July 24, 2012

I agree with our former President George W. Bush. I hate broccoli. Lady Laura loves the stuff so I cannot ban it from the house (like we do with liver). But you'll never get me to eat that ... er ... can't say what I want so let's just call it a plant.

The Prez came close to getting himself in trouble one day on his Official State Visit to Mexico. Seems George W. has the same aversion to broccoli that his father was famous for. When visiting Mexico, he was taken to the ranch of President Fox of Mexico.

Seems only natural to visit a ranch with George W. being from Texas and all. Wouldnít ya just know it? When they got there, it turned out that the "ranch" was a broccoli farm! The Salinas Valley of Mexico, so to speak. Smell of broccoli everywhere.

Astute reporters, wondering if Bush loathed broccoli as much as his dad, just had to ask. Sure enough, he replied with an off the cuff remark about preferring cauliflower. (Once again, I agree with him - I just love cauliflower ... cooked, not raw). Fortunately, international relations survived the incident and so did George W. as far as Iíve heard. Guess he didnít have to eat any, just look at it Ė lots of it!

Now, Laura says she can take broccoli better than cauliflower. According to my dear wife, "cauliflower is so bland you canít even taste it. It doesnít even have any color to it, all bleached white like that." Well, honey, no other part of the cabbage family is really terrific tasting, though. Heck, kids have been hiding broccoli in their milk for ages to avoid having to eat it Ė ever since they found out it was good for them. Maybe thatís why George W. likes cauliflower Ė itís easier to hide in his glass of milk.

Brussels sprouts are good tasting, too. But a lot of people can't stand them. I suspect that those people don't like any part of the cabbage family so we wonít even speak of cabbage unless you are planning to make coleslaw. What is it with this aversion to vegetables? I didnít really realize it, but Iím not much of a veggie person either, I guess. Greens? Yuk! Cooked leaves! Down south they say theyíll eat anything as long as it has enough bacon grease in it. But I wouldnít touch a pot of turnip greens with a 10-foot pole, much less a turnip. Iím just not THAT hungry.

That goes for a lot of the vegetables that people seem to be fond of. I used to belong to a group that had a social dinner every week. Seems the chef was especially proud of his zucchini squash, or maybe he was just cheap. Every week, a big pan of yellow buttered slimy stuff graced the table. I finally just rebelled and refused to try to eat it. If God want me to LIKE that stuff, he wouldnít have made me carnivorous. Iím not even gonna mention okra. What a disgusting vegetable! It even sounds nasty, "ok-raw." So vote me off the show. Who cares?

Starchy vegetables are okay Ė corn, potatoes, beans - especially green beans, my favorite. Starch is a carbohydrate. Itís just sugar that's over the hill. Starchy vegetables are in an entirely different sort of category. They hardly count as vegetables at all in my book, nothing like those super nutritious, vitamin C, and calcium rich, broccoli spears.

Guess winding up on a broccoli farm was sort of a nightmare come true for Bush. Well, I can sympathize to that point. Please donít send me your eggplant casserole recipe that you canít-even-taste the eggplant in. If you canít taste it, then leave it out, for Peteís sake! I donít have a glass of milk big enough to hide something like that in.

Thank goodness, I do like cauliflower, especially the cheese sauce!