May 8, 2012

Lady Laura doesn't get really mad at me very often. Yesterday she did and I have no idea why. When I tried to find out what I did, all I got was "the look"!

Y’all, I need help understanding wimmins. You see, after 42 years of marriage, I’m still confused and searching for enlightenment about women in general and marriage specifically. Try as I might, I cannot figure out the logic that females use.

I can deal with the "I’m having a bad hair day" or "shut-up and listen" or "leave me alone because there are issues to resolve" or "are you still here? Go away." I get one or more of these ‘tudes every once in a while. I guess it could be worse so call me lucky Joe.

But when it gets really bad such as: piercing laser eyes along with: “Joe, you have crossed the line” or “buster, you are one word away from the dog house”. I start looking for an escape route. To be fair, Laura is not like that all the time - I’d say she’s only that way about 00.01% of the time.

Yeah ... Yeah ... I understand that I’m not always prince charming, so she has points. However, please do not tell her I said that because the very last thing I need is hearing her say - “see, Joe, you admit to your short comings!”

This touchy feely thing that women express is difficult to deal with. Why can’t women be more understanding of men and our side of things? After all, we are kind-of, or almost like, or similar to humans.

And men are easy to understand. We shower once or twice a week. We drink down maybe a 12-pack of beer (diet Coke in my case) while watching a NASCAR race or trash TV. We fart several times in a row. We hang out with the family dog and sleep in the same bed with him. We wake up refreshed the next AM and do that routine all over.

Life is good. What’s wrong? What did I do???