Profile

Ingleneuk

Ingleneuk
||| |||Ling-A-Long-A-Ing ||| Funnies ||| Ancestors ||| LINX ||| |||
My name is Phil, I'm a 34 year old Scot living in a wee white cottage out in the middle of nowhere in the hills of South Scotland. This is a pic of me in fancy dress and the other is with the mask off. For a living I dig big holes and fill them in again.

My ambition is to be a designer on a television make-over show, preferably Changing Rooms, for which I would change my name to Larry Llewellyn-Bowlegs and wear tight jeans and a lacy bonnet.

- o -

If you only look at one other page on this site, make sure you check out my Ancestors

Please don't complain to me about the music throughout this site. Remember that the illiterate need something to listen to while they are visiting these pages.

The site is growing larger all the time. Add it to your favourites to make sure that you don't miss out on all the new bits. Please don't bother e-mailing me with tips on navigational aids. I only set this up for a giggle so if you want it to be all neat and tidy I suggest you download the code and amend it to suit yourself..... or buy a compass.

I have no pets. If I ever go blind (which is quite likely considering my enthusiasm for DIY) I would probably have a guide-gerbil because I'm not too keen on dogs. I spend the vast majority of my spare time in one online chatroom. My boss has asked that I turn up to work on at least 3 days each week, but its a struggle trying to balance my online duties with those of wage-earning. I hope to invest in a mobile phone with proper internet access so that i can fit in some more holes each week.

23rd February Update :

Farewell AOL. Its been a blast on AOL chatrooms, but all good things come to pass. Thankfully not all good things come to an end through the twatty impertinence of a power-drunk, rectal irritation like UKHostPaws. The whole episode has provided me with pages and pages of wonderful little tales through dealing with left arms and disembodied right arms at AOL's various departments. The irony of the time I got embroiled with an AOL customer services representative discussing what constitutes humour on a website reads like a Two Ronnies sketch. I never got as far as explaining the concept of pathos because my adversary couldn't get past the word "bathos", whatever that is. These and many more gems will be posted on this site as and when I find the time to format them.
And so I leave you now with this thought :
- If all your "friends" are asking you why you are online in the first place, consider yourself unpopular and go elsewhere.

*************

From South Australian Poetry Website :

I fell in love with a caterpillar
"Have my babies spend your life with me cook me tea clean my house"
She shook her head became a butterfly tried to fly away
Now she's pinned to a board for the children to study at school.

Have a Nice Day Y'All