Forwards Are a Menace

So I got this super dumb forward from Gloria about your apparent 14 most favourite girls. Riiiiight. Although it's not as dumb as that "10 Reasons Why Boys Like Girls and Vice Versa" forward, it still hits high on the Inter-IQ meter. It's honestly a menace to society! All these dumb forwards should be banned!
This has been around since the birth of Jesus. Authenticity guaranteed. Although computers weren't invented then, please, being the incredibly gullible idiot you are, pass this on and do not break the chain! Or in three days, you will not only lose your internet access but also you will suddenly find yourself cast onto some ulu island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Sure. My version of that stupendously stupid forward Gloria was dumb enough to forward.

My Fourteen Favorite Girls!! Firstly, I want all of you to know that I love u to death, so much so that I wonder why I haven't killed all of you yet and become Singapore's very first juvenile serial killer, or most likely the first in the world. It's hard for me to only pick 14 girls to send this to, so consider yourself lucky... or is it not so lucky? It must be unlucky coz I got stuck wit this stupid forward which I'm forced to send out in spam or (God forbid) I'll be struck down by lightning and the guy of my dreams will have to eat slugs. If i dont get this back i understand. I'll just come after you and shoot you point blank in the head and spill your guts all over the Chinese Swimming Club. I have a game for you. This game has been played since 1977. Ever since Coffee Bean was first opened. And ever since your mom was a teenager and back when personal computers weren't so fast. Wait, there weren't any personal computers back then. Once you read this letter, you must send it to 14 females, but if you can't find pure females, gays will do just fine, within five days. On the fifth day, HE (the male of your choice) will either ask you out, or say "I love you." And if he doesn't, you can also go and shoot him point blank in the head and spill his guts all over Chinese Swimming Club. Alternatively, you could just shoot yourself for actually believing this dumb forward. Please send this to 14 females. (But like I said if you can;t find that many, just send it to a gay or two.) It has worked for years. Well, ok, I'm exaggerating. This is a first time thing. Good luck! And may God save us all. NOW MAKE A WISH ON YOUR GUY! *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~Wish~~~ *.* ((¨¨`°v°´¨¨)) *.·*.·¸ *?* ((_.^._)) *?*-;-*`· ~~~OK NOW STOP! BEFORE YOU GO DELIRIOUS AND START DROOLING OVER JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!~~~ Now send this to 14 females/almost-females/was-females!

Lotsa love and angst,
~*StEpH*~