4-22-05
In the cities, things are quite different. Sequim, a happy, calm, simple place. But it is not a place I want to be. Farms, small businesses, and nothing exciting. But its people, so nice and pure. Pureness you will not find in the cities. Their minds are very simple, without evil or harmful intentions. If one dropped a hundred-dollar bill on a neighbor's backyard, this neighbor would gladly return it. The "bad" kids, even in high school, are not close to those in the city. Everyone (maybe 96%) have utmost respect toward others, and it was expected to be given back. Back when I was a lad living in Sequim, I grew up with the principles of honesty, reverence, and discipline. But these lessons have been somewhat corrupted, since I had lived in China for the first 5 years, the most important years, of my life. The past is gone, and we need to focus on the present and future. Sequim, all in all, is a nice place with nice people, and most of all, a simple life...a life too simple for me. People had simple ideas and good intentions, ones quite different from the city...quite different. In the city, everyone wears a mask, a mask that appears pleasant and inviting. But on the inside, cruelness, ruthlessness, and evil seek to put you below them in whatever means necessary. Appearing to seem nice, they will turn on a friend, talk garbage about them behind their back, or seek profit. In the city, one must think about every action one will do and every thing one will say. People will stab you in the back. The ones who look most innocent and nice are the culprits of evil. Yes, they have a pleasant-looking build and tone, but on beneath that lies an evil, gruesome monster. Those who are "friends" with them also have their evil intentions, and are on constant alert of the so called "friend." Have patience and determination; these are the spectacles through which one can see through the masks. Yes this is very vague and seemingly unhelpful, but careful thought will lead to the meaning. I know one of these monsters in the city who has crafted a beautiful mask, one that deceives very, very well. Though I was lured by this mask, I came to find out how despicable the thing beneath was. This monster has many fooled about how "smart" it is or how "nice" it is, but I (and few others), see through this and will not be deceived by it any longer. Everything it does is for personal benefit. From somewhere in October I have been tricked until about two months ago. Still, I am angry at how I was deceived and how stupid I was. People sicken me. Speaking of sick, I have really bad allergies, and my throat is sore. Good thing for WASL. Me encanta. Schooled the WASL today, then went to track, skipped in the middle, and got home. Even got a dose of baloncesto too. Was supposed to go and play w/ Yama and Paul and Steves etc., but ended up playing w/ Tyler, Bobby, and co. Still works. You can tell I am bored.
4-14-05
I handled anger very well today.
4-8-05
Felt like I was going to go blind after track. Saw spots sometimes. Went to see movie and still was seeing spots sorta. Went away after a while. Chilled at mall. Dang 14-15 people. After eating, just stayed there and talked. Wanted to go home. After drinking that pochi, felt crappy. Now, still crappy.
4-7-05
Who would have thought? I'm maturing during Spring Break. This sucks, I'm not as happy. The realities of life frighten me. Yesterday, I saw how stressful work will be. Not only that, but my aunt told me the truth about having fun different from the truth;) (she is serious and wants me to believe it's true) my grandma taught me. My aunt tells me that I need to go everywhere I want to and do everything I want to do because "when you are married, you will not have time." She says that I'll have to take on more responsibilities and have to fit everyone's schedule. Marriage constrains you. Well, f*** that, I'm goin to China this summer. Wooohoooo! But what she said still makes me think...What job will I have? Will I be married? Will I be poor? What college do I go to? What career will I pursue? My grandma's truth;) is that fun can wait, and I need to study hardcore and not do anything but study. She does not want me to have a social life. But on Sunday, I went to Chinatown in Seattle. Waiting for a table, a man offers to share tables when available. My mom agrees too. This man is a complete stranger to us. But we sit together with him. His face is weathered, not to the point of seniority, but it shows he has gone through many adversities. There are wrinkles at the end of his eyes, but his eyes are large. They are fiery and full of life. I'm sure his spirit is nothing less. This man origin is the same as my mom's, and his life is relative to ours. To Vancouver, B.C. he goes for good food. Though he frequents more than we to Vancouver, he has the same tastes as us. All the conversation was of a light nature, keeping things between us friendly. Nothing was of particular interest to me, but when he said, "as long as you like it...that's all that matters..." something in my brain clicked. This and what my aunt said has altered my life a little. But this leads me to a question that I've wondered for a long time. Would I rather have a happy, mid-class life, or a rich and stressful life? What would my friends choose?
4-6-05
I want a new car. But for 5000, I could get a crappy used car. I think I'll just fix one of the crap cars in the garage.
4-1-05
Just woke up. It's 6:32pm. Slept from 3:30? When I was going through transition of stages of conciousness, a phrase kept appearing in my head. The phrase was: Put that bitch in her place. I wondered what I was talking about afterwards. Hm, some spring break and still got homework. Got dandruff! (instead of saying God d***) Shabanu play ended up pretty good, but I forgot to give Melissa our script. oops, sorry guys. Sent it via geekbox though; and put the real thing in her teacher's box. Today was hardcore. I had so much on my head. Math test, Hist test, biology test, SKIT, remembering what I need to do over break. Man. Sucks. Hope Vedran doesn't get his face rearranged by those Mexicans at the futbol game. Hmwrk 35, portfolio, ctdub, study for AP hist may exam. Great. Today woke up at 6:15 or around that but slept at around 12 finning my hmwrk. Felt crappy. Woke up a little bit after hist test. woke up more at span "party". Have more to say but too lazy to type.
3-31-05
Well, feeling good. Lots of crap teachers are giving before Spring Break, e.g. tests, play, more tests, presentation, etc. Mr. Anderson gives us a freakin month-long project I haven't really started on, need to study for the AP Hist ril dil, need to do AP Hist portfolio, man Spring Break's like hmwrk catch-up week. Later, not that bored or angry. Payce.
3-29-05
Almost decided not to go to Key Club and sleep in. Did though. What I actually should have done was go retake that AP Hist test. Got an 80 first try. Sucks. Would have gotten higher before I started feeling wierd. Almost gone now. It came back yesterday. Vedran & Taylor asked me what my problem was. I couldn't even tell them. Now, it's better, but I'm not quite normal. Intended to retake AP test ayer. But turns out, I had to board the track bus by 2:20. I'll take it in the morning manana. Track sucked. I was hecka cold. I don't wanna talk about it. Today, I wasn't able to, again, go after school and retake my test. I had a math retake. It was pretty hard. Those stupid logs. Robinson sucks at teaching. In that freakin Melissa's class, wrote some Shabanu. Couldn't really focus since that group behind us kept distracting our group members. Its us 5 again, plus Steve. Vedran and Jeff keep getting us off task. Basically Steve, Kyle a little, tiny bit, and me working. Lin has crappy ideas. Mun asked me if I had a problem and if it's because of BSL. I really don't understand how people think I could have bitch problems. I told him no, but it doesn't really seem like he believed me. Oh well, doesn't matter if he doesn't believe. Doesn't concern me. The wierd thing actually is when Ved asked me if I would have sexual intercourse with Johnny B's girl if that meant I could have sex w/ BSL. Does that nigger not know me? Haylls no! I have morals and principles. Plus, BSL...plz. Johnny's girl...ugh. Both ways, I'm disgusted (in more ways than one). Good news, though, that Johnny's actually goin through with doin Candyshop for talent show. The concept is pretty funny; I'm laughing right now. Too bad R-Unit didn't work out. Ne ways, skipped track today. Finished math retake at 3:30, so I decided I was gonna skip track. Now, I got time to work on Shabanu skit since Steve and I are the brains of the contraption, and Steve is at track prac. Wonder what should happen in our Shab skit...---Well now, I feel completely normal again! Looks like Steve wrote the rest of the script, but I have a hunch that I'm gonna need to change and add hella. We'll see how things are.
3-26-05
Woke up in the morning and in the midst of consciousness, I hear drops of rain on the roof. I thought, Great day for an Easter Egg Hunt. Went to the Hunt. It was raining HELLA! Went to tend the Canned Food Drive at the back of a van. We needed to get a sign up. (name omitted) went to get a pen for like 5 minutes. Rusbay got a pen in 1. Fuckin (omitted) can't do anything. What's worse? With that (omitted) handwriting, wouldn't write "Canned Food Drive" on the fuckin' poster. I had to do it. Bitch. Instead of tending the canned food thing with us, goes and flirts with (omitted). He's got a cute little bro. Looks like him too. But since I was most prepared with a jacket, the lady tells me to stand out in the rain and tell traffic to park in the upper parking lot. FUck. After ten minutes, Ron relieves me. But, I have to spread eggs around. I was like the freakin' Easter Bunny without the costume. The job got my jacket, hands, and feet wet. By the end, I was drenched. Why couldn't they freakin' call the whole thing off ahead of time or do it indoors? While I was doing all that, Steve went to freakin' McDonald's to buy food. 15 minutes before everything ends, he comes back. I had a black coffee, hash browns, and a sandwich w/ sausage, egg, and biscuit. I hate that coffee. Even with sugar and cream. Ugh. Steve spilled coffee in his car. Rusbay and I helped out, but that bitch, no. Spent the whole time flirting w/ those gaysians. Fuckin' asians. They need to git they wasabi ass back ta Tokugawa o wherever da hell dey be from. Thing that annoys me most is how (omitted) likes those Disney songs. DAYYUUUMMMMMM bitch! Steve heard those songs before. (omitted) even has them in her car. I haint nevva heard them in my life. Thing I want to say to (omitted): Grow up bitch. Like Steve said, (omitted)'s like a four-year-old. Really don't wanna do hmwrk. Math and history. Gosh. I also need to write that Shabanu skit. It's all riding on me. BUnch of slackers. I better do good this time, since we got a 3 last time when I didn't do stuff. That test, I got a 3.3. Fuckin ( omitted ) got a 73 or 74, curving the test by only one or two points. I was pretty angry for a few minutes after I heard that and saw my grade. But I guess that's the best I can do in Melissa's class. I hate english. Can't wait till Spring Break or WASL week. Won't have hmwrk or anything. Just chill with homies and sleep.
3-25-05
Woo, praise the lord! I feel a lot better today. Still on Robitussin for my cough, but that old feeling is pretty much gone. Now, I feel tired and don't want to do anything. Mr. Anderson cancelled all the essays. At that time, I was like WOOOHOOOOOOO! But, I still gotta worry about those quizzes and tests. Dayum, those things are hard. Freakin' 75 before the curve on Ch. 31 & 32. I'm lookin' forward to R-Unit. Johnny said something funny today. He said something like, Don't call me Johnny it's reserved for the girls, or something like that. He's pretty pimp. :) That assembly was so suck. It was boring and WAY too loud. :) I saw The Helg dancing at the assembly. Wow, I was praying for the stands to hold up. What a scary sight! Odd thing happened today while I was heading up to the gym for track. BSL, who was walking in front of me, turned around and said, "Hi Jack." Not even noticing that bitch, I was surprised. George was surprised too. I don't really have that feeling for her anymore. Lost it after I got sick. Thank God. I got better things to think about, like ON DA LOOSE script, what career I'm gonna take, and especially my grades. Track was so easy today. All we did was sit, run for 4-5 minutes, stretch, and go home. Only people who want to go to Bremerton to compete tomorrow stayed. Fuck that. I'm stayin' home even though I got all my practices. Steve, Ugina, and me went to look at tennis girls. Dayum! I thought I served slow! These bitches serve like molasses! And, they hit so weak. Some were good, but most...WOW. At home, Ron called me and said I need to go to that Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow. Totally forgot about that. Guess I'll have to go. Vedran, steve, Rusbay, and I watched Scary Movie 2. That first part I was laughing mah ass off. "Shake your ass, show me what you're working with" in the whitest tone ever! "I thought I told you all niggers before, you all niggers can't fuck with me" Funniest thing was when that one guy says: "Ah, dis da reeeal shee-it!" HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAH! Holy crap. Almost feeling like normal. I can't wait till Spring Break, won't have to worry about ne thing (hopefully). I don't wanna work anymore. But I gotta read history and do math. Ne ways, peace.
3-24-05
I'm feeling really, really crappy. This feeling I have, I can't quite put my finger on; but I know it is a feeling of the past. I am sure I had this feeling before. Not anger or happiness, or depressed or stuff like that but just a feeling of...being somewhere at a specific period of time I guess. This morning, I felt the only thing driving me to keep living was the will to show people up and that their underestimation of me is wrong. I like being underestimated. Before, it was about having fun. Today, I don't even know how to have fun. Actually, it's been like this for a while. I really hope this feeling goes away, since it has lingered with me for 3 days now. It affects my mind and body. What is happening to me lately? My back aches horribly, then I get a high fever, 104. Together, these two things destroy my athletic ability. Previously when I went out to shoot hoops, I made 90% of those I shoot. Now, it hurts to put my hands up, let alone shoot. When I ignore pain and shoot the ball, it misses horribly. This destroys my confidence. Even in school playing with tards, I couldn't make those shots. All of them should have went in. Last week is one that I will not forget. Especially hoe-ballin. :) That was sad. Holy crap, those girls are slow and suck. Man, this sickness really kills my grades too. I'm getting Bs in AP history and math. Actually, in math I got a D on my test and failed my quiz. Dayum, this best stop quick.
Contact Information -
Phone:(206)376-9798
Email: thesixthtruth@gmail.com
Go Back Home (professional way)