Todd, had he been Johnny on the spot, a grad from LU and the star football star, with Ozie and Harriett as his mom and dad would be Ricky Nelson, not Todd Manning. Having been abandoned as a child by his mother and raised by Monster Manning makes him different than me. He started life with struggles and challenges that I can only fathom. Téa, had she been Susie Golucky, having come from a loving mom and dad, would be Jess instead of Téa. Téa faced struggles and challenges that I could only fathom. Therefore, she's more like Todd than she is like someone like me.

Todd having a base that interchanges love and violence makes him unique, interesting, turmoiled and twisted. As a child he was given/shown violence instead of love. As a young adult, he mistook sex for love. As a man, he thought he had found love with Blair but realized that what he instead had received was emotional violence. Basically, he couldn't catch a break and retreated behind his wall. Téa, too, mistook sex for love and when she wore her heart on her sleeve and took chances, was jilted for the "whiter" Cassie Carpenters of the world. So she too retreated behind her wall, agreeing instead to a deal/marriage of convenience.

I think this is very important to the relationship that is TNT because why wouldn't Todd love Téa almost from the getgo and express and feel this love?

Téa was fantastic and proved her loyalty to Todd over and over and over again. She put Todd and Starr, their relationship and their individual needs before her own. She was terrific to and for him and Starr. Starr was the one thing he loved. Had he been more open of a person, they would have fallen in love sooner, well expressed and felt that love openly, SOONER and therefore would not have had the angst-filled, tumultuous relationship that I fell in love with. Had Téa not been so jilted or hurt and betrayed, she too would have been able to be more open sooner to their relationship also. It's their combined past histories that made them what they were. Had they not had these compelling, twists and turns in their pasts, they would be.....oh let's say.....Bo and Lindsay? Nora and Sam? Viki and Ben? Jess and Will? Cristian and Roho? In otherwords, the boring, snoring, jerk-filled schmucks we now have on our tubes????

I'm not saying that one must relive Todd and Rebecca, Todd and Blair, Téa and Kevin in order to "love and appreciate" TNT. I'm just saying, that for ME, TNT would not have been the "love of MY life" had there not been the revolution that was TNB or TNK...had Blair not rejected/hurt/butchered Todd and Kevin not rejected/hurt/butchered Téa, they just wouldn't have been believeable as the bitter, wall-building, angst-filled yummies that they ended up being for me.

I understood Todd's reluctance to fall for Téa. That "love junk" he went through with Blair did leave him with scars and a KingKong disaster to put back together. She had "shattered" his heart leaving him basically unable to love. With all we now know about Todd's childhood, it's a wonder he ever gave Blair a chance. And with the irrepariable damage she inflicted, ONLY Téa could have gotten through. (I always remember a line from the first "Batman" movie where Vicki Vale asks, "Why couldn't I get through?" And Bruce Wayne swallows deeply and emotion-filled/choked up admits, "You got in!") I always wanted a conversation like this between TNT. For him to give her a hint that she had broken through that *freaking* 50 foot tall wall. The line was probably that one we found in that article while building the FLO site. "If anyone would have gotten in it would have been you, Delgado." Dang it, why'd they have to cut that line?????

The closest we ever got was "Don't you think I would if I could?" To me that phrase spoke volumes. With that one line, to me, he was telling her that if he was capable of love, feeling and emotion, she would BE THE ONE! And to me Andrew was an incredibly necessary evil. To me, Andrew represented that Téa could do whatever she wanted and he would still love her! So TnSyko and TnRJ would fall into the Andrew category. He left her and basically pushed her into this lot in life. Téa's a lot of things, but a "sit around piner" isn't it. She misses him and loves him....that's obvious. But she's never been the type to "go to her cave!" Let's face it...if Todd was around, there would be no TnAnyone.... but HIM!

I love TNT. My obsession is TNT. I appreciate RH's talent and think he's a fabulous actor. I appreciate FL's talent and think she'a a fabulous actress. I even think that RH and FL's chemistry is such, that given the right part, I'd love to watch them act together in something else.

But it's not the same as MY obsession that is TNT. They were once in a lifetime and I have to believe that, they will be again...someday. It's obvious that from all the mail in the mags this past week that others feel the same. I continue to HOPE that JFP will take a weak stab at repairing the damage she has done but let's face it....lots of damage was done. It will take more than just a "Téa went off to find the love of her life Todd" to fix ALL that was done. But it's a good start! A Lord heir would go a longer way with me! LOL...and you can even name him Aiden...but why you'd want to I'll never know! LOL I think OLTL could use a good "Victor" 25 years from now! LOL.

I saw TNT. I got it. I'm one of the LUCKY ones. And if you got it too, you know how I feel. And to me, that's what makes me a TNTer....I got them! They made me feel. And a soap hasn't done that EVER for me...and probably never will again!