Subliminal messages for Satan The eagerly awaited new album from Satan, the Almighty Lord of the Underworld has been critisised by the public for it's apparent subliminal messages contained on it. We spoke to Joy Davidson, mother of three, about the affect it had on her teenage son Steven. "Well, he told me about this cool thing he had found on his album. I thought it was just the normal messages of death and murder that parents are used to but he shocked me when he played the record backwards. I could make out clearly the voice of Ozzy Osbourne telling him to do things like 'Take the f**king dog's out' and 'This f**king remote doesn't work'. I was frightened so I wrote to the record company at once to complain." This doesn't seem to be a lone hearing. Parents all over the country are being frightened by their children walking outside for over half an hour at a time with the pet dogs. We contacted the offices of Lord Beelzebub and his personal assistant, John Denver, had this to say. "Any association with Satan and Mr. Osbourne is purely used for publicity. The Devil does not in any way actually endorse any beliefs in Ozzyism and just wants to promote destruction and pain as he always has. Claims of subliminal messages on the record are insubstantial and must be coincidental." After listening to the album backwards for an hour, Jimmy Jambone insisted that he was married to a b*tch called Sharon and that everything was f**ked up to s**t. We'll bring you more as we get it.