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Today's top story: Controversial new war plan!

In a controversial descision which has shocked many members of the senate, President George Bush has begun to collate information on the U.K's own hoard of weapons of mass destruction. A source close to the president said: "Britain is shit hot for this sort of thing. Heck, some of the planes they sent to Iraq even had weapons of mass destruction aboard! I mean, how blatantly rude!" It is believed Mr. Bush will offer "best friend" Tony Blair a chance to escape, though he thinks it may be more fun to have armed soldiers hunt him.

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The Main News Desk!