallory know the difference between right and wrong; they just don't give a damn.
Natural Born Killers

Brodie: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat! I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
Mallrats

Tommy: Did you hear I graduated?
Richard: Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right.
Tommy: A lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: Yeah, they're called doctors.
Tommy Boy

Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.
The Breakfast Club

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