Real - Sako - World 17 :-P

::Music::

Holly's voice: This is the story
Matt's voice: Of 7 weird sawck lovers...
Jeff's voice: NO! NIPPULS AND THEYER ARE 10 OF US NAW!! Erm...ah meen...WE GAWTS LAWTS UV PEEPUL AWL HAYAVIN' ORGAYS IN DA TUB!
Ari's voice: We're 10...er...12 strangers...picked to live in a house...
Dani's voice: to find out what happens when I molest Christian
Christian's voice: LORD HELP ME!
Edge's voice: to find oot what happens when we brush our teeth.
Randy's voice: When we sleep w/ all the cast members.
Shane's voice: When peupul stawp bein' palaht!
Shannon voice: and start gittin'...er....what's do awpasit uv palaht?
Holly's voice: and start getting real....
RVD's voice: Dude....and get high! Yeah....::puff::
Kristy's voice: The Real World...
All: NORTH CAROLINA!

RVD's voice: Last week, on the reeeeeeefer world man....

Tazz: "alright.....befo' we staht on dis trip, let's lay out some rools, ya heah me? Numbah one...NO FOIGHTIN' or I'll have to kick yo' sorry asses...Numbah two...don' ask stoopid questions :eyeballingjefftazz...and Numbah Tree...just shut da fuck up an' sit there quietly. :turnsbacktotheroadtazz"

Shane: "Weyell, tew mah understayandin'...Kristeh an' Shayannin hayad a big ole faght layast naght...Kristeh sleyept wit' Edge layast night...Edge weyent sako ayafter awr orgay in da tub a few days ago-"
Dani: "You had an orgy with Edge??"

Kristy: "Edge, you're SO NICE to me...you're one of the ONLY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE I CAN TRUST!"
Edge: "Aww, thanks ey! And you reek of superduperhotbabeaucity, ey!"
Matt: ":turnstoshannonmatt Wut hayappined between yew tew?"
Shannon: "I dunno....why don' yew teyell me? :majorattitudeshannon"

Shannon: "SHUT UP YEW RETAINER WHAHRIN' SAKO!"
Shane: "WUT! SHUT YUR MAWTH BEFIR I GO BAYACK THAHR AN' KIYICK YUR AYASS SAKO!"
Moxie: "HEY! THAT'S IT! :putsonthebrakesmoxie OUT OF THE VAN RIGHT NOW!"

Shane: "Er...nah, I don' wanna faght...wutever gave yew thayat idear? :scaredshane"
Shannon: "YEW CHIYICKEN SAKO! CUM AWN! :speersshaneshannon"
Holly: "HEY! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! STOP FIGHTING GUYS! YOU'RE RUINING THIS FOR EVERYBODY!"
Tazz: "Wait, hole' on, I wanna see deese two pretty boyz foight! Come on, kick his ass! Yah!"

Moxie: "Since you guys have been doing a great job so far, we've decided to treat you guys to a movie!"
Tazz: "Yes, an' we're gonna see Harry Potter!"
Jeff: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :extremelyhappyjeff"

Ari: "Holly.....I......remember when you advised us that we should form a nice 3 way relationship?"
Holly: "Yes, and I took my own advice and have a relationship with Shane and Rob. :)"
Ari: "Yeah...well...I...I....I CAN'T HANDLE IT!!!!!!!"

Dani: "Hehe :pounceschristiandani"
Tazz: "Ya...you know what goiys, maybe we shoul-:turnsandseeschristiananddanimakingouttazz OH MY GOD! Er...uh...Jeff...switch seats wiff me..."

Holly: ":whisperinghawlie Matt?"
Matt: "WUT HAWLIE?!" People in the theatre: "SHHHHHHH!"
Holly: "Uh...hey, you seem upset there..."
Matt: "WUT MAKES YEW SAY THAYAT?!" People: "SHHH! SHHH!"
Holly: "Er...I dunno, you just look frustrated there...anything I can help you with?"
Matt: "WEYELP...I MUST ADMIYIT...I'M NAW-"
People: "SHHHHHH! SHUT UP!"
Holly: "Matt...why aren't you whispering?"
Matt: "I IZ WHUSPERIN'!"
Holly: "NO, you're not...anyway...I think I know what you need...:hornyhawlie"
Matt: "Oh? Oh...OH! NASS! :grabshawlieandstickshistonguedownherthroatmatt

Rob: "Holly? Dude, what did my Holly do to you?"
Kristy: "She...she...she made out with Matt in the movie theatre!"
Rob: "WHAT!?!?! DUDE ARE YOU KIDDING WITH ME!?!!? :killedbuzzrob"
Kristy: "No, I'm not :( I wish I was but I saw it with my own eyes..."
Rob: "That bitch! How dare she! Aww Kristy, don't cry :hugskristyrob We'll do something about this...they can't get away with it. :angryashellrob"

Holly: ":O WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!??!!?!!?! :sakoangryhawlie"
Edge: "OH MY GOD EY! KRISTY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS POTHEAD EY?!?!"
Kristy: "Er...uh...uh...Rob?"
RVD: "Dude......relax everyone, we were just screwing around...ya....::puff, puff::..."
Holly: "NUH-UH BITCH! YOU ARE GOING DOWN!"
Kristy: "WHAT! EXCUSE ME, YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH MATT IN THE MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!"
Ari: "WHAT?!??!!? :sakoahray"
Holly: "Ari, you promised you would not get angry!"
Ari: "BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GONNA MAKE OUT WITH MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Holly: "Well you said you can't handle him!!!!"
Kristy: "OH YOU CAN'T HANDLE HIM RIGHT! AHHA! I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LAST! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING GREEDY! GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jeff: "Yew see gahs...ya'll ruined it awll fir us...I iz sooooooooooo hungreh...."
Dani: "Aww poor guy! :(" Christian: "WE HAVE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE EY! :jealouschristian"
Jeff: BUT IT AIN'T NAWT CRAYACKERBARRULL SAKO! :sakoangrycuztheycouldntgotocrackerbarreljeff"

Ari: "Well, I'm going upstairs and to sleep."
Randy: "Ya, good idea babe..."
Matt: "Yeah, gud idea-"
Randy: "No. You got Holly now? RIGHT? Well you go to sleep with her."

Holly: "Er...uh...Matt, that's going to pose a problem."
Matt: "Wut prawlbim?"
Holly: "Well, my current sleeping arangement is pretty..packed. You know...Rob and Shane."
Rob: "Speak for yourself, dude...I'm moving in with Kristy...yeah...:walksofftokristyrob"
Holly: "Oh...okay...well...if you don't mind sharing a room with me and Shane Matt..."
Shane: "NAH! I DON'T WANNA SHAHR WIT' THIYIS SAKO LAHIN' SAKO!"
Matt: "Whah nawt!"
Shane: "Cuz! Yew jist yewse an' ubyewse, yewse an' ubyewse..."
Holly: "Uh...but...Shane..."
Shane: "But nuttin! It's eether ME...or HIYIM."
Holly: "But..eh...but...:confusedhawlie...*sigh* okay Shane...sorry Matt...but, you're going to have to find some other roommate tonight."

Shane's voice: Thiyis week awn da sako orgay filled world uv retainers ayand mah- ::gets punched out by Tazz::
Tazz: Dis week on Da Real Woild....

The house was dead that night, Ari and Randy were doing god-knows-what in their room, Rob and Kristy were tokin' and pokin' in their room, Holly and Shane were fast asleep, Matt and Edge were both wide awake discussing how sako Kristy is, Christian was silently being "molested" willingly by Dani, and Shannon and Jeff were up watching a movie and eating a half-cold pizza in their room......

Ari: ::sighs and turns over on her side to face Randy:: Babe.....:nakedahray
Randy: 'Nother round already? :bigasssmilerandy
Ari: No...I...I just feel so awful right now.....so many people got hurt tonight...
Randy: Chill sweetie...the important thing is that we're together...
Ari: Well I know but...
Randy: Well what is it then?

Suddenly Matt burst into the room, shirtless....

Matt: NAW! NAW! THIYIS AIN'T NAWT RAGHT! AH GAWTTA GIT THIYIS AWT BEFAWR AH GO SAKO!
Randy: ::stands up:: Hey! Get outta here sock boy! :miffedandnakedrandy
Ari: Uhh....:confusedandnakedahray
Matt: AHRAY AH LUV YEW AYAND AH WIYILL NAWT REYEST UNTIYIL YEW IS MAHN AYAND ONLEH MAHN!
Randy: Sleep deprivation will affect your work :smartassrandy
Matt: SHUCHERMAWTH! LISSEN AHRAY! ::sits next to Ari on the bed:: Ah luv yew mawr thayan da burd luvs da skah, mawr thayan da mewn luvs da naght...MAWR THAYAN MAH PAYANTS LUV SAWKS! Ahray...thayat's a hole lawtta luv....
Ari: ::looks over at :pissedrandy:: Uhhh...::looks at Matt:: Ummm....
Randy: Look clown...you're confusing my woman....get out!
Matt: YER WUMUN! WIYILL YEW STAWP TAWLKIN' BAWT HER LAHK SHE IYIS A PEEC UV MEET!?!?!?!? YEW TREET HER LAHK SHIT AYAND AH IYIS SIYICK UV IYIT! YEW YEWSE HER FER BEWTEH AYAND YEW NO IYIT!!!!
Ari: STOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!! ::stands up:: BOTH OF YOU! OUT! NOW! I need to be alone right now....so please.....both of you....out....

Matt and Randy obeyed, but the entire house had now gathered outside the doorway....

Randy: ::closes door:: LOOK WHAT YA DID MAN! :miffedrandy
Matt: ME?!?!? ME!?!?!? YEW IS DA SAKO YEWSIN' HER FER SEYEX!
Kristy: woah, boys, calm down....
Holly: What the hell is this all about?
Randy: Matt's trying to take my woman!
Matt: NAW! YEW TEWK MAH WUMUN!
Holly: Ok, ok...look...uhh...Matt...go cool off, ok sweetie....Randy...come with me...everyone else...try and get some sleep....we have work tomorrow...
Jeff: ::sucking thumb:: This house is sako...yew gahs ayand yer orgays ayand sawks, gawd...a gah's jist trahin' tew git sum zees... ::mumbles as he walks away, in his bunny slippers::
Randy: Where are we going?
Holly: My room...

Holly and Randy made their way down to her room and she had him sit on the bed with her...

Holly: Ok, Randy...listen up...
Randy: What's up, babe? :givinghollytheeyerandy
Holly: Do you love Ari?
Randy: Uhh...of course I do...
Holly: ::moves closer:: How much?
Randy: ::gulp::
Holly: ::moves close enough to touch his leg:: Then why would you cheat on her in a split second with me?
Randy: ::Stands up:: WHA?
Holly: It's written all over your face, Randy! Everytime a female walks by Little Randy stands at attention!
Randy: IM ONLY HUMAN!
Holly: AND ARI'S OOONLY MY BEST FRIEND! So start treating her right! Or someone's gonna do it for you.....
Randy: ::Sits down and sighs:: I guess I do treat her like a piece of meat, huh?
Holly: Yes....
Randy: Tell me something....if she is YOUR best friend....why have you betrayed her so many times?
Holly: Sometimes I let my hormones get the best of me....honestly...you and Shannon are the only guys in the house I have yet to sleep with....
Randy: Dayum...
Holly: Yeah.....I'm the house whore ::fake smile::
Randy: Why?
Holly: Look who's asking me why I sleep around...::laughs::
Randy: I've never cheated on Ari....
Holly: HA!
Randy: Ok, that ONE time....but I was forced....I really do love her with all my heart...she's my little latin princess....
Holly: Then you need to tell her that....but not tonight...let her be alone....before work tomorrow....::sigh:: I need to get some sleep....can you tell Shane to come to bed if you see him?
Randy: ::Stands up:: Sure thing....::exits::

Meanwhile: Jeff sat in his bed, Shannon say in his....

Jeff: ::Sigh:: I'm so lonleh...
Shannon: Ah miyis Kristeh...
Jeff: Ah...ah luv....::sagh:: never mahnd...
Shannon: Yew luv whew?
Jeff: Hawlie..
Shannon: =O
Jeff: BUT THAYAT HURRI-THIEF SHANE IS GREEDEH!
Shannon: Welp....YEW GO DAHWN THEYER RAGHT NAHW AYAND YEW TAKE WUT'S YERS!!
Jeff: ::sagh:: Nuttin' is mahn....ah is always gawnna be lonleh ayand sako...
Shannon: ::Sagh::
Jeff: :sadnippul Ah is gawnna sleep nahw...gud naght...::rolls over and starts snoring, as he sucks his thumb::
Shannon: Naght...::turns out lights::

The next morning:

Holly was in the bathroom putting on her makeup, when Jeff walked in.

Jeff: Hagh, Hawlie...
Holly: Oh, hey sweetie, what's up?
Jeff: Hawlie..
Holly: ::turns to face Jeff:: Jeff...
Jeff: Hawlie....kinah teyell yew sumpin'frum da hart?
Holly: Uhh...not from the nipple this time?
Jeff: Naw...thiyis is seriaws....Hawlie...ah luv yew ayand ah wanna be wit' yew....
Holly: =O :totallyinshockhawlie Uhh...er...Jeff...I....uh...umm...well...I love you too but...I love lots of guys...and...uh...i'mwith Shane..and...uh...uhhh...
Jeff: OH PULEEZ! DA GAH IYIS AWBSEYESSED WIT' ORGAYS IN DA TUB!!
Holly: And you're obsessed with nipples and hair dye and skittles and...::sigh::
Jeff: :angryjeff Theyer's mawr tew me thayan nippuls! Ayand ah is gawnna prewv iyit! ::storms out::
Holly: :confusedhawlie Okie then...::continues putting make-up on::

A few minutes later, Ari had everyone gather in the living room before they letft for work...

Ari: Ok, guys...we all need to behave today...we have to get some work done, or Tazz and Moxie are going to KILL us all...
Matt: ::sagh:: Fahn, Fahn, but dis sako ::motions toward Randy:: better nawt SPEEK a WERD tew me! :glaringatrandymatt
Ari: That's another thing...the entire house shoule know that i'm now a single woman...
Randy: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Ari: You heard me...
Randy: Thank you so much for telling me ::runs out::
Holly: Oh god....Ari...:staringatariindisbeliefehawlie
Ari: What?
Shannon: He luked sako hurt...
Holly: I'd better go console him...::walks out::
Ari: Wait...is Holly....you know...with....Randy? :scaredari
Shane: SHE BETTER NAWT BE!
Jeff: YEAH!
Shane: WUT?!
Jeff: AH LUV HAWLIE!
Shane: SHE IS MAHN!!!!
Jeff: Weyell...nawt fer lawng! ::storms out the front door::
Ari: Ok....everyone....let's get in the vans..we'll have to sort this out later.....someone get Holly and Randy :sighingari
Matt: :confusedmatt Ahray?
Ari: Yeah...?
Matt: Whay diyid yew brake up wit' Randay?
Ari: ::Sigh:: Matt....I can't handle all this right now...I just need to be by myself...::walks out::
Matt: ::shouts:: HAWLIE! RANDAY! We is leevin!!

In the next room:

Holly: ::wipes Randy's tears away:: Honey...it's okay...i'll talk to her ::stands up:: we gott go..be strong...
Randy:: ::sigh:: Yeah...::follows Holly out::

In the vans: Ari didn't ride in the same van as Randy this time, but she did find herself sitting next to Holly...

Ari: Please don't tell me you and Randy are...
Holly: NO! NO! Why would you even think that?
Ari: Well...Matt filled me in that Randy went with you to your room last night, and then this morning..
Holly: Ari! Last night Randy sat there and proclaimed his love for you to me, and this morning he was bawling his eyes out because he loves you SO much...
Ari: =O Oh man..
Holly: Yeah.... hurt him big time...and for no reason..
Ari: Hollz, you don't understand....I can't handl this Randy/Matt shit! They fight non-stop over me!
Holly: Because they're both...hmm..what's the word....OBSESSED with you...
Ari: Obsessed? :scaredahray
Holly: Ok..not obsessed.....but....madly in love..
Ari: See! See! So either way, i'm hurting one or the other...
Holly: Remember that advice I gave you at the mall? You should've listened...
Ari: I did!
Holly: Then you should've.....::Sigh:: I dunno...let's just...goto work, and try and be productive...and take care of all of this tonight...
Ari: Yeah.....oh.....what's the whole thing w/ Jeff being in love with you?
Holly: I dunno...he stormed into my bathroom this morning in his bunny slippers and like...told me thee was more to him than nipples...and he was gonna prove it :confusedhawlie I have no idea what i'm gonna do.....

10 minutes later, at the office...

Moxie: Ok guys, Tazz and I have decided to mix things up a bit...we've decided you all need some supervision. So i'm going to be monitoring the factory area, and Tazz will be monitoring and stopping by your offices every now and then...just to make sure you're WORKING!
Jeff: Aw! Thiyis sux bewteh!
Tazz: Youz are gonna git some woik done taday and we're goinna make shoie of it...
Moxie: And we have also decided to split the teams up...again...so, this week...working on advertising and what-not will ve ::looks at clip board:: Jeff, Holly, Ari, Randy, and Matt who will also be joined by our errand boy Shane :smilingmoxie and in the factory we'll have Rob, Dani, Kristy, Shannon, Edge, and Christian! Have a great day guys....:walkingawaymoxie...

Holly walked to her office and sat down in her chair and sighed...

Holly: :talkingtoherselfhawlie What am I going to do? Randy, Matt, AND Ari working together! They're gonna drive me nuts! And Shane running errands for us while Jeff is around! ::Sigh::

Just then Rob entered her office...

Holly: Rob, should'nt you be working the assembly line?
Rob: Yeah...but like...I just wanted to come and apologize for all this shit that happened between us...::puff puff:: ::Sits on the edge of her desk:: babe..you're like...my angel...and like....I mean..I....wait...what was I gonna say? :confusedrob
Holly: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! ::ripping hair out:: GIMME THAT! ::Snatches blunt:: god dammit Rob...what am I gonna do? Shane and Jeff are gonna kill each other.....but in reality...I don't wanna be with either of them...
Rob: Ya don't? ::puff puff::
Holly: Rob I...I...I LOVE YOU! You're the only man I love!
Rob: Dude...that's so cool...I love you too man...yeeeeah.....
Holly: ::puff puff:: I'm so...CONFUSED!!!

Meanwhile:

Kristy: Where's Rob? We gotta get to work...
Shannon: Ah saw hiyim walkin' intew Hawlie's awffuc...maybe he is showin her hiyis -
Kristy: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? :steamingmadkristy ARGH! DAMN THESE BITCHES ALWAYS TAKING MY MEN!!!! ::angrily turns on the Floss machine::
Edge: Well, ey! We can't concern ourselves with that, ey! We have socks of floss to make!
Christian: Yeah, ey!
Dani: :hornydani Or we could...
Moxie: Hey! Don't even think about it Dani...

Meanwhile:

Ari, Jeff, Matt, and Randy all entered Holly's office...

Jeff: Rawb, wut iyis yew dewin' heer buddeh?
Rob: ::puff: Bud?
Jeff: WHAY IS YEW HEER?
Rob: Oh, oh...umm...dude like, I was just....uhhh....tellin' Holly that like...::rubs head:: I forget man...::puff puff::
Ari: Well...Rob...we need to get to work...so....they're probably all waitin' for ya in the factory.
Rob: Yeah dude....i'll like...see you guys at lunch man...::puff:: :floatsoutoftheofficerob
Randy: ::sits down on the couch at the other end of the room::
Matt: So, is we gawnna work awn a slogan nahw?
Ari: Anyone got any ideas?
Jeff: Hahw abawt "FlawssaySawks...da fayastest flawss arawnd!"
Holly: Hey Jeff...not bad....
Jeff: :blushingjeff Thanx Hawlie
Randy: ::Stands up:: I have an idea...
Ari: ::gulp:: W-What?
Randy: Well...I was thinking maybe "Fresh Breath...Warm Feet...FlossySocks"
Ari: :excitedari I LIKE IT!
Randy: ::sits back down:: Yeah....:sadrandy

Just then Tazz entered the office...

Tazz: How's everyting goin?
Ari: GREAT! Jeff and Randy came up with two really great slogans!
Tazz: Good....I'll just be oiva hea ::sits down across the room::
Ari: ::ahem:: Anyways, umm...Randy I love your idea! And your's too Jeff! I say we use both!
Holly: Both?
Matt: We cayan't nawt yewse bawth!
Ari: Sure we can! We can just alternate! You know...I see lots of companies doing it....they have more than one slogan....:tryingtomakeeveryonehappyari
Randy: Sounds good to me....:sadrandy
Tazz: Damn...i gotta go take a piss....you be good while i'm gone...::walks out holding crotch::

Justthen Shane entered the office..

Shane: No orgay?
::cricket noises::
Holly: Shane...we're working..what do you want?
Shane: Ah iyis da errund gah!
Holly: We don't need any errands ran, hun
Shane: Okie...fahn....AH IYIS JIST HEER TEW PRAWTEYECT YEW FRUM THAYAT SAKO JEYEFF HARDEH!
Jeff: ::Stands up:: WUT!?!?!?
Shane: STAY AWAY FRUM MAH HAWLIE!
Jeff: NAW! SHE IS MAHN! ::grabs one of Holly's arms and pulls::
Shane: MAHN! ::grabs the other and pulls on it::
Jeff: NAWWWW!! ::sako eyes::
Holly: STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!

Everyone stops, Jeff and Shane let Holly go.

Holly: I don't love either of you, okay!?? I love Rob Van Dam god dammit! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! ::runs out of the office crying::
Shane: NAHW LUK WUT YEW DIYID!
Jeff: ME!?!?!??!? YEW IYIS DA SAKO TRAHIN' TEW BE AWL GREEEEDEH!
Ari: Both of you idiots just shut up! Please! God! Do you even KNOW what it's like to have 279207302973902 guys fighting over you? Do you know what it's like to truly love one person when you're with another!? And to be torn so much that you just say FUCK IT one day and end up alone!? Do ya!? Huh? No! I didn't think so! ::whips around:: Randy I love you and I am so sorry if I hurt you! Anyone who has a problem with that can just kiss my ass too! I love Randy Orton and I am going to be with him forever! And Holly Loves Rob and ya know what!?!?!? She's gonna be with him! I'M SO SICK OF NOT BEING HAPPY! WHAT ABOUT ME!? WHAT ABOUT ARI?!?!?!? I NEED TO BE HAPPY FOR ONCE! Now everyone just SHUT UP and get back to work! ::throws herself down in her chair::
Shane: Okie....so...no orgay in da tub? :-\

::Screen fades to black::