The Real World, North Carolina

::Music::

Holly's voice: This is the story
Matt's voice: Of 7 weird sawck lovers...
Jeff's voice: NO! NIPPULS AND THEYER ARE 10 OF US NAW!!
Ari's voice: We're 10 strangers...picked to live in a house...
Dani's voice: to find out what happens when I molest Christian
Christian's voice: LORD HELP ME!
Edge's voice: to find oot what happens when we brush our teeth.
Randy's voice: When we sleep w/ all the cast members.
Shane: When peupul stawp bein' palaht!
Shannon: and start gittin'...er....what's do awpasit uv palaht?
Holly's voice: and start getting real....
Ari's voice: The Real World...
All: NORTH CAROLINA!

Previously, on the Real World:

"Jeff: Duz this meen yew gawtta goto jayel?
Matt: Yew PEDAFAHL!"

"Randy (into camera): Man...this has been one weird day....first Kristy comes over w/ pie...then Matt and I get into that accident....and then we walk in on Dani molesting Christian ::big smile:: I liked that :hornyrandy They all think i'm gay....but i'm not...I LOVE CHICKS MAN! Just because I spanked Matt Hardy....and made a simple commentt about Jeff....jesus... ::storms out::"

"Shannon: Thiyis hawse is nuts!
Shane: Teyel me about it! I just wantid tew git me sum! Naw we gawts bah-sexual men runnin' arawnd ayand Dani is mulestin' Christian, ayand car axidents, and lawtsa cawndums!"

"Holly: You guys wanna take a swim? Everyone else is outside already :)
Shane: Yew gunna be wearin' thayat?
Holly: Maybe less...if you two come... ::strolls out shaking ass::"

"Randy: NO! NO! I AM 100% STRAIGHT...I guess...I just told Ari that if Jeff wanted to join in I wouldn't be opposed and she blew it out of proportion."

"Shannon: HEY! WHO WANTS TO SEE MAH 10 INCHES???
::Cricket noises::
Shannon: :embarassedshannon
Edge: I have an idea, ey! WE CAN ALL SHARE TOOTHBRUSH STORIES!
Matt: STUFF SAWCKS!
Jeff: PLAY W/ MAH NIPPULS!!!!"

"Ari (into camera): I think Holly is gonna try and steal Randy from me...UGH! That's it...she wants Randy...i'm takin' Shane! :evilahray"

THIS WEEK: It was the morning after and no one was up but Holly and Randy, they are sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee....

Randy: So..you guys all think i'm gay, huh?
Holly: well....I mean...we thought you were like kinda FREEEEAKAY, and then you were screwing Ari, so I mean no....but then you wanted Jeff and you spanked Matt...
Randy: Can't a guy just wanna get a little...erm...I mean...no...no....I didn't "want" Jeff....I did want...I di...I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!
Holly: ::touches Randy's cheek:: So....how about you proove it to me.. :evilhornyhawlie
Randy: erm...well....SURE!!!!! COME OOOOON BABAY!!!! ::picks up Holly::

Suddenly Shane entered the room...naked....

Shane: Hawlie is y....HEY YEW SAKO PUT MAH WOMAN DAWN NAW!!!!!!!!!
Randy: ::drops Holly:: YOU'RE WOMAN? IS YOUR NAME ON HER ASS FOOL???
Holly: Actually... ::biting lip::
Shane: YES YEW SAKO NAW LEEV HER ALONE OR AH WILL GET SUPER SAKO GREEN LANTER SAKO ON YER NEKKED HORNY AYASS!!!!
Holly: Not this Green Lantern shit again.... ::slaps forhead:: Shane...go put some clothes on....shower...and....calm down dammit!!

Meanwhile:

Ari was in her room talking to Kristy.

Kristy: No way...no way would sh ever try to take your man....
Ari: Yes way! She is such a skanky bitch!
Kristy: :shockedkristeh OH NO YOU DIDN'T! I thought Holly was your girl...
Ari: Yeah...we'll let her think that...until I get her man and she gets her payback....

Meanwhile: Edge was flossing in the bathroom when Dani walked in....

Dani: Edge...I have a problem....
Edge: Plaque build up, ey?
Dani: No...listen.....Christian is like majorly avoiding me....
Edge: Well you did tie him up, ey!
Dani: Is it soooo wrong that I want to be loved? ::sniffles:: I NEEDED SOME FUCKING ACTION!!
::Edge drops his toothbrush::
Edge: Did you just curse, ey? THAT CAUSE GINGIVITIS!!!
Dani: Here's the deal....I'll buy you the new Cybersonic toothbrush and an extra head and tongue cleaner if you help me..
Edge: Ok, ey! Let me know what to do....

Meanwhile:

Jeff was checking out his nipples in the mirror when Randy and Holly came in....

Jeff: Hey Hawlie... :scaredjeff and yew sako bahsexual freak!
Holly: Now Jeff...be nice...we need a favor...Randy needs to prove to everyone that he is not gay...
Randy: yeah dude....and we need your help....
Jeff: Haw kin ah help? Ahm just a rahnbow hayered kid from da stix!
Holly: ::biting lower lip:: You have to hit on Randy so he can deny you and everyone will know he's straight...
Jeff: YEW SAKO!!! HEYELL NAW!!! I AIN'T NAWT TUCHING DAYAT FREAK!!!! THEN EVERYONE WILL THINK AHM DA BAHSEXUAL SAKO!!!! UH-UH!!! NOOOOO WAY!!! ::crosses arms over chest::

Meanwhile:

Christian (into camera): I am like so totally scared right now, ey! Dani has tried to molest me already and Randy is like SO totally bisexual! Since i'm like, the total hottie of the house...he may come after me next....god I hope not! ::long pause:: Ari is up to something...she's been scheming all morning in her room....lots of tension between her and Holly, ey! CAT FIGHT!!! ::high fives Edge as he enters confessional room::

Edge (into camera, next to Christian): Hi, ey! Dani is like such a total sweetie, ey! She is so being so nice to me, ey! I think she likes me...

Christian: ::jealous look:: No way, ey! SHE LOVES ME!!

Meanwhile:

Holly: Jeffie please just give us a chance!
Jeff: I ain'tnawt helping a bahsexual nippul mulester!
Randy: I am no gay! or bisexual! See ::grabs Holly and kisses her::

Just then Ari and Shane entered the room.

Ari: WHAT THE FUCK??? YOU PSYCHO MOTHER FUCKING BIAAAAATCH!!!!
Shane: YEW SAKO!!!! GIT AWF MAH WOMAN NAW!!!!
Holly: ::gasp:: No..wait...this isn't what it looks like.
Jeff: So it ain't nawt kissin? What is it? :confusedjeff
Randy: Look...ladies...there's enough of me to go around....
Ari: OH NO BITCH!!!! WE'RE GONNA THROW DOWN IN THIS MUTHA FUCKA! :ghettoahray

Just then The doorbell rang.

Jeff: I'll git it! ::opens door:: Hi mawksie!
Moxie: Hey guys...i'm Moxie...and I am here to introduce you to your business for the next few months....

10 minutes later:

Everyone was gathered in a circle in the living room listening intensly....

Moxie: and Kristy we have decided to make you a permanant member of the house....so....you guys have 10 days to make up a business and get it started....somewhat....i'll be seeing you all later ::winks at Matt::
Jeff: So kin we sell nippuls?
Moxie: Sell whatever Jeffie...i'm outta here....

They all sat there brainstorming for a very long time when Edge and Matt both blurted out things.

Matt: Sawcks!
Edge: TOOTHBRUSHES!
Matt: SAWCKFLAWSS!!
Edge: Toothsocks! er...
Matt: Sawckpaste!
Holly: Er....
Christian: We can sell me, ey!
Dani: That's it!
Ari: What?
Dani: FLOSS-SOCKS!!!
Edge: Sounds great, ey!
Matt: :happymatt Nass!
Holly: What are Flosssocks?
Dani: Socks made of dental floss!
Matt: Kin ya stuff 'em!?
Dani: I am a genius.... ::rubs chin:: We shall call ourselves.... FLOSSYSOCKS!

::screen fades to black::