Real World, NC Episode 12

::Music::

Holly's voice: This is the story
Matt's voice: Of 7 weird sawck lovers...
Jeff's voice: NO! NIPPULS AND THEYER ARE 10 OF US NAW!!
Ari's voice: We're 10 strangers...picked to live in a house...
Dani's voice: to find out what happens when I molest Christian
Christian's voice: LORD HELP ME!
Edge's voice: to find oot what happens when we brush our teeth.
Randy's voice: When we sleep w/ all the cast members.
Shane: When peupul stawp bein' palaht!
Shannon: and start gittin'...er....what's do awpasit uv palaht?
Holly's voice: and start getting real....
RVD's voice: Dude....and get high! Yeah....::puff::
Ari's voice: The Real World...
All: NORTH CAROLINA!

Jeff's voice: Previulee awn da Nippul Wurld!! hehe...

Ari: "Rob...take the pot out of the mold!"
Rob: "Dude......why? I'm telling you...yeah, PottySocks will be bigger than FlossySocks. Yeah....."

Holly: "Hey guys, we're going to take our...hehe....break now...so, don't come looking for us in the two hours! :hornyhawlie"
Jeff: "Yeah! I is gawnna git sum Hawlie boo-"
Holly: "ERM! ERM! Bye folks! :dragsjeffandrunsouttheofficehawlie"

Holly: "IT WAS ALL ARI'S IDEA, I SWEAR! SHE FORCED US TO DO IT! SHE-SHE...SHE'S EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :totallyrattingariouthawlie"
Jeff: "Hmpth...thayat wuz nawt nass of her! Whah wud she dew thayat tew me?! I hayave bin so nass tew her awll thiyis tahme....whah? WHAH?!?! :devastatedjeff"
Hawlie: "Aww Jeff...I'm so sorry if you were hurt by this...but...can I just say you looked dead sexy up there? NAKED?"

Shane: "Hagh--OH MAH GAWD! OH MAH GAWD! WUT IS YEW TEW DEWIN'!"
Holly: "Holy shit...not YOU...ughz, don't you know how to knock?! GOD!"
Jeff: "Shane, yew is inturuptin' us...."
Shane: "Ya'll ain't nawt supposed tew be dewin' thiyis awn work grawnds!"
Holly: "Shane, shut up! :angryhawlie"
Shane: "I IZ TEYELLIN'! :turnstoleaveandtelltazzshane"
Holly: "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shane: "Weyell theyen.....I won't teyell, but onleh under one cundishun...:evilshane"
Holly: "Ughz, you guys and your 'one conditions'. What?"
Shane: "IF YEW LEYET ME JOYN IN!!!!!!!!!"

Matt: "WUT! WUT IS YEW TRAHIN' TEW SAY SAKO!"
RVD: "I'm saying...I see you trying to get at Ari..."
Matt: I-I ain't nawt! I hayave no clew as tew wut yew is talkin' bawt! "

Matt: "Weyell....fahne! Fahne! I luv her! Lawts! An' she is wit' thayat sako pervert Randay! I dunno wut she sees in hiyim! I iz nass! He ain't nawt! :sadmatt"

RVD: "Dude......for Matt to have Ari.....:dopeysmilervd"
Matt: "Yew dew!!! :spittingfrenchfriesalloverthetablematt"
RVD: "Ya....listen....later on, right...I'm gonna seduce Ari-"
Matt: "WUT! NAH! YEW AIN'T NAWT LAYIN' A HAYAND AWN HER PURTY HEYAD! NAH! NAH! :superdeeduperangrymatt"
RVD: "Dude......relax......you're killing me buzz.....anyway......I'm not REALLY gonna seduce her......no.......but, it'll look like I am...yeah...and Randy is gonna walk in on us and THINK that she's fooling around with me behind his back.......yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :superduperproudofhishighselfrob"

Dani clicks on the link: http://www.angelfire.com/wrestling/ari/FlossySocks.jpg
Dani: "Whoa! That's great!"
Kristy: "Yeah! I love it!"
Ari: "And you guys can go on and use it as if it were yours..don't need to credit me.....Tazz might get upset if he finds out I did it....."

Shane: "Hagh, Ahray! Bah Ahray :walksawaywhistlingshane"
Ari: "No.....she didn't..."
Ari walks in and find Jeff buckling up his pants.
Ari: "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! DON'T TELL ME YOU AND SHANE......:scaredahray"
Jeff: "Oh.....DON'T YEW EVIN TALK TEW ME, YEW SAKO BIATCH! :stormsoutoftheofficejeff"
Ari: ":inuttershockahray What the...:confusedahray" Ari: "HOLLY TOLD JEFF THAT IS WAS MY IDEA TO FLOUR HIM AGAINST THE VOLCANO!"
Rob: "But.....it was....yeah......."
Ari: "I know, but he didn't need to find out! Holly has betrayed my trust AGAIN! AGAIN! I don't understand Rob! :burstingintotearsahray"
Rob: "Awww man...dude....don't cry...come here :hugsahraytohimrob"

Edge: "Randy, look!"
Randy: "Hey......HEY!!!!!!!!! ARI WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :superduperjealousrandy"
Matt: "NOOOOOOOO! RANDAY DON' BILEEV WUT YEW IZ SEEING!!!!"

Matt: "IT'S AWLL ROB VAYAN DAYUM'S FAWLT!!!!!!!!! HE HAYAD THIYIS SAKO IDEAR TEW SEDEWCE AHRAY AN' MAKE RANDAY CATCH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randy: "WHAT! WTF! :angryatrvdrandy"
Ari: "Rob! Why would you DO such a thing?! :dramaticahray"
RVD: "Dude....I was just doing it for Matt's sake....so that Randy would dump you and he can have you all to himself.....yeah......."

Ari: "I can't believe this! I live with a bunch of two faced hypocrites!!!!! :runsoutoftheroomcryingahray"

RVD: "That's PottySocks, Tazz.....yeah...."
Tazz: "Potty..Socks?"
RVD: "Yeah.......:)"

Moxie: "Hey, anything interesting happen today?"
Tazz: "Oh.....oh boy! Wuz there ever any excitement today!"

Dani: "Guys, look at what Ari did for us!"
Everyone looks at the computer and sees Ari's creation.
Christian: "See! Now THAT is perfect! A sock, and a hand pulling away the floss! Now, why didn't we think of that!"
Shannon: "But...mah teyen inches wud hayave luked nasser!"

Tazz: "Whoa...wow...ya know, that is a GREAT Ad! Wow! Did ya do this yourself?"
Dani: "WHY.....YEEEEEEES I DID :bigcheesysmiledani"
Tazz: "Why it's about toime someone did something PRODUCTIVE around here!!! I'm givin' ya a raise!"
Dani: ":totallymarkingoutdani"
Christian: ":shakinghisheadatdanichristian"

RVD's voice: ::puff puff:: Tonight...on the Reeeeeeal World... ::exhale::

That night, at the house:

Ari (in the camera): ::sniffle:: I can NOT believe the people I live with...they're all...all...two faced liars! :cryingahray

Holly decided she needed to call a house meeting...she had everyone, including Tazz and Moxie, gather out back by the pool.

Tazz: I know Hoilly cawled yewz heya...but I gawtz sumthin' tah say... ::sigh:: I ayam vereh disappointed in all of yewz...duz anyone have anyting ta say?
Holly: ::stands in front of the group, next to Tazz:: I think we....we all messed up majorly today, and most of us have, in some way, hurt a friend of ours... ::turns to Ari:: Ari...I don't want us to fight...AGAIN...
Ari: ::stands up and gets nose to nose w/ Holly:: You ratted me out...
Jeff: YEW AIN'T NAWT NASS AHRAY! YEW TAHD ME UP AYAND YEW GAWTS AWL SMEYELLIN' LAHK A BAKERY! AH WUZ STIYIFF AYAND MAH NIPPULS WERE COLD!
Ari: ::points to Jeff:: See..see...Jeff hates me because...because...BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID BITCH!
Everyone: ::GASP::
Holly: :intotalshockhawlie WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!
Matt: ::raises hand:: Ah think Ahray jist said yew wuz a stewpid biatch....
Holly: :extremelypissedandreadytokillsomeonehawlie You...you guys are outrageous! I...
::suddenly Shane enters the backyard::
Shane: Weyell..ah is shawked....no orgay in da tub...jist a nass.....haws meetin?
Moxie: ::approaches Shane:: Shane..you're not welcome here....we're having a serious meeting....
Shane: Naw....see, ah think ah need tew jist cleur sumpin' up....
Holly, Moxie, Ari, and Tazz: WHAT?!
Jeff: Thayat yew mulested mah nippuls!?
Shane: Naw....ah jist wantid tew say thayat ah is sawrreh fer awlways breakin' up da orgays....ah fawnd awt tewday in Hawlies awffice thayat they is nass!
Tazz: Now don't yewz even TELL me that you gois had an orgy durin' woik hours!! :eyeballingjeffandhawlieandshanetazz
Holly: Well...erm...y'see...what has happened was...
Tazz: I am utterly disguisted wit' dis whole house! ::storms out::
Moxie: Now see what you guys did....I think you should all resolve your problems amongst yourselves...tomorrow's Friday, and if you're not all...atleast civil tomorrow....don't bother coming into work! ::walks out as well::
Ari: ::sits back down in her chair:: Well Holly...good goin'...
Holly: ME!? ME!? What about Edge and Matt and Rob!!??!! Hell...they were trying to split you and Randy apart....
Randy: ::stand up next to Holly:: YEAH!
Matt: Naw...naw...ah didn't nawt! Ah tawld Rawb tew nawt dew thayat but diyid he lissin? NAW! :extremelyfrustratedmatt
Dani: And..and...what about the rest of you guys....not working!
Christian: :scoffingchristian Oh please Dani, ey...YOU SO TOOK ALL CREDIT FOR THAT LOGO ARI MADE, EY!
Dani: But she told me I could...
Christian: YOU GOT A RAISE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN DESERVE IT, EY! ::Stands up and gets in Dani's face::
Ari: Woah, woah...what the hell is goin' on here? :confusedahray
Holly: It appears i'm not the one you guys need to blame all your problems on...i'm outta here...i'll be in my room if you need me... :stormsouthawlie
RVD: ::puff puff:: I'm gonna go...see if I can help...yeah... ::walks away as well::
Shane: ::looks around at everyone:: So, no orgay in da tub!? :stupidshane

In Holly and Rob's room:

Holly: ::Sits down on the bed:: This...this is too much...
RVD: ::puff puff:: Holly...don't sweat it, yeah...dude...it's gonna be ok...everyone will work it out soon... ::exhale::
Holly: But what if we don't? What if Ari hates us all forever? :stressedouthawlie
RVD: Take it from me.. ::points to self:: Rob Van Dam...that eeeeeverything will be oooook...yeah....
Holly: How do you manage to be so calm all the time? Like last night when we all went psycho...you were so...so calm! And now...he house is falling apart from the inside...and you...you're smiling and smokin' a blunt...::laughs:: You sure are somethin'...
RVD: ::smiles:: Yeah...you know...you're kinda sexy when you're all...stressed out and...on the verge of a mental break down...yeah...::puff puff:: Wanna smoke?
Holly: Umm...sure...
RVD: Yeah... ::passes to Holly::
Holly: ::puff puff:: Hey Rob...anyone ever tell you you're kinda sexy when you're all smoked out and high....?
RVD: Damn...everyday....yeah...

Everyone had split up and went to various places in the house. Ari and Randy were talking in the game room, Kristy and Shannon were shacked up in her room, Christian and Dani were refusing to talk to each other, Edge and Matt were trying to figure something out, Shane was lurking somewhere...and Jeff was in the confession room...

Jeff (into camera): Thiyis haws is to sako raht nahw! Evreh wun is sako, Shane is lahk...here sumwhere...ah think...and Hawlie and Rawb is prawbublee bayangin' raht abawt nahw. Gawd...ah meen, it awl started win dem sakos flawred me, ayand den awl dis shiat hayad tew go down...

::Scenes of Jeff being tortured and floured::

Jeff's voice (as scenes are shown): Ah don't nawt know wut is gawnna hayappun... ::Sagh:: ::Jeff is shown:: Onleh tahm wiyill teyell...

Meanwhile, in the game room:

Ari: ::sits down on the pool table:: This is crazy...everyone has turned against me..
Randy: Chiiiil babe ::rubs her shoulders:: Look....I may hate that Matt guy, but I really don't think he had a hand in this...and, Holly...she meant well....she just wanted to bang...you DID tell Dani to take credit for the logo, and Rob was just trying to help out his friend....and Jeff...well...Jeff's just mad because...he was tied to his volcanoe all night... :logicalrandy
Ari: ::smiling:: Aww...Babe, that was...so...so...NOT YOU! I mean...maybe you're right..we all do have to get along, or this whole project is screwed...maybe I should just...I dunno...talk to everyone...
Randy: Yeah.... :hornyevilrandy Buuuut first... ::wink::
Ari: Randy....not now.. ::gets up and walks away::

Meanwhile:

Kristy: ::puts clothes back on:: I feel kinda guilty...
Shannon: Whay?
Kristy: We just banged...while all this maddness is going on...I mean...we really need to try and get everyone back together
Shannon: Welp...mah teyen i-
Kristy: WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PENIS SIZE ALREADY!!?? Jesus....we've all seen it... :sakokristeh
Shannon: ::puts hand over crotch:: Fahn..ah won't nawt tawlk abawt mah nass crawtch raht naw....but ummm...wut shud we dew tew trah ayand heyelp?
Kristy: Well...I think everyone needs to apologize to Ari, regardless of what we did or what they did....it needs to be done...and then we all need to try and make it up to MOxie and Tazz...they seem REALLY pissed off...
Shannon: Ayand we needs tew wurk mawr...ayand nawt hayave seyex awn da flawss masheen...
Kristy: We didn't....
Shannon: Yeyet... ::wink::

Meanwhile:

Ari decided to call everyone back for the days second meeting, so they all met in the living room.

Holly: Here to put it all off on me, again? :pissedoffhawlie
Ari: No...listen... ::pacing in front of the group:: I wanted to call you all here to apologize for blowing up like that....but...I also think you all owe me an apology...I mean...we all made HUGE mistakes today...and last night, and we all will continue to...but we need to push that aside and get on with what's important...our love for each other...and our job...
Jeff: ::sagh:: Wut yew diyid tew me was nawt nass Ahray..but, ah reulahz thayat...thayat yew gahs jist wantid tew hayave a gud tahm, ayand in yer sako heds...torcherin' mah nippuls was fun...so...yew is fergiven ayand yes...ah apawlagahz fer bein' meen tew yew.....
Holly: And Ari...girl, ::Stands up:: You are my BEST friend in this world - well, besides the morning after pill - but..never mind that. Look...what i'm trying to say is that I love you and I don't want us to fight over something stupid like this ever again....and i'm sorry for putting all the blame off on you...after all ::Snickers:: I did pour the oil...
RVD: ::puff puff:: Yeah...and Ari, i'm sorry...for uh....ummm...whatever I did...yeah... :stonedoutofhismindrob
Ari: ::Sniffle:: awww...you guys ::hugs Holly, Jeff, and Rob::
Matt: Ah think we is awl sawrreh...
Dani: Yeah...and I ummm...we can all tell Tazz tomorrow who REALLY designed that logo...
Edge: Yeah, ey....we're real sorry!
Shane: ::Stands up:: EVRE WUN TEW DA TUB! OOOORGAY!!!!
::Cricket noises::
Shane: Wut? Ah was jist trahin' tew lahtin da mewd! ::big ass grin::
Christian: Wait a minute, ey....since when have you been back in the house?
Shane: Umm...welp...Mawksie ayand ah gawt tew tawlkin' tewday ayand...
Holly: AND....??
Shane: Ayand she said thayat it wud be ok fer me tew cum bayack, seein' ayas haw Kristeh sleeps in Shannon's beyed...so ah cud sleep in sum wun's bed tew!
Randy: Well you ca -
Ari: ::elbows him in the stomach:: No..we erm...use both of our beds ::ahem::
Shane: Well...haw abawt yew Hawlie? ::turns to Holly::
Holly: Well..I room with Rob now...ummm...Edge is with Matt...Dani is with Christian....Shannon sleeps with Kristy, and Jeff is in there too...you know about Ari and Randy....so ummm...ummm....I guess you could like have a sleeping bag on the floor...
Shane: AH CUD?? :excitedshane Nass...

An hour later:

All the girls were sitting up in Ari's room giggling...

Ari: Man...These have been a couple fucked up days! ::laughs::
Holly: Tell me about it...flouring and torturing Jeff...a THREESOME with Jeff and Shane - which he insists on calling an orgy - and then all the maddness between us...
Dani: Now there's some major tension between Christian and I too...I wonder what his deal is..
Ari: He loves you...
Kristy: Yeah....and he wants you now and well...you're kinda not treating him like you used to...
Dani: So what should I do?
Holly: Molest him tonight before bed...and we'll make sure we all walk in on you and make a big scene.. ::smiling:: LIKE OLD TIMES! ::Holly and Dani high five::
Dani: ::stands up:: I gotta go get some duct tape! ::runs out giggling::
Ari: ::slaps forehead:: Holly..do you think this is a good idea?
Holly: WHAT!? Of course it is! Look...it might just get our house back to normal..
Kristy: This house? Normal? Yeah...right... ::laughs::

That night, before Christian went to bed....

Dani hopped on top of him in his bed.

Dani: Hi :evilsmiledani
Christian: Hi..ey ::gulp::
Dani: ::pins his arms down:: Miss me?
Christian: Should I say yes, ey?
Dani: :hornyevildani Maybe...
Christian: Ummm....is that door closed, ey?
Dani: Why?
Christian: Someone might see us, ey!
Dani: So :D
Christian: WELL EY!!! THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING, EY!
Dani: ::gets up:: Wait a second..why aren't you fighting me off?
Dani: NO! ::leaps on him:: I WANNA SEE DEM NIPPLES!!! ::attempts to rip off his shirt::
Christian: NO! NOT MY NIPPLES, EY!

Just then Jeff was walking by.

Jeff: ::peaks head in door:: Diyid sum wun say n- OH MAH GAWD! CHRISCHUN IS TRAHIN' TEW HAYAVE SEXYEX WIT' DANAY AGIN!!! EVEREH WUN LUK!! LUK! :jumpingupanddownandpointingjeff
Shane: ::runs over:: ORGAY IN DA TUB!!
Holly: ::Steps in doorway: Well...well...well...looks lke somethings never change...
Christian (from underneath Dani): IT ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, EY!
Dani: YES IT IS!

Soon, the entire house was in Dani's and Christian's room gathered around the bed

Matt: This is truleh sick..truleh...truleh sick... :shakingheadmatt
Christian: ::stands up:: SHE WAS MOLESTING ME, EY!
Holly: OH LIKE YOU DIDN'T WANT IT CHRISTIAN!
Edge: YEAH, EY! YOU EVEN ADMITED TO LOVING HER, EY!
Shane: Whay don't we awl hayave a nass orgay in da tub ayand cawlm dahwn?
::cricket noises::
Ari: Look...guys...I'm sure it was just an innoc- ::Holly elbows Ari in the stomach::
Holly: No...no...Christian wanted it....didn't he? ::glaring at Christian::
Christian: SHE MOLESTED ME, EY!
RVD: Well...yeah...she did...I believe you.... ::puff puff::
Jeff: Yew dew? ::Shakes head:: tew much pawt....
RVD: ::puff puff:: Yeah... ::exhale:: Why we givin' my man such a hard time anyways? Come on guys...how many of us have honestly never thought about takin' Dani out on a date....to a movie...back to the -
Jeff:: WELL AH NEVER! RAWB! Wut is yew trahin' tew say? :guiltyjeff
RVD: N-nothin' duuuude...
Ari: I have an idea....we all get some sleep..and talk about this before work tomorrow..sound good?
Randy: :hornyrandy Beeeeed.....
Ari: I'm sleeping alone tonight Randy... :evilahray
Randy: WHY?
Ari: I'm tired...and...and...I have...something on my mind ::glances at Matt::

20 minutes later:

Ari creaped into Matt's room and shook him awake...

Ari: ::whispering:: Matt...can I talk to you...downstairs?
Matt: :shockedmatt Welp...erm..yup...

They walked downstairs and into the living room and took seats on the couch...

Matt: Wut's up yew?
Ari: Matt...I...
Matt: Wut? :excitedmatt
Ari: I...I can't stop thinking about today...
Matt: ::Sagh:: Yeah...me tew...ah feul awful...Ahray ah wud never dew enehthang tew hurt yew..yew are ayas preshus ayas gold tew me...
Ari: ::sniffle:: That's what I mean..Matt...you'd do anything for me..and i've been so careless with your emotions...and Randy...Randy's just a piece of ass to me...he..he treats me just the same I guess...god he's so horny all the time...
Shane: ::walks out into the living room from Holly's and RVD's room:: Orgy in da tub?
Ari: Shane...we're having a serious convo...
Shane: Welp...i'll go start with awt yew theyen :D ::runs outside::
Ari: Anyways...what I'm trying to say is...Matt...I..
Matt: Ari..before yew say enehthang...leyet me jist say thayat-
Ari: I LOVE YOU!
Matt: :shockedtotallyexcitedandinlovewithahraymatt YEW WUT??? Oh..oh mah...thiyis is...g...great!! ::picks up Ari and hugs her::
Ari: So...ummm..
Matt: Don't nawt feul weyerd arawnd me nahw Ahray...ah don't nawt baht..unless yew ayask me tew :D :rubbingarisfacematt Yew is da most beeeeeutiful wumun awn da earth Ahray...ah luv yew... ::kisses Ari::

The next morning:

Matt (into camera): Ah is so amazinglee hayappeh raght nahw...Ahray fahnullee came tew her seyensuz ayand we kiyissed layast naght...she is mah evrehthang....we don't nawt no wut we iz gawnna say tew Randeh yeyet...but ah dew no thayat ah wiyill nawt let enehwun take mah priyincess away frum me nahw....

The group all got ready for work and piled into the vans...things were weird between Ari and Randy, she didn't know what to say to him..

Randy: I missed you last night babe ::puts his arm around Ari::
Ari: ::Staring at Matt who is driving and has no idea whats going on:: Ummm....::gives Randy his arm back::
Randy: :shockedrandy Babe, what's wrong with you?
Ari: We shouldn't discuss this now...we have to have a normal day of work today...

A few hours later Ari was sitting in her office, when Matt came in...

Matt: Hey babeh...hahw is yew? ::Sits on edge of desk and rubs Ari's cheek::
Ari: :smilingari Hi baby...I umm...
Matt: Is yew ok?
Ari: Well...yes and no..I...I don't know what to say to Randy..
Matt: TEYELL HIM YEW FAWND YER SAWK IN DA SUN!
Ari: Seriously Matt...I don't wanna hurt him..
Matt: Welp...
Ari: Maybe we should just keep this down until..
MAtt: Until wut?
Ari: Until I can find a way to break it to him...
Matt: :sadmatt Well Ahray ah d...
Ari: What is it hun?
Matt: ::fake smile:: Nuttin'...evrehthang is fahn hunneh...

::screen fades to black::