Loveline: July 29, 1999 "The script to the Teen Choice Awards"

Drew: Teen Choice Awards

Adam: Teen Choice Awards Yes, <laughing>

Drew: My favorite part about this though is that there is that ever present question, "So what's the weirdest question you've ever been asked"

Adam: Right

Drew: I think you oughta answer it this time. I think James ought to be right on in there

Adam: Hey, there's this so, alright, so when we do the Teen Choice Awards and someone says 'Guys what is the strangest question you've ever been asked on Loveline' I'll say 'Oh, so there's this guy named James calling in the radio show about a year ago and his dog was working him from behind, I mean really in him and working him"

Drew: Brutus

Adam: Brutus, that's right. I don't know if they'd be, you know as a matter of fact, we ought to just do that because, we hate that question, but it always comes up, but then when I say 'hey here's the one' everyone freaks out and goes 'what are you talking about' I'm like

Drew: You can't say that!

Adam: Yeah, you can't talk about that, well you asked me what the weirdest question was what do you want me to say, that was the weirdest one. Now, you know the whole thing that's always wrong about these really bad um, bad award shows, not that this one is necessarily bad, but why that dialogue at the podium is always so bad it's because…people, the dialogue is written as if you're having a conversation, but you're both facing straight ahead

Drew: and they won't let you have a conversation

Adam: reading off the teleprompter and it's never a conversation alright, you wanna, you wanna try this Drew? Ok, again, I'm not very good at cold reading I didn't really take a look at this, but I'll give it a shot, uh do we have any applause or anything like that, do we have the announcer here

Drew: uh, wait wait wait, yeah announcer VO, voice over

Adam: Alright, I'll do that

<applause>

Adam: <in announcer voice> Please welcome Daisy Fuentes and Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew from Loveline <loud applause> Settle down you animals, that was improvised there

Drew: Attention retards!

Adam: Thank you, thank you. I know what you're thinking

Drew: Oh this is brilliant Adam, already

Adam: When you see Dr. Drew and me on a show, sex isn't far behind

Drew: and he doesn't mean that literally

Adam: I'll do Daisy Fuentes line

Drew: and there's likely to be some talk about that subject

Adam: Wait a minute, I'm doin' Daisy's line

Drew: Oh

Adam: Now we gotta take it from the top

Adam: We gotta take it from the top. Ann, can you come in here and play the part of Daisy Fuentes puh-lease?

 Drew: Here she comes

Adam: We're going to have the re-do this whole thing cause it's gonna be too confusing

Drew: We need another mic set up for Ann

 Adam: Ah, she can talk into this mic ok? Yeah it's not going to be, there's not much dialogue here. Alright, are there gonna be other celebrities here? I mean, it seems like me, you, and Daisy aren't enough. Oh wait there's more, what the hell?

 Drew: That's when you announce the winner there

Adam: Oh, ok, ooo, I shouldn’t say the winner though should I? Do we know the winner? I won’t talk about it on the air. Alright, you wanna play the part of Daisy Fuentes?

Adam: Alright let's do the applause again, I'll just go ahead and re-annouce that <announcer voice w/applause> Now introducing Daisy Fuentes and from Loveline, Adam Caroll ah, Caroller (laughing) and Dr. Drew! <applause><regular voice>

Adam: I know what you're all thinking, when you see Dr. Drew and me on a show, sex isn't far behind

Daisy(played by Ann): Excuse me?

Drew: He doesn't mean that literally, he means that there is to be be some talk about that subject

Adam: Talk? We're here to give out the award for sexiest love scene in a movie, I don't think the dialogue has much to do with it.

Daisy: Adam, it's important that people talk to each other before they have sex.

Adam: You mean like 'hey what's you're name?'

"Daisy: No, you know what i "I mean, you and Dr. Drew talk about much more than just sex on Loveline

Drew: That's right, we talk about intimacy and love and relationships

"Daisy: No, you know what i "Imean, you and Dr. Drew talk about much more than just sex on Loveline

Adam: but norm, but mostly, is that you? sorry

Drew: That’s you

Adam: But mostly sex, but mostly sex which we can't do on this show

Daisy: So bear that in mind as we look at the top four choices for sexiest love scene in

Adam: A movie

Daisy: <laughs> a movie

Drew: (says nominees)

Adam: And the winner is..

 Drew: woah, woah, woah

Adam: We don't have it

Drew: No, no no

Adam: Oh we do?

Drew: Read this, it’s your line

Adam: Oh, ok, but we don’t have the uh, I don’t want to give away anything

Drew: Yeah

Adam: Ok, uh

Drew: Read that

Adam: Ok <laughs> And the woody, isn't that was surfers call these things? Goes to…and then

 Drew: Daisy reads

Adam: Daisy reads

Drew: Thank you <applause>

Adam: Thank you. The part of Daisy Fuentes was played by producer Ann <applause is louder>

Drew: That was sheer entertainment

Adam: Alright, that was uh

Drew: I laughed, i I cried, I particularly like the appearance by the young producer

Adam: You wonder why these things get panned. Alright Drew, so what are we gonna do, we going to have to do somethin’ else here, I think we’ll just have to improvise.