Real World Episode 18

::Music::

Holly's voice: This is the story
Matt's voice: Of 7 weird sawck lovers...
Jeff's voice: NO! NIPPULS AND THEYER ARE 10 OF US NAW!! Erm...ah meen...WE GAWTS LAWTS UV PEEPUL AWL HAYAVIN' ORGAYS IN DA TUB!
Ari's voice: We're 10...er...12 strangers...picked to live in a house...
Dani's voice: to find out what happens when I molest Christian
Christian's voice: LORD HELP ME!
Edge's voice: to find oot what happens when we brush our teeth.
Randy's voice: When we sleep w/ all the cast members.
Shane's voice: When peupul stawp bein' palaht!
Shannon voice: and start gittin'...er....what's do awpasit uv palaht?
Holly's voice: and start getting real....
RVD's voice: Dude....and get high! Yeah....::puff::
Kristy's voice: The Real World...
All: NORTH CAROLINA!

Ari's voice: Last week, on the Real World...

Matt: NAW! NAW! THIYIS AIN'T NAWT RAGHT! AH GAWTTA GIT THIYIS AWT BEFAWR AH GO SAKO!
Randy: ::stands up:: Hey! Get outta here sock boy! :miffedandnakedrandy
Ari: Uhh....:confusedandnakedahray
Matt: AHRAY AH LUV YEW AYAND AH WIYILL NAWT REYEST UNTIYIL YEW IS MAHN AYAND ONLEH MAHN!
Randy: Sleep deprivation will affect your work :smartassrandy

Holly: Do you love Ari?
Randy: Uhh...of course I do...
Holly: ::moves closer:: How much?
Randy: ::gulp::
Holly: ::moves close enough to touch his leg:: Then why would you cheat on her in a split second with me?

Jeff: ::Sigh:: I'm so lonleh...
Shannon: Ah miyis Kristeh...
Jeff: Ah...ah luv....::sagh:: never mahnd...
Shannon: Yew luv whew?
Jeff: Hawlie..
Shannon: =O

Jeff: Hawlie..
Holly: ::turns to face Jeff:: Jeff...
Jeff: Hawlie....kinah teyell yew sumpin'frum da hart?
Holly: Uhh...not from the nipple this time?
Jeff: Naw...thiyis is seriaws....Hawlie...ah luv yew ayand ah wanna be wit' yew....
Holly: =O :totallyinshockhawlie

Ari: That's another thing...the entire house should know that i'm now a single woman...
Randy: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Ari: You heard me...
Randy: Thank you so much for telling me ::runs out::

Holly: Ari! Last night Randy sat there and proclaimed his love for you to me, and this morning he was bawling his eyes out because he loves you SO much...
Ari: =O Oh man..
Holly: Yeah.... hurt him big time...and for no reason..

Holly: :talkingtoherselfhawlie What am I going to do? Randy, Matt, AND Ari working together! They're gonna drive me nuts! And Shane running errands for us while Jeff is around! ::Sigh::
Just then Rob entered her office...
Holly: Rob, should'nt you be working the assembly line?
Rob: Yeah...but like...I just wanted to come and apologize for all this shit that happened between us...::puff puff:: ::Sits on the edge of her desk:: babe..you're like...my angel...and like....I mean..I....wait...what was I gonna say? :confusedrob
Holly: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! ::ripping hair out:: GIMME THAT! ::Snatches blunt:: god dammit Rob...what am I gonna do? Shane and Jeff are gonna kill each other.....but in reality...I don't wanna be with either of them...
Rob: Ya don't? ::puff puff::
Holly: Rob I...I...I LOVE YOU! You're the only man I love!
Rob: Dude...that's so cool...I love you too man...yeeeeah.....

Ari: Both of you idiots just shut up! Please! God! Do you even KNOW what it's like to have 279207302973902 guys fighting over you? Do you know what it's like to truly love one person when you're with another!? And to be torn so much that you just say FUCK IT one day and end up alone!? Do ya!? Huh? No! I didn't think so! ::whips around:: Randy I love you and I am so sorry if I hurt you! Anyone who has a problem with that can just kiss my ass too! I love Randy Orton and I am going to be with him forever! And Holly Loves Rob and ya know what!?!?!? She's gonna be with him! I'M SO SICK OF NOT BEING HAPPY! WHAT ABOUT ME!? WHAT ABOUT ARI?!?!?!? I NEED TO BE HAPPY FOR ONCE! Now everyone just SHUT UP and get back to work! ::throws herself down in her chair::

Jeff's voice: Dis week awn da Reul Nippul Werld!

Just then Moxie and Tazz stormed into the office.

Moxie: What the HELL is going on is here?
Shane: ::points to Ari:: She went sako..
Moxie: Oh that is IT! Everyone get OUT of my sight.....go home....you have the day off....::storms out and throws clip board in the trash::
Tazz: Go tell everyone youz got the day off...i'm so steemin' mad I can't even stand ta look at yaz ::storms out red faced::
Jeff: SEE WUT YEW DIYID NAHW SAKO!? :glaringatshanejeff
Shane: NAW! Iyif yew wusn't so greedeh we wudn't be in naw trubbul!
Ari: Just.....everyone shut up...go get the others...i'm gonna go wait in the van....

One hour later, back at the house:

Moxie and Tazz stood before the group who all gathered on the living room floor.....

Tazz: We have had it about up ta heya witchew crazy people. We've tried ta help ya run a business....but ya just wanna be crazy and have ya orgies in the tubs and stuff at teh mall and make us look like fools! Ya idiots! :steamingtazz Any of you got anything to say?
Moxie: I do............we are done folks......we're done helping you....we have tried and tried and tried.......but you all continue to act out. We figure it would be best if we quit this now.....and you all left the house within the next few days.
Group: =O
Ari: Hold the fuck up! ::stands up:: We may be crazy, but we don't deserve this! We have been busting our asses!
Moxie: Yeah.....busting your asses slacking off during work hours, partying all night, and having sex on the job....it's unacceptible!
Jeff: So we gawtta leave eech uther? :sadnippul
Moxie: Yes....we'll be back in a few days.......be packed and ready to go...........::walks out::
Tazz: ::follows her:: Damn psycho brats :mumblingtazz
Holly: ::sigh:: So this is it....
Rob: ::puff:: This sucks man..yeah...
Matt: Yup...dis iyis iyit...::sagh::
Randy: Only a few days left.....you know what that means...
Shane: OOOORGAY IN DA TUB!
::cricket noises:: Edge: No, ey! It means we need to make the best of the time we have left together and not fight aboot everything, ey!
Shannon: But we iyis gawnna awl see eech uther when we leev enehways :confusedshannon
Kristy: Shut up, Shanny...
Shannon: :scaredshannon
Jeff: So wutchew gahs wanna dew?
Kristy: I'm gonna goto the confessional room..........

Kristy (into camera): ::sniffle:: Only a few days left until we're forced to leave this beautiful house...and still I haven't made Matt love me :sakokristeh but God as my witness.......he will be mine before this is all over.....

Meanwhile:

Dani and Jeff sat down at the kitchen counter and sipped on yoohoos with twisty straws.

Jeff: Thiyis sucks bewteh
Dani: You're tellin' me......I love it here so much :saddani
Jeff: Mah nippuls dew tew........iyits da perfuct teyemperacher!
Dani: ::sigh:: No more Christian every night I guess....
Jeff: Awww.....welp sako, ah aint nawt gawnna be gittin' bewteh either :sadnippul
Dani: I never got any in the first place......
Jeff: YEW GAHS AIN'T NAWT BANGED YEYET!?
Dani: No.....he always mumbles something about jailbait and goes to bed.....
Jeff: Yew know...ah've been thinkin'...Hawlie iyis onleh 16.......ayand we bang thayat sako lawts! So whay cayant' we nawt hayave yew tew!?
Dani: =O
Jeff: :eyebrowjeff wanna?
Dani: JEFFERY NERO HARDY!
Jeff: WUT!?!??!
Dani: :sweetsmiledani I'd love to ;)
Jeff: OH MAWMMA! ::snatches Dani up and runs upstairs with her::

Meanwhile:

Holly (into camera): A few more days left in the house...what to say...what to say.....ah yes...I think i'm finally ready to settle down.....::ahem:: really I am! :tryingtoconvinceherselfhawlie Okay, i'm not.....but I love Rob so much....::puffin' on a blunt:: He's just like me...yeeeah..::exhale::

Meanwhile:

RVD and Edge were outside sitting on the patio

RVD: Duuude...wanna smoke? ::puff::
Edge: Are you crazy, ey! ::points to teeth and shakes head::
RVD: Man, you let those things run everything
Edge: Well, heck yeah, ey! They're my only true loves, ey!
RVD: Duuude...you need to smoke some pot and chill, yeeeah ::puff::
Edge: :temptedandcuriousedge Well...ey....::scratches head::
RVD: Here man...::passes the blunt:: Yeeeah...just suck man.....he....he...
Edge: Okay, ey! ::puff puff:: OMG, EY! ::coogh coogh, ey:: AHH, EY! I'M CHOOKING! ::coogh, ey::
RVD: Yeeeah....cool man....::puff::

Meanwhile:

Jeff: ::throws Dani down on the bed:: THIS IS NASS! :sakohappyhe'sgonnagetsomejeff
Dani: Jeff...
Jeff: WUT!?
Dani: Err....i've never done this before..
Jeff: Theyer's nuttin' tew iyit...jist lay theyer ayand let yer nippul gawd dew awl da werk....
Dani: Well....Jeff...
Jeff: Wut!?!?!??!
Dani: I'm skeered....:\
Jeff: CHIYILL!
Dani: JEFF! Stop being so rude!
Jeff: AH WANT SUM BEWTEH! :actinglikea3yearoldjeff
Dani: ::stands up:: WELL YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT FROM ME! ::Storms out::
Jeff: GAWD DAYUMMIT! WHAY DEW AH ALWAYS GIT LEFT WIT BLEW BAWLS!?!?!? ::sagh::