Monday, February 24th, 2003 5:54 PM EST

It's sure been awhile since I've last written in this, I find weird times to update things don't I? Like for instance: when I have a paper do in the morning.. ugh! Well here's the thing...

I'm listening to Ani DiFranco and I'm in a mellow, "I feel like shit" mood. I did something that's left me both ashamed and ultamitely relieved. how can you be relieved if you're ashamed? That's what I'm trying to figure out...

I've been silently hurting for a few years now and I'm tired of being a "push-over" just because I try not to hold grudges, I let things go, I swallow my pride and let things go... and then it just comes like a huge tsuinami(sp?) and it all floods back to me.

without mentioning names or details... I finally lashed out on this person I know. I don't know whether to call him a friend or what b/c I'm so confused. I don't know if I want to talk to him or not. Part of me does, but then part of me says "hell no" b/c he doesn't deserve it...? I'm sorry for the way I handled things, but then, with my back in a corner, how was I supposed to handle it? Anyway, more later... back to my paper b/c it's my brother's b-day today and I still have to write my oral report to go with it...
-Linz


Loosing Grip? ~Shalimar's Site
Diary Land ~My Online Diary