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Growing Up Memories

Hello der, it is I or Me or, er, ah nevermind. It is Stash Dumpolockski, and I am here to tell you all da great tings dat we went tru growing up as Dumpolockskis. Took me a while to do dis coz I couldn't tink of any. I only kidding. Der be lots of memories. Such as... BATROOM TIME- Ah one of my favrit memories. Now going to dat batroom was really different in our house. Everybody else usually go to batroom, take care of bizznizz and come out feeling bedder. NOT US DER! We go to batroom and play dat wanderful game called "Dis is a plot". You see, it never fail dat when Dumpolockski child had to go, so does Dumpolockski Fodder too. Don't matter where he is at da time, little bell goes off in his head, and POW, he gotta go. So you hunker down wit dat newspaper, he knocking on door. You coulda gone in wit dat fortune cookie and had to much to read wit da time he give you. Den he yells dat "everytime he has to go, someone always in der" Like we planned dis. You don't know how many times I watch him day in and day out, just so I can tell ahead of time when Fodder goes to can, so dat I can beat him to it and get yelled at. Wot fun! Sometimes he even make reference to wot else we doing in der too. Someting about a sump pump. I tink Fodder was out in da sun too long. Dis brings us to anodder great memory, da ever popular TYWAK SCRATCH. Yep, dis as classy as it sounds. Here's wat you need. First, a large picture window. Second, a pair of gotki, usually blue boxers do nicely. You know da kind dat hang well on a flagpole.(ooops, dat annoder story we tell some odder time der) Third, you need Dumpolockski Fodder, who usually has da class of of used bedpan anyway. The way it works is Fodder gets up in dat morning, goes to dat window to see how tings are. BIG picture window. Looks out window, stretches, scratches tywak, turns, walks away scratching tywak. All da time forgedding he wearing only gotki. Now in most places, dis be followed by trucking da offending party away to place where goon babble is standard language, an making tings out of popcycle sticks is everyday routine. But not here. Fodder always wondered why suddenly neighbors started calling him "Flash". Even Stella found dis offensive. Nothing like pot calling da kettle black nie? Well dats all for now der. Don't want to tax dat brain to much. Wot little der, I'd like to keep. Talk to you all soon der, like dat der, dis way dat way, Damn, I can never get out of dis. OH, BY DA WAY... Hope dat you like da new background. Joe, Basia and Me der decided to brighten tings up a bit. Stella not asked because she at home dealing wit dem issues again. Or is it tissues? Oh Gooptas nie? Besides, studying dem TWO syllable words can take it's toll. Makes you so tired, you can't eat, sleep or even drive dat car. See ya all soon der!!!

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