February 15, 2012
Yesterday, my friends, was St. Valentineís Day. Sheriff Daniel and I took our wives to a Gourmet Chinese Buffet and, boy, did we ever over eat! After the meal we all went home and took a nap! We had a great time. Instead of lecturing you any more on who the real St. Valentine was (or wasnít) and the sticky end he came to (pun intended because there was a stick involved), Iíve decided to share some of my absolute favorite things about Valentineís Day.
Iíve always loved this holiday and not just because I think itís hilarious how a nasty execution spawned a lovers holiday. I mean, sure, thatís part of it, but I also like other things.
- Chocolate is everywhere. This is never a bad thing. Also, if you eat it on strawberries itís probably good for you.
- Flowers are everywhere. Itís lovely to walk into a store and see Spring when itís definitely Winter outside.
- Valentines are so delightfully corny. In fact, as far as Iím concerned, the cornier the better.
- Teenagers are making out EVERYWHERE and itís really fun to make disapproving faces at them and remark on their lack of modesty. It really makes one feel like a grown-up.
- Loads of people are wearing red and then I can say things like ďDoes your shirt represent the blood of St. Valentine?Ē and make people pretty uncomfortable. Sometimes, playing Joe the Downer can be fun.
- Any reference you make to the St. Valentineís Day Massacre is both unwanted and necessary. History is fun!
- I get to hear Elvis Presley songs all day long on our Oldies station.
- The candy hearts with phrases on them. They say such nice things! It gives my self-esteem a little boost and thatís quite the accomplishment when Iím also concurrently stuffing my face with candy. Well played candy hearts. Well played.
Hope you all had a very Happy Valentineís Day! I love you with my whole aorta!