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I was in my room the next morning. Caesar had long departed. I was at the table with my newspaper and bagel with strawberry jam. I was almost done reading the Family Circus when I was interrupted.
"Come in!" I yelled to stop the knocking on the door. JC quietly crept from out behind the door. "Good morning." I got up to rinse my plate in the sink.
"Yeah, good morning." He stood there silent.
"Is there something you wanted?"
"Yes, actually there is something I wanted to ask you."
"OK, shoot."
"Um, is Caesar turning you gay?" I immediatly dropped my plate into the sink.
"Huh?" I was dumbfounded by his question.
"Last night I thought I saw you two, making out?" I couldn't believe it, he caught us and I had nothing to say.
"No, Caesar isn't turning me gay."
"Whoa, that's a relief. I'm sorry I accused you of that." He headed for the door and I regret saying what I said next.
"I was gay before I even met Caesar." He paused in his tracks he looked at me once before continuing out the door.
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I was writing in my diary something I have found solace in the past couple of days.
Dear Diary~
I'm in deep trouble, you don't even know the half of it. I said something I shouldn't have said. At the time, it didn't seem so bad, but when I reflect on that very moment. I should have just bitten my tongue there. I know you're curious to what exactly I said. I told JC I was gay. I know what you're thinking. Gosh Lance can you be any stupider. The answer is no. I'm stupid, I know I am I'm the first to admit that. Well, maybe not the first. The good thing is that he doesn't know who I really like, which is him. If he ever found that out I would go crazy. I don't really have much else to say, but I'm not tired, cause I can't get to sleep, but I'll be writing in you soon. So good-night little pal. Bye bye now.
Love
Lance
I closed my diary and another knock came on my door. Who is it now? Could it get any worse?
"Come in!" JC appeared from behind the door. Apparently it could.
"Hi."
"Hello, can I help you?" I was trying to be rude, but I was.
"Don't be rude."
"I'm not trying to be rude."
"Well, you are. Nevermind it's not important anyway." He turned to the door.
"Wait, come back. I'm sorry." I really was.
"OK." He came back. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Sure what about?" I really knew but I wanted to hear him say it.
"Your gayness."
"OK, talk."
"I've been thinking a lot. I was wondering, were you really getting it on with Caesar last night?"
"Yeah." I didn't see the point.
"So you've kissed another guy before?"
"Yes, I think I've kissed him about three times."
"I've always wondered what it is like to kiss another guy, so I was hoping that you and me could..." He trailed off but I knew what he wanted and I wanted it too. I'm sure my hard, cold scowl turned into a light, happy smile cause I've been waiting a long time for this.
"You wanna kiss me?" I had to make sure we were on the same page.
"Or you can kiss me, I really don't care. I just want to be able to say I've done it and I know what it feels like."
"We can do that, if you want?"
"Yes, it's what I want." He sat down on the bed. I got up from my chair and sat next to him. I thought I wouldn't be so nervous when my dream finally came true. He took a deep breath I could tell he was nervous as well.
"There's nothing to it, but to do it."
"Easy for you to say. OK, enough talk let's just close our eyes and do it." We both closed are eyes and we both leaned in, it was very in sync. I could feel his tension filled lips relax under the longevity of the moment. Before I knew it, it was more than just a kiss, it was becoming an all out make out session. Before things started to get out of hand he wisely pulled back. "Now I've done everything." He got up and left my room.
As soon as the door closed I fell back onto the bed and breathed a sigh of happiness.
"He was just as good as I expected." I had to tell somebody, I couldn't keep this good news a secret for very long. I quickly got up and ran to Justin and Zoë's room. I knocked on the door not letting my joyous expression fade. Zoë answered the door and immediatly saw my smile.
"What happened to you?"
"Nothing." I walked in. Justin wasn't there which was probably a good thing.
"Wipe that doopy grin off you face, and tell me what's up."
"OK," I could hardly contain myself any longer. "JC and I kissed."
"What?!" She didn't look that happy. "Get out." She gave me a little push.
"Yep."
"How did this happen? Did you seduce him?"
"No, it was the wierdest thing. He came in and said how he never kissed a guy before and he wanted to try and would I do the honors."
"You're kidding me, JC said that. The always conservative, doesn't want to disappoint his mother, JC?"
"Yes." I nodded.
"Well, aren't you a happy little camper?"
"Yes indeed."
"What about Caesar?" The question took me down a couple of notches. I didn't even think about Caesar, my boyfriend. If he ever found out.
"I didn't really think about that. I was just so caught up in what was happening." Only Zoë could bring me down from cloud 9 to reality.
"Don't you think you should tell him?" She was right I should, but I couldn't.
"I can't do that, how do think he would feel?"
"Well, I'm sure not good but he has right to know." Once again she was right, I hated that.
"I know, but I can't tell him that. I know JC won't say anything cause he doesn't want it to get out and I'm not going to say anything, so?" I looked at her, once again asking her to keep an impossible secret.
"Not again, no I'm not going to hide this from Caesar he deserves to know what happened. You may not believe it, but I've grown very fond of him and he's a really great person and he should know that his boyfriend cheated on him." I couldn't believe what I was hearing she was going to tell him.
"I didn't cheat on him."
"You kissed another guy behind his back, tell me what that is then."
"Not cheating, it was simply helping out a friend with an experiment he wanted to conduct."
"You know what, you can keep this a secret from him, but I'm gonna tell him if you don't. Who do you think he rather hear it from?" I did it again. I should have just kept my mouth shut, but I wanted to brag. Well, I had to do it. I can't keep my mouth shut now. It's time to tell Caesar.
"OK, I'll go tell him." I got up and headed for his room. I hesitated before I knocked on the door.
"Hey." He greeted, he was so happy, or he seemed to be.
"Hi." I said a little upset.
"What is it?" He could tell something was wrong.
"I've got something to tell you."
"Bad or good?"
"Bad."
"Oh no."
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
"Why?"
"I..." I couldn't say it, but I had to.
"You what?" I took a deep breath.
"I kissed JC." I turned away so I wouldn't have to face his expression.
"What?! That guy, he is not gay."
"I know that, it was an experiment. He never kissed a guy before and he wanted to know what it was like."
"You could have just told him."
"I know, I'm so sorry. What can I do for you to make this up to you."
"There's nothing you can do. Once a cheater always a cheater."
"I didn't...."
"Just get out, I think I'll be heading back to Phoenix." I walked out of his room. I hated this I've lost two boyfriends on this trip and it ain't even half over. I'm just not very good with the men. I just wanted to be alone.
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Later that night I was watching tv. Caesar was getting ready to leave. A knock came on my door. Recently a knock could only mean bad things, but I let them in anyway.
"Hello." JC was depressed. "I'm sorry I got you in trouble with your boyfriend."
"That's OK, it just wasn't meant to be."
"If it makes you feel any better. Caesarea dumped me."
"You guys were going out?"
"Yeah, it was offical this morning."
"Oh."
"Then I went off and got it on with you. I'm so stupid." He sat down on my bed and put his head in his hands.
"You're not stupid." I sat next to him and put a comforting arm around him.
"I finally found a girl who I liked, who wasn't trying to use me. And what do I do? I go and make out with my friend."
"Maybe you just weren't meant for girls."
"I'm not gay, that's you."
"How do you know, maybe you are too. Did you feel anything when you kissed me?"
"I felt disgust, it's not me. It can't be."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I can't be. How many girls have there been?" This question took me by surprise.
"With Caesarea, six."
"Maybe it's time for a change." He looked at me.
"You mean?"
"Yeah, maybe you're right. I need to broaden my horizions." He paused and looked down. "And I want to do it with you."
"Really?"
"Yeah." We both looked at each other, and like before on instict we both drew closer to each other where we finally met. I closed my eyes tightly not wanting this to end. It was too joyous and we stayed together the rest of the night.
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Dear Diary
Well, it's been good. Me and JC have been going out for 4 months now. I don't even miss Caesar. The guys and Zoë have excepted our relationship so everything is cool. I knew in the end I'd get him. Well, I won't be writing in you anymore cause I've kinda grown out of it. Plus JC wants me to express my feeling to him so we can have an emotional bond. I hope you enjoyed the story of how my life long love partner (I hope), JC got together, and for one final time. Bye bye now.
Love
Lance
The End
