21 Ways to Avoid Single Mother Burnout

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21 Ways to Avoid Single Mother Burnout by Andrea Engber

Don't waste time regretting failures or feeling guilty about things you don't do.
To assure yourself a good night's sleep, plan your next day before retiring. First thing in the morning, review your priorities for the day.
Try this army tip for less racing around in the morning. At bedtime, instead of sleepwear, dress infants and toddlers in outfits for the next day. Kids could care less about designer bunny pajamas and would prefer you reserve the extra moments saved each morning for cuddling and hugging.
Learn to prioritize and compromise. Do the most important things first, but be sure they are important. Are clean clothes more important than floors you can eat off of? Then skip the mopping and do a load of laundry instead.
Don't clutter your life with papers. Handle each piece of paper only once, and throw away anything you possibly can.
Take office skills home. Keep a workplace cleared for action and keep three file folders handy. Label one "URGENT," the second one "ASAP," and the third one, "TO BE FILED."
Setting up a good filing system will save you countless hours in the long run. In fact, instead of a telephone table or nightstand, invest in a cheap, sleek, black, two-drawer file cabinet. Place a plant on top, and it goes with anything. Fill with manila file folders and don't forget to label a few for your child's stuff.
On weekends, give to yourself and your child. Try not to think of work. You will be more productive when Monday morning comes around.
Use a small, inexpensive tape recorder to plan events, schedule appointments, or list important to-dos. When you're driving to the day care and work in the morning, attach it to your visor, and you and your child can record whatever comes to mind during busy traffic. Drive and at the same time "read" that novel you've been craving or let your child listen to her favorite adventures.
Delegate everything you possibly can to others. Ask for help. And get the kids to pitch in (yes, a five-year-old can help set the table and fold laundry) whenever possible.
Save up the many short errands end jobs for a once a month marathon. Devote a half-day to accomplishing as much as you can. Ask a friend to come along.
Don't give in to your child's every whim. Single parents guilty of giving that extra toy or candy bar to replace the missing parent tend to spoil their kids in the process. This leads to more time consuming battles over control. You are the parent, and your word is the final one.
Buy a kitchen or egg timer and use it for the following:
Concentrate on only one thing for a set period of time. When the timer rings or buzzes, go on to the next task.
Use the timer when putting your child in "time out."
Every evening try to give your child undivided attention, say for about 20-25 minutes. Set the timer and let him know that this is his time and that when the buzzer goes off, you are going to do something else. Turn on the phone answering machine and allow no distractions.
Every evening, give yourself some private time. Set the timer for approximately 20 minutes and relax, scream, exercise, cry, laugh, or write in a journal. Let your child know this is your time and you are not to be interrupted. Make sure young children are in a safe place with safe activities.
Recognize that some of your time will be spent in activities out of your control. Getting upset while waiting in traffic or sitting in a doctor's waiting room, is a waste of time. In fact, "waiting," might be the best time to relax or plan things you would not normally do.
Although it's best not to put off what can be done immediately, when overloaded, ask yourself, "Will something horrible happen to me if I don't do this right now?" If you answer "No," chances are you are too tired or stressed out and should save this task for another time.
Give up writing notes, addresses and phone numbers on envelopes and napkins that forever get lost or disposed of. Carry Rolodex cards in your purse or pocket and jot everything down on those. Put in Rolodex file when you get home.
The best way to utilize time wisely is to live in the "here and now." Even chores such as cleaning your kid's room can result in quality time if you both allow yourself the fun of doing it. Anything can feel good if you are enjoying yourself. Don't know how to do this? Start "acting as if" you're happy. It's contagious.