Max Powers: Oh Kermit, you bad motha fu...

Big Al Stud: Get a damn room, its time for my promo. Thank you all for joining Big Al Stud as I bring you the sequal to the VABA...the BOSTON TEA PARTY II!!!! Notice the tea? I mean look, its the boston tea party, oooh thats rich. Haha. That is great.

Patrick Webster: You know whats not great though Al?

Big Al Stud: Ah, good set up there Pat. OH I mean yeah I know whats not great. What is not great is a Johnny Jacobsen promo. It is short and boring. He loses my interest right away, and that is not an easy thing to do...oh look a bird.

Stud gets up and follows the bird for a while until he sees a rabiit. Stud then follows the rabit until he sees a squirrel. HE follows the squirrel untill he sees, that there are no more animals and he starts talking again.

Big Al Stud: Like I said, its really takes alot for me to lose my interest. I have the attention span of a brick. But even a Johnny Jacobsen RP could make a brick turn its head away in disgust. Of course I am speaking about Johnny's first promo, and his second, his third and not his fourth though. Wait, yes also his fourth, sorry I could not read the cue card. Where should I start. Hmm, I think I will go in reverse unchronological order. Haha that sounds like chronic! Anyway, that means I will start with his first Rp and away we go...

Big Al Stud: Johnny compared me to McDonalds. How cool would that be? I'll tell you how cool that would be, because it was done. It was not cool at all. Like most Johnny Jacobsen promos, it was vain attempts to be funny or make any sort of joke. It might be enough to get into the head of a younger less experienced wrestler whom is not me, but it also got in my head. Yes I am sorry to say that not only did Johnny's boring analogies of BAS and McDonalds get in my head, but it is embarassing for me to say. The only thing that can boost my spirits up a little bit is to let it be known that it only got into my head because it gave me a fucking migraine! He talked about all of my many, many, many, many, many, many accolaides, but he left some out. I ended the longest IC TItle reign and the longest win streak till Rage came back. I ended the third longest US Title reign and what would have certainly been the longest because I am the only one in the entire world good enough to beat the World Champion, oh except Webster...he will also beat him. But since Johnny tried in vain to flatter me, I will do the same for him. Johnny Jacobsen held the hardcore title once. He held it for about 7 days, not respectable yet. I carried Johnny Jacobsen to two tag team title reigns and a stables reign. Lets see...well I'm drawing a blank you really haven't done all that much Johnny. You lost to Mr. Kreeper a couple times. The matches were a little bit close. Oh yeah, you beat James Max. Well that really about sums it up. Johnny Jacobsen said that I rode his coat tails to the tag titles. The pure thought of that is funny. Its funny because he sucks. You can all laugh. That is why its funny. A guy of my stature could not have ridden on the coat tails of a guy who sucks. Ah its useless! Johnny said that a lot, not only did he say that alot, but he wasnt even smart enough to think of more than one way to say it, so he never really got origional at all. Johnny said he was going to take on some better competition than me. I dont really see Johnny Jacobsen beating a guy like Patrick Webster, or Shanghai Kid. Those are the only two guys better than me right now just because they are in the main event. Johnny you are a little peon who is very confused. You cannot even realize that you can't beat Mr. Kreeper. Mr. Kreeper always beats the shit out of you in hardcore title matches. The hardcore title sucks! There is no way that you are just going to make a giant leap up to the Canadian and Intercontinental Title ranks when you can't even beat the FORMER hardcore title champion, and not really that great of one anyway! Aside from that Regulator is NOT better than Big Al Stud, nor will he ever be better than Big Al Stud! He talked about how long Mike Lindsay's title reign as if he actually has any idea what he is talking about. Of course he does not because he was not in ICW back then, hell he couldn't even spell ICW back when I held the Canadian Title. Speaking of when I held the Canadian Title, that was a good year ago Johnny. If you knew your history not only would you have understood the Boston Tea Party, but also you would know that I beat the Charter last year at this time. Last Cutting Edge I was forced to face another jobber, the likes of what I have to face now. You might not know this also, but I beat the shit out of Charter into a good twelve month retirement. Now he is comming back for most likely one night only, but thats not important right now. Your boring promos are what I'm talking about presently. Johnny talked about me talking the talk since July 16th 2000, just showing how clever he really is. Its as clever an origional as gay bashing. I have explained about talking the talk, so I don't feel the need to explain what it means again. Johnny Jacobsen said that I have a huge ego. Granted, next point. But wait, who the hell is he to say that I have a huge ego? He is the one who thinks that he can beat me, the great Big Al Stud. He thinks that he can beat anyone in ICW, even though he hasnt stepped from that egotistical cloud he is floating around on to step down to earth and realize that he sucks. Johnny Jacobsen is completely aweful and there is no way that he should even be in the same ring with Big Al Stud. Big Al Stud puts people in their seets, but not when I have to face no bodys like this. Escape From Reason was arguably the best Pay Per View ever, because of me! I am Mr. Pay Per View, and we will see what I mean Sunday when I show why I am the master of the ladder...

Big Al Stud: Now to the second promo of Johnny 'The Star!!!!!!!!!!' Jacobsen!!!!!!!!!! Promo two can be summed up as...it sucked! I bet you really didn't see that comming, but I have to be blunt about these kind of things. Well the first half of Johnny's boring promo was about playing cards and very non-clever jokes about changing underwear that not even my 12 year old brother would laugh at. Johnny Jacobsen was rambling on about me deceiving him, who cares? Then he said something about leaving IT to join Vengeance because he loves Deacon's penis or something. See OWF guys and Johnny Jacobsen...thats how you make a gay joke. It has to be witty, not your a fag! You suck his dick! You have but sex! Take notes, it has to be clever, witty, funny, timely, and a good inside joke. He talked about doing all the work for the titles, even though it was me that did the work making good quality promos and then working hard in the ring. He said he pulled the strings in back to get the second title shots. Now, who here really thinks that Johnny Jacobsen has any strings to pull. Like he is in good with Ki...like he is in good with Mr. S. See, no one thinks that, of course no one is around except for the rabbit. Where did that rabiit go anyway. Oh yeah, back to the promo...Johnny said he overlooks opponents. Who cares? I over look my opponents all the damn time. I over look em all, thousand of times daily. I over looked Webster about one hundred and thirty seven times when I tossed him from the scaffold. When you have talent you can over look your opponents, you can still win and win convincingly like I always do, and plan to do again. Johnny talked about how hardcore he is, and how this is a hardcore match. This is not a hardcore match by definition. It just has no rules. With a great in ring dictator like myself I will do just what I said, dictate the kind of match we have. I will make sure this match stays in the ring and I beat you down with my technical wrestling abilities. I cant out wrestle anyone in ICW and as long as this match doesn't turn hardcore...Im in like flint. What the fuck is a hubris!?!?!?! Anyway...for some reason Johnny has still not stepped down to earth and realized how not good he is. He thinks that he can hold every title that ICW has to offer all at the same time. There is no way in hell that you are capable of dong that Johnny. For one you wont get the shots cause you are a litte twerp, another reason is because you are not good enough to beat the people who you face. Apparently dumb people who Johnny Jacobsen talks to think that I am washed up. Those people both me not, so I am not going to even talk about that any more than I am right now. I am going to stop starting...NOW!

Big Al Stud: In RP three Johnny Jacobsen bored everyone, and he also made himself out to look like a moron. He talked about Big Al Stud, me, contemplating about retirement. I am only twenty four tender years old. Retirement usually occurs around the age of sixty five. According to my quick mental match, which I doubt you can figure out, that gives me fourty one years more of employment, even if I can't wrestle that whole time. I clever play with words by Johnny Jacobsen then happened. "BAS may think he is bad, but Sunday I am going to beat him bad." It went something like that. JJ that is pretty clever. Did you think of that all by yourself? It was very clever and origional! He talked about the rookies complaining about equalt opportuniteis. This isn't womans suffrage Rocky, its called paying your dues. I had to wait about 355 days untill I finally got a World Title Shot and by the looks of it I am going to have to wait over 700 for my second title shot, but that doesn't bother a guy like me. I don't care about that shit cause I have already done it all. I know what its like, but you dont...and that makes you dangerous. I'll admit it, you are certainly hungrier than I, but that doesnt mean you are going to win. Determination can only lead you so far before it turns to desperation. Skill is really waht it comes down to, and I haven't been training so hard for so long for some snot nosed punk certain jerker gerkin jerkin flash in the pan joke beat me. Guys like you just dont win. THis isn't a movie. A nice guy like you wont beat a bad ass like me, it just doesn't work like that in real life. Johnny complained that I have gotten more title shots than he has, and there is a very logical explanation. I HAVE BEEN HERE OVER TWENTY MONTHS NOW, AND YOU HAVE BEEN HERE JUST OVER TWO MONTHS. IT IS VERY LOGICAL DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS THAT I WOULD GET MORE SHOTS THAN YOU!!! That and there is always you suck and I am very good at what I do. Then, just like that, the short (very short if u catch my drift ;-)) promo by Johnny Jacobsen was over.

Big Al Stud: So we get to the fourth Johnny Jacobsen promo, and just like the Star Wars movies...they keep getting more boring and poorly written, assuming Johnny writes the shit down before he says it. All of a sudden Johnny tries to act like he is all harsh and shit, flipping tables and stuff. Johnny you almost portayed harsh pretty well, but not like Judd Nelson in breakfast club. Judd Nelson was harsh! Take some lessons. Another harsh thing is going to be the beating that I give you Sunday. I will poke you in the eye, stomp on your foot, kick you in the eye, and cover you with soot! Then I will grab my titles, itll be like the night before christmas, because of the soot of course. Johnny talks about crappy gay jokes again, so again I say those suck and who cares? Acutally after looking at this match more closely I realize that the ladder part, get it, ladder haha! The ending of the promo is about stables, which is going to be touched on at a later point...or has it already been touched on? You tell me!

Big Al Stud: So now we have finished up with the crappy promos of Johnny Jacobsen an we can get to the humerous and educational works of Big Al Stud. Johnny lets take a look back and see what you did to me, because messing with me is not something you wanna do, I assume that you have not learned this yet in your stay at ICW. You see, I still tried helping us win the titles, but you wanted to attack me during our match. I was fine for us to win the titles and defend them fittingly even if we weren't in the same stables. You apparently did not want to have one of that, instead you thought for some reason that you could beat me for thje titles. That is your big mistake because now you are going to lose that title that you really did no work to earn, it was aaaaaallll me! Then we had some matches, or at least it just started with you being the special guest referree. I would have no problem with that if you would have called the match right down the middle, but you didnt. You assentially handed old Chairsman the win, which he needs a win once a month I assume. Then we had a big tag team match with me and "insert every nickname I can think of in 7 seconds" Jade Shocker and Big Al Stud vs Johnny 'The Scar' Jacobsen and Chairsman who gets one win a month. He already used his one win, so Jade and I dominated. But back to you being a scar, that is all that you are. You are just a scar on the record of Big Al Stud. People are going to see that I teamed with the pathetic Johnny Jacobsen and then I will get no respect. That really puts a scar on my resume. Because of you Big Al Stud is worth more money in ICW...but I am worth less money elsewhere. Johnny 'The Scar on BAS's record' Jacobsen really dug his own grave for this ladder match and I am going to through him from twenty five feet in the air down to that six feet under grave just like the tea was tossed in the origional Boston Tea Party!

Big Al Stud: Johnny you said it over and over again that I am supposedly a coat tail rider. You think that just because you made hte pin that means that you are the one who won the tag team titles for us. I am the one who did the hard work. I did quality promos, I came to the ring and kicked ass, then let you cover the opponents. It was a mental thing. It got into people's heads and made them feel worthless when a jobber like you pinned them. It was like when the Million Dollar man stuffed money in people's mouths. You were my fake hundred dollar bill, just there to do hardly any work and then make people feel like 250 pound bags of garbage. I did all of the work in the team Johnny, even if you might have made a pinfall or two. I carried us over TWO and the defended against them. I beat Pyro and Chairsman single handedly. I beat Control Factor at Shattered Innocense. I did it all, carrying you on my back. I carried you to three of your four title reigns in ICW, and now I am going to carry you again. No I am not carrying you to retain the titles or anything like that, I am carrying you to an actually decent match. I am going to carry you through the best match of your life at the biggest Pay Per View you have ever wrestled at, cause what you did at Shattered Innocense was hardly wrestling, it was more like begging for your life. I am not going to say "hey I am going to kick your ass" or anything like that, but more I will let my actions in the ring do most of the talking for me. I am not affraid to take a huge bump if it means that I get to keep my tag team straps, because I am the one who earned them, and I am the one who wants them more. Lets get to another little thing, you always talk about how the student is going to beat the teacher, and that is another thing you really have confused. First of all I am really not the teacher, more like your Canadian workhorse. I am the Human Highlight Real like Dominique Wilkins but a wrestler. I didn't teach you even a quarter of what I know, and you still learned alot. You know noting about the ladder match compared to what I know, just ask Chris Jericho. I really don't even think you have any idea what I am capable of doing to you. You have seen how violent I am, but never been apart of the violence. You took a few belt shots to the head, but that is only a fraction of what I am going to do to you in the ring. You have only gotten a small taste of what I can do. You have seen what I can do, but never felt it because you were always on my team. Tonight you are not going to be on my team, but you will still be hurting regardless of teams. I get to beat you down and take my tag titles, and then beat you again and take my stables titles. It is really going to be a good night for Big Al Stud, and I am sorry to say that it won't be for you. Being turned on by me puts you with elite, even though it is something that can't be forcasted. IN the immortal words of Green Day, "its something unpredictable but in the end its right, I hope you had the time of your life." That really fits this fittingly. You never saw me turning on your comming but in the end it is all going to turn out fine for me. I am going to get the titles for myself and the stables titles for myself. But I sincerely do hope that you did have the time of your life. Not everyone gets to be a two time tag team champion with Big Al Stud. In fact you and soon Patrick Webster will be the only people ever. I really do hope that you had the time of your life...

Big Al Stud: Apparently Johnny found it fitting to bore the people to death for a fifth time with his amazing fifth promo. This crappy promo started off with some voice, maybe the one on commercials who talks really fast, just came on and repeated everything that Johnny Jacobsen has already said. He just rambled on reiterating everything Johnny said trying to confuse people into thinking that it was actually new material. Then Johnny started talking about how everyone is counting him out of the match. For once in his life Johnny finally hit the nail right on the head. Max Powers is thinking he cant win, so is Reaper, and Webster, King Crasher, his brother Ronnie Jacobsen, and even his own mother...bless her sole...doesnt think that he even stands a chance in the ring with a man of my stature and intellegance. Every reason that he listen on why people think that I am going to beat him was extremelly accurate, im smarter, stronger, faster, and I am a cheater. I have no idea if he named those, but htose are my top four reasons why he doesn't even have a prayer to contend in this match. Johnny started talking about how he is so great and he as this title reign Stud earned him, and these two reigns Stud got him, and a match he won all by himself. Johnny do you even know what you are talking about? Do you know who you are comparring youself to? I am Big Al Stud. I am in the hall of fame. My World Title, 7 US Titles, Canadian Title, IC Title reigns outweigh your puny, pathetic, 5 day hardcore title reign. My 4 tag titles reigns are significantly better than your two title reigns you got just from being associated with Big Al Stud. My three, and soon to be four title reigns are better than you one, especially considering that I am part of the greatest stable and tag team ever...not to mention I am arguably the greatest ICW superstar ever! But you, you are just a schmuk! You are nothing compared to me, why cant you just realize that and challenge Craig Adams for his title!? If that is all you have done in two months then you are damn skippy that isnt so impressive for two months. You think it is great, and I know you were being sarcastic, but I'm not. After two months I was already just the second three time United States Champion ever! Something you havent done nor are you even close to doing it. JJ said that he would be a World CHamp if the front office isnt bias. Actually you would already be world champ if you didnt suck, but you suck, so you are just in the hardcore title division, but I dont see you as the number one contendor even! After some more stupid analogies Johnny made a semi logical statement again. He said that I have beaten him already, which is very true. I kicked his ass earlier, even though he was running away out of the ring, scared of the Canadian Devastator! That was the last logical statement in his nonsensical ramblings.

A turtle randomly walks by Big Al Stud and he starts following the slow turtle walking all slow behind it as the camera fades.