The Real World, North Carolina

::Music::

Holly's voice: This is the story
Matt's voice: Of 7 weird sawck lovers...
Jeff's voice: NO! NIPPULS AND THEYER ARE 10 OF US NAW!!
Ari's voice: We're 10 strangers...picked to live in a house...
Dani's voice: to find out what happens when I molest Christian
Christian's voice: LORD HELP ME!
Edge's voice: to find oot what happens when we brush our teeth.
Randy's voice: When we sleep w/ all the cast members.
Shane: When peupul stawp bein' palaht!
Shannon: and start gittin'...er....what's do awpasit uv palaht?
Holly's voice: and start getting real....
Ari's voice: The Real World...
All: NORTH CAROLINA!

Previously, on the Real World:

"Ari (in a back room): "I don't know...I'm not happy....I thought this was going to be....::sniffle:: so cool...but...::chokes up:: I was wrong ::sobs::"

"Kristy: Hi everyone! It's me, Kristy! I'm your neighbor! I just brought you a little pie to make you all feel at home!"

"Jeff: "WUT DIYID YEW SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RANDAY WANTS TEW HAYAVE A MAYNASHAYTWAH WIT' ME AN' AHRAY!!!!!!!!!!!"
Edge: "Uh...."
Shannon: "Eh..."
Kristy: "Er....."
Jeff: "Wut da.....::shivers and runs::"

"Matt (grabbing the steering wheel): "WUT! SHE WANTS JEYEFF!!!!"
Randy: "Dude, what are you doing, are you psycho!!!!!!!!"

"Jeff (into the camera): "I dunno....I.....this ain't nawt kewl...Mayatt's unhappeh becuz Ahray don' want him.....and Randay wants to git me in beyed an' molest mah nippuls...I mean, I know thayat I gawt sum sexay nippuls...but they is reserved fir da chiyicks!!!! I dunno...but, I'm gawnna hayave tew tawk tew hiyim 'bout it....::storms out of the camera room::"

"Ari: "Matt and....and R-Randy got in...in a car.....accident.....:superduperdramaticari"

"Randy: "Hey now, that's what I'm talking about.....:hornyrandy"
Dani: "Uh...hi guys!"

THIS WEEK...

Ari: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING??
Christian: SHE FORCED ME, EY!
Dani: ::climbs off Christian:: NO! HE WAS ALLL WILLING! :evildani
Randy: HEY! CAN I JOIN?
All: Ummmm.....
Holly: DANI! YOU'RE....YOU'RE....JAILBAIT!
Dani: ::smiling:: I know...
Christian: Will someone untie me, ey??
::Edge unties Christian::
Christian: Thanks, ey!
Jeff: Duz this meen yew gawtta goto jayel?
Matt: Yew PEDAFAHL!
Ari: Ok! Ok! No one is going to jail..let's just all go get ourselves together...it's been a rough day....

They all exit the room and goto various places in the house.

In the Kitchen w/ Kristy, Holly, and Ari:

Holly: So much for innocent Dani!
Ari: I KNOW! DID YOU SEE THEM! HAHA!!
Kristy: WHERE DID SHE LEARN THAT?
Ari: OH COME ON! She's at all the parties....
Holly: Yeah...if I had a penny for everytime she walked in on me and Shane... :evilhawlie
Kristy: I guess...anyways...you guys wanna go and take a dip in the pool...it's a beautiful night!
Jeff: ::runs into the kitcen:: Kin I hang out w/ yew gahs?
Holly: SURE! Just don't...er...let's go swim...
Ari: NAKED?
Kristy: Yeah...we don't have our suits on
Holly: We'll all meet out by the pool in 5 :)

Meanwhile:

Randy (into camera): Man...this has been one weird day....first Kristy comes over w/ pie...then Matt and I get into that accident....and then we walk in on Dani molesting Christian ::big smile:: I liked that :hornyrandy They all think i'm gay....but i'm not...I LOVE CHICKS MAN! Just because I spanked Matt Hardy....and made a simple commentt about Jeff....jesus... ::storms out::

Meanwhile:

Shane and Shannon are hanging out in the living room

Shannon: Thiyis hawse is nuts!
Shane: Teyel me about it! I just wantid tew git me sum! Naw we gawts bah-sexual men runnin' arawnd ayand Dani is mulestin' Christian, ayand car axidents, and lawtsa cawndums!

Holly enters the room in her black bikini

Holly: You guys wanna take a swim? Everyone else is outside already :)
Shane: Yew gunna be wearin' thayat?
Holly: Maybe less...if you two come... ::strolls out shaking ass::

Poolside: All 11 (including neighbor Kristy) are hanging by and around the huge pool area!

Randy: ::stands up:: THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO SAY!
Jeff: If it's about mulestin' mah nippuls...Ah don't wanna heer!
Randy: It's about me spanking Matt...I know you're all heard about it....
Jeff: YEW WHAT? :jealousjeff
Randy: Yeah...before we came here to this house...and I know you all think i'm gay now...
Jeff: BUT DON'T YEW WANT MAH NIPPULS????!!!
Ari: Good lord!
Holly: :evilhawlie I don't know about you...but this excites me...
Randy: But i'm not gay...I'm just..
Kristy: CURIOUS?
Randy: NO! NO! I AM 100% STRAIGHT...I guess...I just told Ari that if Jeff wanted to join in I wouldn't be opposed and she blew it out of proportion.
Holly: Hey..If she doesn't want to...I WILL!! :evilhawlie
Shane: YEW WHAT? YEW IS WIF ME! RANDAY YEW LEEV MAH HAWLIE ALONE!
Shannon: HEY! WHO WANTS TO SEE MAH 10 INCHES???
::Cricket noises::
Shannon: :embarassedshannon
Edge: I have an idea, ey! WE CAN ALL SHARE TOOTHBRUSH STORIES!
Matt: STUFF SAWCKS!
Jeff: PLAY W/ MAH NIPPULS!!!!
Holly: WAAAAIIIT!!!! How about we all just calm down and have a good time...I don't know about you guys....but I could go for a beer..
Ari: Wanna go get 'em w/ me Holly?
Holly: SURE! Everyone...behave while we're gone...

In the kitchen: Holly: God...This has been one odd day...
Ari: Tell Me about it! Hey...do you think Randy is...y'know...like 'that'?
Holly: Ummm...there's no sure way to tell..I mean i could just... :evilhawlie
Ari: :shockedahray I think I need to go to the confession room ::runs out::

Ari (into camera): I think Holly is gonna try and steal Randy from me...UGH! That's it...she wants Randy...i'm takin' Shane! :evilahray

::Screen fades to black::