The stress of going through a divorce is often a lonely process. No matter how supportive and under-standing our friends and family try to be it just doesn't meet all of our needs. The changes we face are numerous. First, we have to deal with the loss of a partner along with all the dreams of a future together. The feeling of loss extends to friends who disappear or choose to align themselves with our former partner. As a single person, we have to create a whole new identity. We are forced to adjust to the singles' lifestyle with diminished financial and emotional resources. The juggling of children's schedules becomes more complex than it already is for working parents today. But, lets not get discouraged. The key is to be patient with ourselves and to take one day at a time. We need to remind ourselves that we are not alone and do not have to go through the one to three years divorce process solo.

Roger, a single parent, found it easy to expand his network of friends by making a commitment to accept any invitation that would put him in contact with new people. "I learned to allow different people to meet my numerous needs; to play a sport, to go to a movie, to bare my soul, to forget my problems, to laugh with, etc." Being around people helps us feel less isolated. Men like Roger who relied on their spouses for their social interaction will have to put out greater effort in this arena. Although women have an easier time establishing a network of friends, it is important not to burn out a single friend.

Close to half of all marriages end up in divorce. Millions of people get over the stress of divorce and go on to lead productive emotionally satisfying lives. That means, that we too can emerge from this crises a better and happier person. We just need a little help from other single parents.

There are many places we can go to find other single parents. We can form a network through our children by putting an ad in the school newspaper advertising a single parents peer support group. We can join well established organizations, such as Parents Without Partners or the Helping Hand for Single Parents, Inc. We can also choose to join a single parents' support group led by a licensed psychotherapist. Single parents like ourselves, benefit a great deal from developing a sense of community while experiencing one of the more difficult transitions in our lives.

We need a forum to discuss alternative ways to go through the divorce process. There are so many questions we can find answers to in a supportive environment. For example: Should I use a mediator? How do I choose an attorney? How do I let go of my children in the middle between my ex-spouse and me? How do I handle differences in parenting styles between my co-parent and myself? Should I buy a new house right away or rent first? How can I minimize the number of changes the children have to deal with? How do I rebuild my tattered self image and get rid of this overwhelming feeling of failure? When will I be ready for a new relationship? How do I handle dating as a single parent? These are some of the questions that haunt us. Somehow it is easier to find the answers that work for us when we can pool the resources available in a group of single parents who have either experienced or are currently struggling with some of these issues. The potential is enormous if we only find the courage to reach out. So let's get on the phone today.