March 8, 2012

My most favorite cereal of all time is Cheerios. I have been eating them for as long as I can remember - and for some strange reason I can remember a lot of the things that happened to me starting when I was quite young. One of the things I distinctly remember was that mom often served us kids oatmeal for breakfast - a lot of oatmeal. But, every once in a while she would buy us cold cereal. And that cereal was usually Cheerios.

Sometimes we didn't even have milk but we ate the Cheerios anyway ... they were delicious and they still are. Often, I will grab a box of Cheerios and eat them straight out of the box. That ticks Laura off because she's more civilized than I and always uses a bowl. I don't care; I can eat my Cheerios straight if I want.

Yesterday (Wednesday) Laura went to the grocery store to buy some St. Patty's cupcakes for our monthly senior pot luck dinner at our church which is today. She figured she wouldn't have time to cook because she has a doctor's appointment this morning so she settled on the cupcakes. When she came home she said that she found some delightful miniature cupcakes and she also picked up some cereal.

"What kind?" says I.

"Cheerios. Two boxes."

But the tone of her voice was a little off and I immediately got suspicious.

"You didn't buy those Multigrain Cheerios again, did you?"

"No. And not the Honey Nut kind either."

Good. I like the plain, old-fashioned Cheerios. You know, the one that has been around since before I was born. But I was still suspicious so I went to the kitchen. And there sitting boldly on the counter were the two boxes of Cheerios. I was shocked. They were Chocolate and Banana Nut Cheerios. I had never heard of such a thing. When did they start making THOSE and why did she bring them into our house?

Turns out that she saw them on sale and thought they sounded delicious so she bought them for herself. OK, I'll give her that one. If she wants them - fine. Have a ball with them.

I looked around but I didn't see any regular Cheerios.

"Where's mine?" asked I.

"I didn't get any because there is a box in the cupboard."

But, honey, that box is almost empty.

I went back to my computer and typed 'Cheerios' in the Google search box. I was in for another surprise. You wouldn't believe what I found out that they have done to my beloved Cheerios. They have perverted them in so many ways that I could hardly believe my eyes. Here is a short summary of what I found:

  • Cheerios (first made in 1941)
  • Honey Nut Cheerios (1979)
  • Apple Cinnamon Cheerios (1988)
  • MultiGrain Cheerios (original 1992, relaunched 2009)
  • Frosted Cheerios (1995)
  • Millenios (Cheerios with "2"-shaped cereal pieces) (1999 & 2000)
  • Berry Burst Cheerios (including variations of Strawberry, Strawberry Banana, Cherry Vanilla and Triple Berry) (2003)
  • Yogurt Burst Cheerios (2005)
  • Fruity Cheerios (2006) (Cheerios sweetened with fruit juice)
  • Oat Cluster Crunch Cheerios (2007) (sweetened Cheerios with oat clusters)
  • Banana Nut Cheerios (2009) (sweetened Cheerios made with banana puree)
  • Chocolate Cheerios (2010) (Cheerios made with cocoa)
  • Cinnamon Burst Cheerios (2011) (Cheerios made with cinnamon)
  • Dulce de Leche Cheerios (2012) (sweetened Cheerios made with caramel)
  • MultiGrain Peanut Butter Cheerios (2012) (Multigrain Cheerios with sorghum, not wheat, and peanut butter)
  • And an organic something called Purely O's

Please, Laura, the next time you go to the grocery store, buy me some old-fashioned Cheerios. You can have your odd flavored ones ... but don't expect me to eat them.