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PERSONALS
1.
Beer Bottles.
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Donna; 20, Minto, New Brunswick, Canada
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Single, young, dirty blonde looking for passionate male for casual sex and companionship. Let the good times r-r-r-roll! Enjoys night-fishing, worm breeding and chewing the heck out of beer bottles. If u think u r the guy for me Call 555-2210
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2.
I Have Many Homes ;0)
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Arnold, 65. California, USA
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Male, divorced, ex California Governor. Fathered many. Seeking well-built latino maid, 30-50 years of age. Atrophy is seting in with age but I still have some flexible muscles. Hasta la vista, baby! I will more than sign your autograph if you meet the criteria! Call 555-ARNY
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3.
GA-GA!
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Brandy, 23. Fistule Cove, Newfoundland, Canada.
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People often tell me I look like Lady Ga Ga. Well I am here to tell you I am Ga Ga over you! 200lbs to be exact! I don't dissapoint! I love squirrels, roasting chestnuts and cycling. Seeking a SWM or SWF. I'm into everything! Call me! 555-GAGA
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4.
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.
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Wade, 46, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada.
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SWM Seeking SWF or SBF for Loveless Sex. Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last. Let the snow fall begin! Call 555-9988
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5.
Cowardly Lion.
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Désirée; 60, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got? C-c-c-c-courage! Cosmetically-enhanced single Latina, 60, well-built, seeks a small Romanian man, 21-30 to initiate wild mating rituals with. Call 555 3487.
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6.
Warlock Who Loves Winning!
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Carlos; 46, Beverly Hills. California.
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Hey! You might know me! I AM A CELEB! HELLO? WOW! SHOCKER! As if I you didn't know that already!
Girls, give me a break! I am a broken man in need of a FIX! No wait! I don't need Fixing! WINNER! A winner always WINS! So If you have the GALL to Call, Charlie Boy will do the rest! If your not a Size '0' then Charlie says NO! BUMMER! Call 555-SHEEN
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7.
Beach Bum Babe.
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Trish, 25ish, Long Beach. California.
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Blonde, Tall & fit. Seeking male 18-30 for fun in the sun. Hi Boys! Thought I'd post a pic of me, looking stunning in my two-piece swimsuit. Are you disappointed that you can't see my face? No, I thought not! Call 555-3371.
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8.
Plenty O Fish.
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Cuthbert; 45, Miramichi, New Brunswick, Canada.
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Forty something SWM, seeking lady-like female fo long lazy days and nights camped out on rivers edge waiting for that tasty tease to bite! If U can imagine the euphoria I get when that fish takes a hold of my long rod. Imagine the euphoria I will unleash on U when I catch a hold of U! Call 555-3372
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9.
I'm Your Lay-Away.
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Latisha; 44, Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada
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Ex professional figure skater turned candle stick maker. Great booty! Seeks tall athletic single male to dance around the room with. Simple + beauty = simply beautiful. Are you man enough 2 B my lay-away? Call 555-1171
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10.
Farting Crackers.
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Gollum; 50, Croydon, Surrey, UK
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Anyone up fer a riot? Nope? Oh well. What to do next? As you can see from me picture I'm looking a little worse fer wear. However that small digital abomination aside are you up fer being me bride??? Call 555-9078.
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11.
Head Over Heels.
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Sandra; Salisbury, New Brunswick, Canada.
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Momma bear calling baby bear! I'm your Princess, you'll be my Prince and together we'll traipse thru life raising kittens and such. Please call! I can't hold on much longer! I need you to come and undo this f***ing cord NOW! Call 555-5442.
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12.
Lip Service.
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Tenagne; 19, Cork, Ireland
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In Ethiopia it is our custom to modify our lips. My lip has been modified for western culture. Appreciate me for who I am and I will be good wife for you. The bonus is I can serve you mini Pizza's from my mouth to yours! Call 555-2371
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13.
Turtle Bungee Anyone?
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Dez; 21, Bishop Stortford, Hertfordshire, UK.
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Aside from Bacon rinds and Bernard manning video's, having a woman massage Calamine lotion all over me on a daily basis would be quite satisfactory actually. Call 555-9770.
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14.
Sore Knee's.
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Brenda; 43, Chinnor, Oxfordshire, UK
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Recently retired on Doctor's orders after many years scrubbing floor on my knee's. Looking for a second chance in love. Seeking vertical male willing to spend lots of downtime standing up. Call 555-8778.
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15.
Phlegm Brulee.
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Clint; 27, Cape Race, Newfoundland, Canada
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Chain smoking, unemployed bachelor addicted to prescription painkillers. Looking for a female companion to share my addictions with. Call 555-3471 before midnight as I am usually watching the late night fantasy TV phone-in's.
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2011 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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