Ridiculous.

A little bit about myself: My name is Ron Sweetnose and I live in Botswana. I enjoy sushi and long walks on the beach. I have a great life on a large farm near the river. I raise rabid penguins and sell them to Russia for a living. I have a beautiful wife Renchen and a gorgeous daughter Slenchen.
IN THE NEWS More dogseals have been spotted west of the Mississippi. Professional hunters have been sent to lower their population. One hunter said, "These dogseals are just nuts. Almost as bad as the catwhale incident of 1952." Hunters are currently taking a break from hunting because the dogseals are doing their run.