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( 1 ) how to get pregnant..for those that think they can't First..you have to have sex in the moonlight...Then, immediately after ..kick a dog and knock 3 times on your grandfathers head, or vise versa..kick your grandfather and knock 3 times on a dogs head ( your choice, of corse), then...(pay attention here people) stand on one foot..twisting your left ear counter-clockwise while singing the national anthem, then last ..run around your yard 3 times naked, yelling "Cucumbers!". ....If that doesn't work...Just pray really hard...tell God that you hope you never EVER want to have children...You'll be pregnant in no time :)

......well lets see, I roasted a pig, licked a Toads head and did 3 summersaults backwards, flew over the moon on a broom, and ate a bowl of spaghetti with my toes, :) all in all an avearge day I would say :)