Answers to questions were excerpted from Aging Parents: Continuity and Change in Adult Life by William D. Bland, Ph.D., Cummings & Hathaway Publishers, 1998.
Q1: When does caregiving for a parent begin?
Adult children often become involved in eldercare after a health crisis or the death of one parent. They may notice that an aging parent is having difficulty with managing aspects of daily living and needs help in performing routine tasks. Adult children begin by assisting the parent with periodic chores such as shopping or cleaning, and progressively become involved in daily tasks and activities.
Q2: Will my parent end up in a nursing home.
Contrary to popular belief, only about 6 percent of the elderly population over age 65 are in a nursing home or other long-term care facility. However, since health deteriorates more rapidly after about age 85 than before, institutionalization increases to 25 percent with advancing years. Although institutionalization increases for this age group, a large majority of older people will never enter a nursing home.
Q3: At what age does a person suddenly become old?
Old age is defined as beginning at age 65 simply because the Social Security Act of 1935 set age 65 as the age of eligibility for full retirement benefits. However, there is no evidence of a strong relationship between chronological age and the time when a person becomes old. Some people show characteristics of old age (changes in physical appearance, reduced mobility, loss of strenght and coordination, and decline in mental capacity) at age 55 while others are still active and vibrant at age 85.
Q4: What are the signs of senility?
The term "senility" is an overly generalized stereotype for any symptoms of confusion, anxiety, memory loss, or disorientation. Senility is not a disease of old age. Unfortunately, the term is often confused with Alzheimer's disease which is an organic brain disorder associated with old age, but not an inevitable consequence of aging.
Q5: Does everyone experience a midlife crisis?
The writer Gail Sheehy, in her book Passages, called popular attention to the idea of a midlife crisis. However, the general notion of a "midlife crisis" is not supported by the research. While this may be a period of reassessment and reordering of priorities, the demands of midlife do not constitute any more of a crisis than do changes at other times of life. Most people in midlife are not overwhelmed and cope quite well with their age-related changes.
Q6: What does telling the same story over and over again mean?
Family members and others may believe that the reminiscences of older adults is an attempt to live in the past. However, reminiscence is a form of life review as the older person attempts to integrate the past with the present and the future. Taking time to listen to these stories offers a valuable opportunity to reinforce old feelings of closeness and attachment.
Q7: What is ageism?
Ageism is a form of predjudice and discrimination based on age. Popular stereotypes of the old as lonely, isolated, infirmed, and senile help to perpetuate the myths underlying ageism. Most older people are integrated in social networks, active, and are psychologically healthy. However, ageism differs from other forms of discrimination becuause if you live long enough, you will become old yourself. Thus, ageism could be viewed as a form of self-discrimination.
Q8: Are older people afraid of death?
A number of studies indicate that older adults are less afraid of death than younger or middle-aged adults. In fact, there is no increase in fear of death among older persons even as the time of death approaches. Having reached old age, they may feel that they have received their fair share of life. And older people frequently have to deal with the deaths of others which may help socialize them to their own death.
Q9: How much does a funeral cost?
The average cost of a funeral today is over $6,000. Many people are reluctant to talk about death and are therefore unprepared to deal with the financial aspects of a funeral when the time comes. Bereaved family members must make immediate decisions at a critical moment in life, with little or no opportunity to think about options. Pre-planning is becoming more popular, however it is not a good idea to pre-pay for funeral goods and services.
Q10: What impact does parent death have on adult children?
Certain losses are common during the middle years, including the loss of elderly parents. However, even anticipated losses such as the death of a parent when you are in your forties or fifties still calls for grieving the loss. However, parent death may provide an impetus for personal growth and change. Adult children may think of succeeding in their careers or in other facets of their lives that they feel would have gained approval from their deceased parent.
