June 20, 2012

Anyone who knows me at all can tell you that, while I may not really be accident prone, I certainly have had my share of incidents over the years. Everything from busting the seat out of my britches at Wal-Mart to falling out of my truck at a quarry. From tumbling down a set of stairs to tripping over the dog. Yes - I seen my share of stars. But last night took the cake for doing dumb things.

In the past I've gotten hurt because I was careless, or in a hurry, or I just plain ran out of luck. Last night I hurt myself on a new level. I did it while I was asleep!

I remember that I was dreaming about Lady Laura and I caught her in the act of kissing some young, handsome dude and I didn't like it one bit. I pulled them apart and told the guy to hit the road. He laughed at me and said, "Get lost, old man."

That really made me mad so I did what any normal American male would do under similar circumstances. I hauled back and punched him in the mouth as hard as I could.

Like I said, I was asleep and this was only a dream. What happened next wasn't a dream - I wish it was. While I was dreaming I was physically acting out the motions. When I swung my fist at the guy, I was swinging my fist for real. Somehow I managed to hit the wall above my head and pain shot up my arm.

It didn't take an instant to realize what I had done. I turned on the light fully expecting to see a fist-sized hole in the wall but the wall was intact. I must have hit the wall directly on a stud because there was no evidence that I had hit it. But the pain in my hand told me that I had made solid contact.

At present the knuckles on my right hand are a funny blue/purple/green color and hurt like the dickens. I don't think I broke anything but it's kinda hard to type right now.

So now I have a new problem; if I'm gong to hurt myself while I'm asleep, what in the world am I going to do next? Lady Laura, while holding back her laughter, has suggested that we invest in a king-sized, padded baby crib. Maybe she's right.