That ::points up:: is me, and this ::taps page:: is my bio. If you are here you must be one of my many adoring fans longing to know more about me.....so let's get started, shall we? :-)
My name, as you all may know, is Holly, but you can just call me Hawlie (all my fans do). The only 2 people I associate myself with are Ari and Dani, and everyone else is cut off from us. On a regular day, you can catch us locked in a nice comfy padded cell, with a PC or two in front of us, working diligently on this wonderful website, because we are programmed to do nothing but. We are robots. We are freaks. We are losers. And at the end of the day I am just a simple pathological liar.
Anyhoo....like I was going to say before I went off rambling, have you ever found yourself walking down an old dirt road alone at night when suddenly a crazy man jumped out of the woods and threw ashes in your face? If you have, you can compare me to the ashes....i'll get right up in your face, and I will not leave until you try to wash me away...and even then my presence will still be felt.........you'll remember how I stung and how much you hated having me there.......and you'll never forget my face. I take pride in many people disliking me ya see.....maybe they're jealous that they can't be nasty black soot.....who knows.....
Now seriously folks.....wait....I was being serious, I should've said anyways. ::ahem:: Now, anyways, I'm a unique kinda gal at only 17 years of age, and very aclectic when it comes to most everything. One day I look like a punk, the next day I look like a super model.....it all depends on my mood. When it comes to music i'm just the same. I love all kinds of music.....really...Some call me a schitzo, I call myself unique. Sure I may seem ordinary to an outsider......I stand 5'5" and weigh around 120 pounds.....and I have red hair (which I dye, it's naturally brown) and green eyes and......I guess i'm just your average gal (ok...so i'm gorgeous.....).............but inside I have the mind of a maniac.
It all started when I was about 3 and I was attacked by the monster under my bed. His name was Fred and he had these giant red eyes and long black finger nails and the face of a Jack Nicholson/Lonnie Anderson mix on crack. He gave me "magical pills" that made me fly and see purple pancakes (I later found out it was just LSD)...trippy stuff. But when I was about 6 Fred stopped dragging me under the bed and making me trip..........and he just kinda went away....
Years later, I tried telling my mom about Fred, so she of course assumed I was a nut case and put me into therapy. I was 8. I was fucked up.
In therapy they tried to make me talk about my drug problem...they figured the LSD I had been taking was what made me see Fred, but what they didn't understand was that Fred gave me the LSD.....and I wasn't trippin' then.....I was angry. I eventually gave in to the therapists and listened to them and acted like I got "better" so they would leave me the FUCK alone....but when I was all done......I just felt crazier than I was in the beginning.
At age 10 I met an 85 year old man names Fredrick. He was a nice man, and gave me candy and he would tell me stories about living in the 20's and 30's and all the crazy stuff he used to do.....and how he was the oldest hippy at Woodtsock '69. He blieved me when I told him about Fred, because, he saw Fred too when he was 3. Only his Fred did dirty things to him and made him eat magical mushroom caps. I guess he had :meanfred and not :nicefred......perhaps Fred's psycho twin brother?
Anyways, Fredrick died when I was 12, and that was kind of depressing....and I had no one to talk to anymore....so I started talking to the lint I often found in my belly button, but it never said much, but I did give me the occasional wave or wink.
So I would just sit there, talking to my lint, and the other kids at school hated me. They would call me names like "Lint Lover" and "Belly Button Picker", but I never let it get to me much. They were just jealous because their lint didn't wave back.....
This kid named Johnny would often push me down on the playground and one day he killed the lint which I was holding in my hand, and I just snapped. I popped a few LSD capsules and ripped his nipple right off. You can probably guess what happened next....yup, the nipple became my new best friend. I talked to him alot, but he never said anything back. He just wrinkled up when I would get too close to him. I think he missed Johnny.
When I reached middle school, the nipple dried out and one day my mom mistook it for an old leaf and threw it away. So I was lonely again...until the day I met Barry the Banana.
Barry was a great friend of mine...until the day I ate him when I had the munchies......I was mortified the next day when I realized what I did....but he was really tasty....
I am now a 17 year old schitzophrenic nymphomaniac negrophiliac with a taste for Jack Daniels and fast women..........so pretty much i'm just your average teenager. I still wait for the day Fred comes back........but something inside me tells me he won't........maybe he doesn't like ashes?
Interesting Facts About Hawlie:
That's all for now kiddies.....::smooch, hump, lick::