Real World, NC: Episode 8

::Music::

Holly's voice: This is the story...
Matt's voice: Of 7 weird sawck lovers...
Jeff's voice: NO! NIPPULS AND THEYER ARE 10 OF US NAW!!
Ari's voice: We're 10 strangers...picked to live in a house...
Dani's voice: to find out what happens when I molest Christian
Christian's voice: LORD HELP ME!
Edge's voice: to find oot what happens when we brush our teeth.
Randy's voice: When we sleep w/ all the cast members.
Rob's voice: ::puff puff:: When people stop being polite... ::exhale::
Shannon's voice: and start gittin'...er....what's do awpasit uv palaht?
Holly's voice: and start getting real....
Ari's voice: The Real World...
All: NORTH CAROLINA!

Matt's voice: Preeviuslee awn da reul werld

Rob: "Hello folks...it's ::throws up thumbs:: ROB.....VAN.....DAM!!!!!!!!!"
Holly: "OH....MY......GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ari: "Oh! Holly, can I move into your room, too!!!!!!"

Holly: "NO! NO ONE CAN MOVE IN THERE, OKAY! IT'S MY ROOM! AND RVD'S! NO ONE ELSE CAN EVEN STEP FOOT IN THERE!!!!!!! YOU GOT IT!!! NOOOOO OOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! :sakogreedyhawlie"

Christian: "WHERE IN THE BLUE HELL WERE YOU TWO, EY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :superduperangryjealousquotingtherockchristian"
Dani: "Erm....uh.....we were...uh.......painting Jeff's...hehe...erm...house!"

Jeff: "Cin I mewve bayack tew da hawse?????? :innocentjeff"

Matt: "Rahght, Edge, so nahw, we are givin' peepul da awpertunity tew be abul tew clean thahr teeth. ::pulls out diagrams:: Awllz they gawtta dew is reach down intew thahr payants an' pull awt sum sawks...then they'll unravel a piece of flawss frum da sawk and BAYANG! They cin clean thahr teeth! :superduperproudmatt"

Rob: "Well....I know I'm new here.....and all.......but.......how about we make......other types of socks.......as well......ya know, for those people....who DO have floss on them......why not make........PottySocks! Yeah......"

Rob: "Dude......::puff....exhale::....yeah.....::passes it to Jeff::"
Jeff: "Yep.....::puff:: I agree....::exhale::"
Holly: "Erm....HI, GUYS!!!!!"
Rob: "::looks up at Holly with red eyes:: Yep, we sure are.....::puff::"
Jeff: "Yep......"

Dani: "That stuff is stinky :wrinklingnosedanay"
Holly: "Oh, you're just not used to it....::grabs the blunt from Jeff and takes a puff:: Yeah.........."

Rob: "Dani...dude.....wanna try?"
Dani: "Erm...I dunno guys...."
Rob: "Come on.....it's not bad....Jeff does it......"
Dani: "Oh....okay....::grabs blunt and puts it to her mouth:: There."

Ari: "What the hell was that noise!"
Kristy: "I think it came from in here...."

This week.....

Ari and Kristy ran into the game room and saw Matt and Randy fighting on the pool table!

Matt: Naw! Ahray is mahn yew stoopid sako!!! MAHN!!! AH IS SICK OF YEW AYAND YER BIG BAH SEXYEWUL AYAS!!!!
Ari: ::pulls Matt off of Randy:: WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE????
Randy: That psycho attacked me!!
Matt: Ahray, I cayan't nawt take this no mawr...yew is da luv uv mah lahf, yew is da most beyewtifewl wumun ah hayav ever seen in mah entire lahf ayand ah will dah wif awt yew in mah lahf! :inloveabouttocrymatt
Ari: Awwwww Matt...I...I don't know what to say!
Randy: TELL HIM YOU LOVE ME!!!
Kristy: ::Slaps forehead and looks down at the groud:: Great...Jeff, Rob, Holly and Dani are all high...Randy and Matt are trying to kill each other over Ari, Edge is...erm...flossing, Christian is depressed...hmmm...wonder what Shannon is doing...

Meanwhile: In the backyard

Holly: ::puff puff:: Yeah... ::exhale::
Dani: ::slapping face:: I can't feel my face...hehehe....
RVD: You're stoned ::puff puff:: Yeah... ::exhale::
Jeff: Rawb...ah wud lahk yew tew give me a shawtteh
RVD: One shotty...comin' up! ::Gives Jeff a big ass shot gun:: Yeah...
Jeff: ::falls on ass:: Hahahahhahah nass!
Holly: :stonedandhornyhawlie Hey Robby baby...wanna go and ::ahem:: Put our room to good use? :)
RVD: Ummm....HELL YEAH!!!

Rob grabbed Holly and they both ran inside and into their room...leaving Dani and Jeff outside...

Jeff: Yew is curupted naw ah gess...
Dani: Yeah...::puff puff:: Ummmm... ::stares at roach:: This thing is burning my fingers...ouch! ::Tosses it in the grass::
Jeff: Yew just gawtta...umm...welp :feelingguiltyhighashelljeff Danay ah is glayad we didn't hayave seyex tewday at mah haws!
Dani: You are??!! Don't you...w-want me?
Jeff: Well...yes ah dew...but yew is sooo yung ayand nass ayand...yew shud save it fer da wun yew truly luv ayand da wun yew marray ayand....
Dani: ::sigh:: I think I know who that one is...
Jeff: We awl dew....but....remember yew is so yung, don't nawt jump into nuttin' tew sewn!
Dani: Maybe I should go and see him....
Jeff: Maybe yew shud....but just be nass ayand trah tew get lahk....nawt so stoned before yew tawlk tew...him...
Dani: I think i'll go shower...you gonna be ok out here by yourself?
Jeff: Ah'll be nass....

Meanwhile:

Edge (into camera): This house is psycho, ey! I mean...everyone is fighting or horny, ey! and Rob Van Dam just moved in...and Matt and Randy hate him, and Holly and Dani and Jeff are high w/ him...and well, ey....I just lost my best toothbrush...maybe I should console my brother Christian, ey! He really needs it...or maybe...I should go floss, ey! ::thumbs up::

Dani walked into her and Christian's room...and saw him sitting on his bed...his head in his hands....he raised his head when she entered and she sat next to him...

Dani: Hey...
Christian: Hi, ey...
Dani: I-I have something I need to tell you...
Christian: You did the horizontal "nippul" rub with Jeff, didn't you, ey?
Dani: ::Sigh:: Actually...no...I didn't..
Christian: :intotalshockwideeyedandkindagladchristian Wow, ey! I thought for sure you did...
Dani: Well...Jeff helped me realize something today when we were painting...
Christian: So wait, ey...that was really what you were doing, ey?
Dani: Yeah...I know it sounded...well...unbelieveable and all...and yeah...we kissed...but we also painted his bedroom to match the color of his nipples and... ::Sigh:: Look...he helped me see who I am...Holly and Ari and Kristy are my BEST friends in this entire world...and they all sleep w/ all you guys and drink and do illegal things and...well..but they all lost their innocence waaaay back when...in one way or another...mentally and/or physically...but I still have a bit of mine...and we all love those 3...but if I started acting like them...it would fuck everything up :seriousspeachnowdanay and...this is just how I am...innocent...I love you and you are supposed to run from me but you love me...and that's great...Jay, one of these days I wanna bang your little Canadian brains oot...but for now....can we just be friends? ::smile::
Christian: :sohappychristian YES!! ::grabs Dani and hugs her:: I love you, ey! But....one question...
Dani: Yes?
Christian: Will you still molest me...or attempt...every now and then, ey? :)
Dani: You got it baby! :)

Meanwhile:

Randy: TELL HIM YOU LOVE ME ARI!!
Ari: Ummm....ummm...
Matt: NO! NO! NO MAWR MAHND GAMES YEW SAKO! NO MAWR! DON'T NAWT BE TRAHIN' TEW PUSH YER SAKO THAWTS INTO AHRAY'S HED NO MAWR! NO MAWR! :sayingnomorematt
Ari: Look....Matt...Randy...chill...I-I...
Randy: THREEEEEEEESOOOOOOOME!! :hornyrandy
Matt and Ari: WHA??!??
Randy: Well...we all...umm....
Matt: Yew trahin' tew mulest mah sawks naw lahk yew did tew mah bruther's nippul?????
Randy: N-No..I-I was just-
Matt: YEW BAH SEXYEWUL SAKO! GIT AWAY FRUM ME AYAND AHRAY!
Randy: NO!! SHE'S MINE!!! ::grabs one of Ari's arms::
Matt: ::grabs the other and begins to pull:: MAHN!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, Moxie's voice came on the intercome in the house and she announced a meeting in the living room, everyone stopped what (and who) they were doing and joined her

Matt: So is we gawnna work awn da FlawssaySawks naw?
Edge: YEAH, EY! ::high fives Matt:: This is SO gonna rule all!
Moxie: Yeah...you guys gotta get crackin' on this business...
Rob: Crack? No thanks....strictly pot man ::puff puff:: Yeah... ::exhale::
Jeff: Yew is so sako Rawb!!!
Moxie: Ok people...focus ::clears throat:: Now...in order for this business to be successful...we all have to get some sort of plan in order.
Shannon: We kin take a picsher uv mah ten inchiz ayand ayadvertahz wif thayat :stoopidshannon
Jeff: Yew is a nasteh sako!
Holly: What we need first is some sort of...umm...wait...does anyone here know how to start a business?
Matt: Well, wut we need tew dew is git sum kahnd uv bilding er sumpin' ayand then we kin make a factury ayand hayave swet shawps with under payed immigriyint childrun from Meyexico ayand...
Ari: MATTHEW MOORE HARDY!
Matt: Wut? :stoopidmatt Ah jist wanna git mah FlawssaySawks started!
Dani: A sweat shop is SO not the way... :moraldani
Moxie: Ummmm...interesting ideas guys...however...you have to start the business on your own...just the ten of you...taht means only the ten of you...to advertise....make the...umm... product....etcetera...
Christian: I have a great idea, ey! We make reeeeeally colorful billboards with like...a picture of a tooth inside a sock...and the tooth has eyes and a mouth and a nose and its happy because the sock cleaned it, ey!
::Cricket noises::
Holly: :marketinggeniushawlie I say you boys leave this up to us females...we know what we're doing...
Edge: No way, ey! FlossySocks, inc is SO our idea!
Matt: Wut we need tew rellay start wif is a nass locashun...we need tew bah a buldin' wif a nass awfis ayand a nass place fer makin' sawks uv flawss....then we need tew advertas tew da yewth because they lahk sako things lahk sawks uv flawss :smilingmatt
Moxie: Now Matt has the right idea...We have a pretty nice sized office building in downtown Cameron...here's the address ::sits paper on table:: Meet me and...your new boss there tomorrow at noon.
Holly: There's a downtown Cameron? :confusedhawlie
Randy: A new boss? Where are you going Moxie?
Moxie: No where...just that...I....needed a new partner in crime to help me out with you...ummm...guys....I can't keep everything together by myself...anyways...see you all at noon tomorrow...

The next day...at noon:

Jeff: Wow...this is a nass building...
Matt: Jeffie...yew is dumb..we yewsed tew cum heyer everyday win we wuz smawll...this is where Grayandpaw Harday yewsed tew run his famus cayanday facturee...
Jeff: Nass... :stoopidslowashelljeff
Moxie:: ::opens door:: Step inside everyone...and meet your new boss...

::camera fades to black::