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quotes

quotes


these are my personal favorite quotes, listed by episode. i don't have every episode on tape, so if you have any to add for those episodes, send them to me, if you want. (=

valentine's day massacre
"you look as lovely as the hoover dam today, ellen."
--openface

what we did on our summer vacation
coming soon

space, geeks, and johnny unitas
coming soon

apocalypse pete
"the maniac is playing polka music, son! sweaty men in liederhosen squeezing accordions!"
--dad

new year's pete
"chew my lint, grandpa!"
--younger pete

"blow it out your nosehole, frank!"
--younger pete

"ahh... free air."
--artie

day of the dot
"deal with it dipwad! take us home!"
--younger pete

"i am a dot...i am a dot...i am a dot..."
--ellen

"music of the gods!"
--artie

"on your right, the factory that produced our hitatchi barbecue.. sally loved vegetable kabobs."
--stu

"when love comes, you better pull over to the side of the road and open your door, because there's nothing in this world that matters more."
--stu

nightcrawlers
-"isn't it a wonderful morning!"
-"dawn was better!"
--mom and younger pete

"wax my nose hairs!"
--little pete

"be strong, freckle-faced boy! sleep is for the puny!"
--artie

king of the road
n/a

tool and die
coming soon

rangeboy
n/a

when petes collide
"what if you could get your license now, but for six months, you'd have a trout head?"
--big pete

"bite my neck hair!"
--little pete

"drink that. it's milk."
--grandpa

don't tread on pete
n/a

hard day's pete
coming soon

grounded for life
-"i thought you'd be shorter."
-"i am."
--nona and younger pete

"most other fathers have something they're good at, like business or sports. all you have is a pile of grass."
--younger pete

field of pete
n/a

the call
"soon you will be as cheese, boy--melty, melty, melty."
--artie

"nona f. mecklenburg's speech patterns could cloud men's minds."
--big pete

"you're pathetic. just so you know."
--little pete

"see you later--when we're on a lunchbox!"
--little pete

the big quiet
"buckle up, gary. it's not just the law -- it feels good."
--younger pete

"i never know what to talk about with my dad. so whenever he's around, i just fake falling asleep. he thinks i have a degenerative brain disorder."
--bill korn

"gary, wherever you are, always know that there is a hand of bob's your uncle finely dealt for you."
--artie

time tunnel
coming soon

halloweenie
-"pete wrigley, you have tasted the dark side."
-"and it tastes like chicken!"
--the pumpkin eters

"hey blowhole! wherever you are, in 45 minutes, i'm gonna be famous! you know what you're gonna be? a blowhole!"
--younger pete

inspector 34
coming soon

farewell, my little viking (part 1)
n/a

farewell, my little viking (part 2)
"call me a truck and slap me til wednesday!"
--artie

"you too will enjoy the pleasure ridges."
--artie (talking about aluminum siding. (= )

"pink on the inside, crisperooni on the outside."
--artie

sick day
"ladies and gentlemen, glen wurtle's bike!"
--stu

yellow fever
coming soon

x=why?
coming soon

on golden pete
"if anyone needs me, just skip a stone three times."
--younger pete
"fishstalker, are you wearing your bubble?"
--mom

35 hours
"now begins the age of pete."
--little pete

"gotta go. your father's gassed himself again."
--mom

"you could break everything in the house...dig up the yard...contaminate it with nuclear waste."
--big pete

the trouble with teddy
"i mock your cheese danish and all it stands for!"
--little pete

-"pete? am i not a nice guy? is it bad to be angry at a friend?"
-"not if you really hate him!"
--pete and pete

the good, the bad, and the lucky
"see that krebscout turning green
someone whizzed in her canteen"
--younger pete, monica, nona and wayne's marching song

"nobody talks that way about my lucky underpants!"
--nona

"here. the yellow ones taste like summer."
--nona (giving monica her lucky candy necklace.)

splashdown
coming soon

dance fever
coming soon

crisis in the love zone
"don't be a loser
don't be a dud
don't fall in love
or you'll feel like crud"
--younger pete and nona's anti-spring fever chant

"i'm gonna punch out a symphony on his face and dedicate his pain to you."
--pit stain

last laugh
coming soon

allnighter
n/a

road warrior
n/a

pinned!
"all i know is this shade of red looks great with my new shirt."
--endless mike

"glad to see you're showing a little spine, 'cause when i get you alone, i'm going to yank it out of your body and beat you over the head with it... like a... a drum!"
--endless mike

oh christmas pete
coming soon

das bus
n/a

saturday
coming soon


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