Here are some of the questions and criticism I received shortly after putting this page online. I decided to respond to them publicly for everyone's benefit.

Q: "Sailor Pheonix Zeo 7" writes:
Um, I'm sorry, but I'm still confused. Where does it say it's okay to be a gay and a christian in the Bible? And what Bible reference were you using? NIV, NKJV, HG, NLSB, TLM, what? I would like to know.....

A: First of all, Sailor, let me thank you for taking the initiative to ask questions.  Very few people are willing to do that, and I appreciate it when someone who disagrees with me makes the effort to ask a question instead of simply arguing or leaving without comment.  I'll try to answer you the best I can, but if you don't feel I've answered your question, please feel free to ask again or explain where you disagree.

I'll answer your last question first.  Personally, I use the New International Version (NIV), and that's what I quote from most of the time.  For the sake of Bible study, though, I like to cross-reference passages in both King James and New American Standard Versions, as well as in my interlinear Greek-English New Testament.  I recommend using multiple versions, since no translation can perfectly capture all the meanings and senses of the original Greek and Hebrew texts.  (A really great place to compare translations and search for passages is the Bible Gateway.)

You asked where the Bible says it's okay to be both gay and Christian.  Explicitly, it doesn't say that anywhere.  But there are many, many issues in our lives where the Bible does not directly tell us that something is okay or that something is not okay.  If the Bible doesn't directly say, "this is okay," then that doesn't automatically mean it's wrong.  On the other hand, just because it doesn't directly say that it's wrong doesn't make it automatically right either.  In cases like that, we can look for general biblical principles for similar situations, and those principles can help us decide about a particular situation that isn't specifically mentioned.

In this case, the Bible doesn't specifically mention "being gay" because neither the Greeks nor the Hebrews had a word for "gay" or "straight."  They simply didn't classify people that way.  They did have words to describe a person who has sexual relations with members of the same sex, but that is not what I mean by "gay."  I use the word "gay" to describe a person's attractions, whether or not they have sex.  The Ancient Greeks, on the other hand, weren't very concerned with people's attractions.  Only a few Greek writers even seemed to notice that some people are solely attracted to their own sex, and it wasn't something they had a word for.

The Bible does mention homosexuality several times, but in every case, it's referring to sexual behavior, not sexual attraction or "being gay."  (The NIV tries to make this distinction by using the words "homosexual offender" instead of just "homosexual," but a lot of people don't realize that there is a difference.)  If you believe, as I assume you do, that homosexual behavior is inherently sinful, wouldn't that therefore make homosexual feelings a temptation to sin?  If you define "being gay" as "having homosexual attractions," and if you define "homosexual attractions" as a temptation, then the answer to your question is clear.  All Christians are tempted, and even though our temptations are different, they are not sins unless we give in to them.  If you look at it this way, then you could say that I have a special temptation, one that could be with me all my life, but on the other hand, I don't have to face the temptations that a heterosexual guy has to face.

Now, perhaps what you meant to ask was whether I think the Bible justifies homosexual behavior, but that's a different question.  I haven't addressed that at all so far on this site, though I might in the future.  Right now I'm more focused on reaching out to people on both sides of that question and looking for things we can all agree on.

Hope this helps!

--Justin

Q: Jerome writes:
Your thoughts about asparagus are entertaining - but how are they relevant to sexual orientation? If we object to racism, we are offended by Christians who ask colored people to pray to God to make them white. Skin color is genetic, but racism is taught. As Christians we must be offended by those who attempt to change sexual orientation by so called "therapy". There is not one proven successful conversion and the American Psychiatric Association says "The potential risks of 'reparative therapy' are great, including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior".

A: Jerome, thanks for your thoughts.  This page has been pretty boring with only Sailor Phoenix's bit up at the top.  :-)

For those who haven't read the whole site, let me explain.  Jerome is referring to my essay on "Asparagus and Sexuality," where I compared sexual orientation to a like or dislike for any given food -- in this case, asparagus.  Sometimes our tastes in food change over time, and sometimes they don't.  You can't force a person (including yourself) to start liking a food that they just don't like, but you also can't assume that a person's tastes will be the same throughout his or her lifetime.

I wrote that essay to find a point of common ground between those who claim orientation can change and those who claim it can't.  But as you pointed out, Jerome, it's a simplistic analogy.  I wanted to make the point that it doesn't have to be just black or white -- change or no change.  I was not implying that changing one's orientation ought to be a goal, or that asking someone to try to change would be as harmless as asking someone to try a new food.  There are many more complex issues involved.

As you said, there are a number of organizations that exist to help gay people become straight.  Opinions are sharply divided on the question of whether this is in fact possible.  I have talked to people who say, "Yes, I used to be gay and now I'm straight," and I've talked to people who say, "I wasn't able to become straight even after many years of trying."  I could write a whole essay just about the ex-gay controversy, but that doesn't really answer you.  In fact, whether or not ex-gay ministries can make people straight is somewhat irrelevant to your point.  The central issue is this:  It is a very bad idea to put pressure on a gay person to try to become straight.  I definitely agree with you about that.

Now obviously, since you believe that orientation change is impossible (or if you believed that it just happens -- kind of like changing your taste in food -- regardless of whether you want it to happen or not), then you'll agree that it's a bad idea to pressure people into becoming straight.  After all, if it's not possible, then added pressure can only make life more miserable for those people.  But what about those who believe that people can become straight through prayer and/or effort?  Well, my answer to them is this.  Out of all the ex-gay stories I've read, I can't think of a single person who says they successfully pursued change after being pressured into it by a friend or family member.  In every case, the decision to pursue that kind of change came from within -- say, because of a disenchantment with the type of life they were living or something like that.  Even the leaders of ex-gay ministries themselves will tell you that they don't support pressuring gay people into becoming straight.  Many of them will turn you away if you don't have the right motivations.  So yes, Jerome, when a Christian says, "You should pray to become straight," I think that's wrong.

I think you're trying to get at something else with your criticism though -- something more than just not pressuring gay people.  Perhaps you would say something like this:  "Suppose the gay person himself or herself does have an internal motivation to change.  If a black person was unhappy being black and wanted to change his skin color, we wouldn't support that, would we?  We'd try to change the society that made him feel that way.  Why should we support allowing gay people to try to change themselves instead of trying to change the society, when we know what psychological damage can result from failed attempts to become straight?"

And if that's what you're getting at, you have a very good point.  Just as it's a bad idea to pressure people into pursuing orientation change, it's also a bad idea to blindly accept their willingness to do so without questioning the implicit pressures (in society, in the church, in the family, etc.) that are guiding them.

Let's say a young man comes to me and says, "Justin, I'm gay but I don't want to be.  Is there a way for me to change?"  My first response is going to be asking him why he doesn't want to be gay.  It's an important thing to know.  If his reasoning isn't very solid, then he'll need to re-examine his reasoning before anything else.  And ultimately, my policy is to make sure people have all the information to make an educated decision.  That young man needs to know that being gay isn't a sin, that there is a lot of debate about the place of gay people in the church, that some gay people are celibate, that some gay people are monogamous, and so on.  He should know that ex-gay ministries do exist and there are people who say they've become straight, and he should also know about the controversies and problems ex-gay ministries have had in the past.  And if that young man is allowed to get a balanced picture of the issue from different sources, then he can pray about it and make his own decision.  I can't make it for him, and neither can you or his parents or the American Psychiatric Association or anyone else.  And that is why, Jerome, I wrote that bit about asparagus.  I want to give people the whole picture -- not just "the liberal gay agenda" or "the conservative Christian agenda" but an understanding of where different people are coming from and why.

I hope this makes my position clearer to you.  I'm certainly willing to field more questions or criticism from you in the future.  Thanks again for your thoughts!

--Justin

Q: Derek writes:
I think that your accusations are very ridiculous-you cannot be gay-as i am-and christian-those are two different ideas. You seem to be trying to please your parents so much that you have tried to interwine your sexuality and your religion. Let God go and trust in yourself, the real strentgh will come from this.

A: This kind of comment really saddens me.  Unfortunately, this is the result of the type of misunderstandings about homosexuality that are still being preached by so many Christians.  People like Derek hear Christians say that gays can't be Christians, and they take it to heart.

Derek, I don't know if you'll ever come back and read this, but I want you to know that no matter what you may have heard, God does not condemn us for being gay.  There is not a conflict between being gay and being Christian, and even many of the most mainstream Christian leaders -- such as the Pope -- have acknowledged this.  It's our modern Western soundbite culture that has gotten things so confused.

My faith doesn't come from my parents.  Yes, I was raised a Christian, but at the point in my life when I began questioning things, I realized that I had a choice to walk away from Christianity or to pursue it.  I decided that I wanted the truth, no matter how hard it would be for me.  And I've become convinced that the Christian faith -- even though it has been twisted and abused so often over the centuries -- does hold the ultimate truth about us and our world.  You see, it's not something I could just choose not to believe, because it is what I really believe to be the truth.

You suggest trusting in myself, but can any of us really trust in ourselves completely?  We know better.  We're all fallible beings, and we can't survive on our own.  We trust each other, we trust books, we trust science, we trust our cars, we trust our computers, etc., etc.  There is so little we really know from experience, and yet somehow we've been conditioned to assume that our textbooks are trustworthy when they speak of atoms and quarks, but our Bibles are not trustworthy when they speak of God.  A sentence like that almost sounds silly; when I re-read it, part of me wants to say, "Well of course the textbooks are trustworthy -- it's scientific!"  But you know, I've had no personal experiences that showed me the existence of atoms.  I simply accept them because I believe in my teachers, who in turn have accepted them because they believe the books they read or the teachers who taught them.  I have had personal experiences with God, but I can't prove to you that they really happened or that God really exists.  Ultimately, you know, there's very little that can be proven to you if you're only willing to "trust in yourself."

If you ever do come back and read this, let me know.  I'd love to chat with you about what you believe and why you believe it.

--Justin

Q: Mike writes:
My prayers are deeply with those who would dare consider it to be the will of a perfect and loving creator to go against his commands or in any way violate his ordinances set throughout the Holy Bible as well as nature. One would be very nearsighted to believe in an instant that the God who created male and female and set this as an "example" for us to follow would dare allow us to deviate from that "example" without suffering the consequences. "Romans Chapter 1" *KJV* Many times throughout the Old and New Testament we read of God's examples for couples to follow and not once do we even remotely arrive at an example of God "blessing" a Homosexual union. Is it because it was simply ommited? Or maybe we'd be gullible enough to accept that it was just overlooked or slightly frowned upon? Not so.... God made it clear in his word that those who do such things will reap their rewards both here and at judgement. Some may say I am being narrowminded or hypocritical or maybe even intollerant. Well "Blessed are they when men shall revile you and persecute you and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake" My hope rests in the creator of the universe and his ability to rescue me from sin and bondage. Only through his Grace can any be saved. But we are not to use Grace or Liberty as an occasion to the flesh for once we are set free from bondage we should not once again entagle ourselfves in the sin we were once enslaved to. In conclusion, Jesus came to "seek and save that which was lost" once we have accepted his plan of salvation we are not to be like the world. We are to be DIFFERENT. A CHRISTIAN by definition will uphold to the highest standards not because they have to but because through Christ we are a NEW CREATION and don't walk in bondage to sin and death. Is it wrong to be tempted then? No, of coarse not, but it is to YEILD to temptation and once again enslave ourselves to the former things. We are to be "holy" as Christ is "holy." He is able to change our heart and give us a new heart. Can a person be a practicing homosexual and still enter into heaven. Not according to the bible. Can they be a forgiven person who once walked that road? YES! Jesus told us that the road to heaven was narrow and straight and few would find it but the road to destruction *hell* was broad and many would choose it. Satan feeds people lies everyday that as long as they are "GOOD" they can go to heaven. Not according to the bible "For the wages of sin is DEATH, but the GIFT of GOD is ETERNAL LIFE through JESUS CHRIST our LORD" Romans 6:23...... The choice is yours, ignorance is not justified when we stand before him, he knows the heart...

A: Mike, I appreciate your taking the time to write all this for us.  Obviously you care a lot about sharing the Truth with others, or you wouldn't have bothered to post this message.  I wish you had spent more time reading the site, though, because I think you may have misunderstood my message.

I agree with the bulk of what you have to say.  It seems to me that you're reacting against a modern trend towards "feel good Christianity," which tends to overlook concepts like sin and judgment in favor of the things we like to hear.  You and I both view that type of Christianity as false.  I absolutely agree with you that God has given us standards by which we are expected to abide, whether we like them or not.  We would be fools if we didn't acknowledge that there is evil in the world, and that evil is a direct result of our own sin.  Sin is real, and we will be held accountable for our actions.

You are also right to point out that God is the ultimate judge of what is right and what is wrong -- not us.  One of the most oft-quoted proverbs in the Bible says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12).  In other words, our view is very limited.  We need Divine guidance to know what is good for us.  Thankfully, God's given us that guidance through the Bible and the Holy Spirit.

But here's the problem I have with what you're saying.  You and I and most of the people who visit this site will agree that God has standards for us.  The thing is, we may not always agree on exactly what those standards are.  You seem to have made the assumption that if any Christian disagrees with you about homosexuality, then he or she is someone "who would dare consider it to be the will of [God] to go against his commands."  Now come on, Mike; let's be reasonable about this.  No one believes that God wants us to disobey Him.  When we disobey God, it's for one of two reasons.  Either we do what we want even though we know it's wrong (something everyone is guilty of, by the way) or else we misunderstand God's will and disobey Him when we think we're doing the right thing.

You believe that gay sex is wrong.  So do some of the others who have visited this page -- not just those whose comments are posted here, but also quite a few people who have given me positive feedback on the site.  Still, not everyone agrees on that question.  Are you suggesting that everyone who supports same-sex unions, for example, is deliberately sinning against God?  I can tell you right now that's not true.  Whether they are right or wrong, there are many people who honestly believe that gay marriage, same-sex unions, and so on have a genuine place in God's will.  You're really not going to win them over to your view by accusing them of being liars.

We all have a tendency to hear only what we want to hear, so maybe you're suggesting that people who support same-sex unions are self-deceived.  If that's your point, then my suggestion would be to take a more compassionate and less accusatory tone if you want people to listen to you.  I kind of get the sense that what you really want is a debate about whether same-sex unions are right or wrong, but I'm not going to get into that discussion in this space.  That's not the point of this site.  And anyway, I can't say I'm too thrilled about the idea of Christians going around trying to get into arguments with anyone -- especially their brothers and sisters in Christ.

Then again, maybe you really do want to reach out in love, and not to start arguments.  If that's the case, why not take the time to read the site and see where I'm coming from, and then offer your thoughts in response to specifically what I've written?  I'm always willing to field questions here or in e-mail.

May God bless you, Mike.

--Justin

Q: Samantha writes:
Do people criticize you alot? I know being gay in my school would be a living h***!Anyway I know you cant write back to me because I dont have an email addy right now but ill write back when i get 1!!!! I admire u for putting a web site on the internet, i wouldn't have the guts to do that if i were gay!!!!

A: Well Samantha, thanks for saying so. :)  To answer your question, I do get a fair amount of criticism, particularly online -- like in chatrooms and e-mail.  Surprisingly, I don't get as much face-to-face criticism as you might think... but a lot of that is probably due to the fact that I'm a college student and most of my friends accept me as I am.  The biggest source of criticism in my life is probably my parents; we disagree on a lot of things, and sometimes we get into arguments.  But at least with my parents, I know their criticism comes out of their love for me.  Unfortunately, that is not the case with a lot of the other criticism.  Too much of it comes from things like pride, bitterness, and prejudice.

I don't mind criticism of my ideas, since I learn a lot by listening to and responding to my critics.  Sometimes I realize my critics are right about something and I was wrong, and other times I'm forced to come up with a clearer or more coherent argument to support my view.  So criticism itself is a good thing.  What I don't like is personal attacks from people who only want to preach and not to listen.  But hey... we all deal with things like that.  Sure, it's frustrating, but it's a part of life.  I try not to let it get to me.

--Justin

Q: Scott writes:
Justin, I haven't read your whole page and that may be my problem. But I am just curious as to whether or not you believe one can live (ie, get married, be in a relationship)gay or just have a homosexual orientation. And if there will be no relationship, I assume that is what you plan for your life? Let me know.

A: This is the question I get asked most frequently.  People get through the rest of the site and then want to know, "Yes, but what about gay relationships, gay marriage, and gay sex?  Are you for them or against them?"

I know it's the question on everybody's mind, and it is an important question if you're a gay person trying to decide what to do with your life.  But one of the reasons I first created this site was that when I was first trying to figure out what to do in my life, everything I found on the internet about gay people had to do with sex.  That wasn't what I was looking for, and so I set out to create a site to talk about being gay and not about gay sex.

We live in a culture that is obsessed with sex.  Most people assume that if you're dating someone or in love with someone, you must be having sex (regardless of whether you're straight or gay).  So when it comes to discussing gay issues, it's easy to understand why everyone tends to focus on sex first.  But there are times (in politics, religion, and just daily life) that we need to talk about gay people as individuals, without focusing on whether or not they're having sex.  That's what I want to do with this site.

Now obviously, the discussion is incomplete without talking about sex at some point.  All of the biblical references to homosexuality focus on sex, not on orientation.  And sex is a big part of life -- not only because it's a fun activity (or so I'm told), but also because it is an important part of the marriage relationship.  Many of us would like the opportunity to get married, but in order to decide God's position on gay marriage, we also have to discuss God's position on gay sex.  So I do understand that it's an important part of the equation.

Nevertheless, there are parts of gay life that have nothing to do with sex, and that's what "Justin's World" is supposed to be about.  I have gay Christian friends who are SideA (supporting gay marriage, sex, etc.) and gay Christian friends who are SideB (supporting celibacy for gay people).  For the most part, "Justin's World" is about the things that both sides can agree on.  And so far, I'm very encouraged by the feedback I've gotten from both sides, because it seems to be doing its job!

If you want to explore the theology of SideA and SideB, there are plenty of sites that will offer you one or the other as "the correct Christian position."  You can always check out The Gay Christian Network, which will expose you to both points of view.  And if you want to know my point of view or what I'm doing in my life, just contact me privately and ask.

If you look hard enough, you can even find out which view I hold.  I did mention it somewhere on the site, but I still didn't explain why.  For an explanation, you'd have to contact me.  But no matter which side you are on, know that I respect you and encourage you to live according to God's will the best you can, even if you and I ultimately disagree on what that will is.

--Justin