__
                    __ _ / _|_ __ ___
           _____   / _` | |_| '_ ` _ \   _____
          |_____| | (_| |  _| | | | | | |_____|
                   \__,_|_| |_| |_| |_|
                   Another Foggy Moment

 These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
 of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
 Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
 cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
 another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

    ------------------------------------------------
    WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
    If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
    punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
    the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
    Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
    89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.
    -------------------------------------------------

                          - 148 -

 Memorial Day 2002 Seattle: This year remember the hundreds 
 of thousands of Americans who died while building this great 
 nation. We eat the food they grew, work in the buildings they 
 made, drive on the roads they laid, dodge the trucks/buses/cabs
 they drive, talk on the phone lines they strung. And, while 
 our soldiers, sailors and pilots ran for cover leaving us 
 unprotected and undefended on 9/11, they are the ones who 
 died in the attacks, not our 'warriors'. 

 I don't know what our brave old citizen soldiers and sailors 
 fought and died for in the many wars before 9/11. But when 
 over 2,000 American citizens can be locked away anonymously 
 without the most basic of human rights, there is no freedom, 
 liberty or democracy in America. Such a state of affairs is 
 an insult to the memory of the brave men and women we are 
 supposed to be memorializing today.

                             *

 Mr. Trummel's humble webpages remain up:
	contracabal.net [Washington State version]
        contracabal.org [International version]
 So I assume that he remains locked up in the KingCo Hoosegow
 on orders from former Family Court babysitter and present
 King Country Inferior Court judge Jimmy "The Token Twinkie" 
 Doerty, until he 'sanitizes' the org site. Since he has no 
 web access inside KingCo lock-up, it is impossible for him 
 to do so even in the unlikely event he might be so inclined. 
 KingCo Inferior Court judges ain't too bright. But they all 
 give good Political Head. Just ask the Little Stinker, our
 Guv. 

 Imagine! In America an old man who hasn't stolden anything
 from anyone, hasn't hurt anyone, certainly didn't kill 
 anyone, can be given a defacto life sentence just for
 speaking his mind and no one has the balls to object. So
 much for the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave bullshit.
 Hooterville's News Nazis have made Paul magically disappear.
 Not a peep out of them. Dropped right off their radar.

 Joe Harkins of the National Writers Union and United Auto
 Workers has now established an informational webpage 
 dedicated to freeing Paul. It's at:

            http://freepaultrummel.com

                            *

 The Great Adventure has begun. They pulled the big board
 at the U Dub salmon rearing pond this week and set the
 little buggers free. As an incentive, they hiked up much
 of the netting to allow the herons, ducks and ravens inside.
 The birds were a little wary about crawling under that net
 for the first day or so but the sight of all those minnows
 jumping around finally got to them and in they went. Chow
 Time! The ravens are the only consicencious objectors.
 
 Most of the babies will end up food for Orcas and other
 denizens of the Abyss. But the lucky survivors will spend
 the next 4 or 5 years prowling the depths of the Pacific
 Ocean in places no human has ever seen or ever will see.
 Then they will return, as if by magic, to that very same
 pond on Portage Bay to lay their eggs and die. 

 Bon voyage kiddies! Y'all come back, ya hear.

                            * 

 It was 31 years ago this coming Thursday that the last 
 passenger train left Union Station in Seattle. The lovely
 old dear sat largely empty and abandoned until recently 
 when she was completely refurbished to much of her original 
 glory (sans the trains). She really looks pretty again. 
 Sound Transit's adminstrative offices occupy the entire 
 building.

 Immediately below the cavernous, huge waiting room is 
 another equally huge but undecorated area. Two floors 
 high, its simple, crude, windowless concrete walls are 
 interupted only by a mezzanine that runs around three 
 sides of it. That's where they used to keep the baggage 
 and immigrants. It was known as the 'immigrant waiting 
 room' since it was forbidden for the many Chinese, 
 Japanese and Philipinos who entered America at the port 
 of Seattle to wait for their trains in the Great Hall. 
 The passengers waiting upstairs in the main hall could 
 amuse themselves by coming downstairs onto the mezzanine 
 to gawk at the poor unfortunates below and chuckle at 
 their sing-songy chatter. Union Station is the only 
 train station in America I know of that integrated 
 bigotry into its design. A quaintly Hootervillian 
 touch.

 Ref: The Daily Bleed
 http://www.eskimo.com/~recall/bleed/calmast.htm

                            *

 Jimmy's back! YeeHa! 

 Jimmy is a delightfully demented saint of a guy who used 
 to live down the block from me. He's got glasses like Coke 
 bottles and a big grin that would even charm the socks off 
 a humorless jerk like Governor Stinky. It was a frequent 
 and reassuring sight to see him shuffling swiftly and with 
 reckless abandon down the sidewalk on a Sugar Run to the 
 7-11 for a Slurpee back in the Good Old Days. Not only is 
 he legally blind, I think he's diabetic - not supposed to 
 be drinking Slurpees. Whenever I ran into him he always 
 stop, gaze questioningly around and say the same thing, 
 "God Bless you! It's nice to see you again." He once 
 claimed that Jesus used to drop in on him whenever He was 
 in the neighborhood. I can believe it. If there's anybody 
 in this neighborhood that Jesus would drop in on, Jimmy's 
 the guy. 

 Last time I saw him, about a year ago, he looked not long 
 for this world. After a disasterous year in which he lost 
 his long time basement room a couple blocks over, got badly 
 injured when a bunch of Junkies mugged him for the few 
 bucks he had in his pocket and had his lifetime collection
 of hundreds of LP records stolen out of his room, he was 
 in bad shape. No smile. No greeting. No nut'n. He looked 
 very thin and terminally Bummed Out. I figured he was a 
 Goner. He dropped out of sight after that.

 But lo and behold, I'm walking down The Ave after work last
 week and who goes whizzing by - Jimmy of course. The smile
 was back along with that reckless shuffle of his. And he
 looked rather plump. Hell - he looked great. But he was by
 me before I had a chance to say hello.

 A few moments later as I'm grazing the aisles at a well known
 local drugstore, he surprises me by popping up suddenly and
 saying hello. For a guy who's legally blind, he's sure got
 his familiar profiles down. He "God Bless"ed me and I "God 
 Bless"ed him and we had a nice chat. He's glad to be back in 
 his favorite neighborhood and seems to have found some people 
 who take good care of him.
 
 Whatta guy!
 
                            *

 Today (Monday) is the 108th birthday of Dr. Louis Ferdinand
 Detouches aka Louis Celine. Author of the black-humor classics
 "Long Day's Journey Into Night" and "Death On The Installment
 Plan", he is often distinguished by his trademark use of slang
 and all those little '. . .'s he used instead of periods. He
 was a man of many contradictions. 

 On the one hand, Louis was a genuine doctor who spent most of 
 his medical career serving the poor of Paris with little or no 
 renumeration. He was also a distinguished/injured veteran of 
 WW-I and travelled the world both as a young man working the 
 commercial end of the French colonial circuit and later as a 
 bureacrat with the U.N.'s predecessor. 

 On the other hand, he cranked out a number of virulently anti-
 Jewish pamphlets in the run up to WW-II and ended up spending 
 much of the war in Germany on the run from French authorities.
 Essentially apolitical, he had little affection for Hitler or
 the Nazis, so they didn't particularily like him either. But
 he was well-known in certain literary-minded circles and did
 enjoy a degree of protection from individuals within the 
 Wehrmacht who liked him. After the war, he escaped the death 
 penalty in France when the Danes threw him in prison for a 
 few years. The irony was not lost on him and was good for at
 least a couple more novels.

 Surprisingly, there is little or no evidence of his anti-Jewish
 feelings in his novels. They are uniformly bizarre, black-humor
 tragi-comedies that focus on the futility/insanity of life. I
 think he was less a bigot than just a hapless schmuck who got 
 caught up in the general pre-war hysteria. He's hilarious and 
 one of my all-time favorites. A very funny guy in an oblique 
 sort of way.

 BTW - Louis comes off better in English translation than he
       does in the original French. French slang is short-lived
       compared to ours. Instead of sounding hip, his 20's and 
       30's French slang sounds arcane and archaic. It works in
       English though. Go figger.
   
...................................................................
 
 "The whites, by right of conquest, by justice of civilization,
  are masters of the American continent, and the best safety of
  frontier settlements will be secured by the total annihilation
  of the few remaining indians."

                       - L. Frank Baum -
            (the guy who wrote "The Wizard of Oz")

...................................................................

                        MARINER JOKES

 Q: Why do women like the Seattle Mariners?
 A: They stay on top for ages and always come in second.

 The seven dwarves are underground working in their mine when there
 is a sudden, terrible cave-in. Snow White, who was tending her 
 flower garden topsides near the mine entrance, immediately runs
 to the opening and yells to find out if any of them are still
 alive. Deep down in the mine a voice comes back, "The Mariners 
 are good enough to win a World Series." Somewhat relieved, Snow 
 White says, "Thank Heaven! At least Dopey's alive!"

 Lou Pinella was wheeling his shopping cart down the aisles at
 his local supermarket when he noticed an old lady struggling
 with her bags. He stopped and asked her, "Can you manage 'mam?"
 To which the old lady replied, "Bakayaro! Of course I can. But 
 we're not too sure about you."

 Someone recently broke into the Mariners trophy room at Butt-Ugly
 Field. The police are looking for a man with an old Gameboy, a 
 box of "Junior" bars, one of Randy Johnson's old jockstraps and 
 a blue carpet.

 A man, desperately depressed after the Mariners once again lost
 to the Yankees last year in the playoffs, decided to hang himself.
 As a fitting touch, he decided to dress up with all his Mariner
 paraphenalia - hat, team jacket, uniform shirt, etc. A neighbor 
 spots him and, figuring out what he intended to do, calls the Cops. 
 On breaking into the house, the Cops discover they're too late.
 He's a goner. Then, inexplicably, they immediately stripped all 
 the Mariner stuff off the body, leaving it in nothing but socks 
 and a tattered Madonna t-shirt, before allowing their photographer
 to take his pictures. The neighbor, somewhat confused by their 
 actions, asks them what in the hell they think they're doing. 
 "Just trying to save the family any embarassment,", the officer 
 replied.

 Apparently if you get a season-ticket to the Mariners they throw
 in a free astronaut space-suit so you can cope with the lack of
 atmosphere.

 Three old baseball fans are in church on Sunday praying for 
 their favorite teams.
 "Lord! When will the Indians win a World Series?, pleads the
 first old Geezer. 
 "In the next 5 years,", answered God.
 "Geez! I'll be dead by then," morns the old man.
 "Lord! When will the Red Sox win a World Series?, pleads the
 second Old Coot.
 "In the next 50 years", answered God.
 "Oh no! I'll be dead by then," replied the Old Goat.
 "Lord! When will the Mariners win a World Series?", asked the
 last Geezer.
 "I'll be dead by then.", answered God.

 Q: How many Mariner fans can you get in a Cop car?
 A: Three. One in the front. One in the back. And one on top
    going, "WeeeeeYewWeeeeeeeYewWeeeeeee..."

 And of course the ultimate Mariner joke, is the Mariners
 themselves.

...................................................................

                    KARAIMITE JEWS

 Normally when you think of Jews, rabbis automatically come
 to mind. But rabbinical Judaism is a fairly recent innovation.
 In Christ's time, it along with the Talmud, didn't exist.
 There was no Oral Tradition with any authority. While there
 were many sages and scholars, the sole authority on all
 religious matters was the written Law - the Torah - with
 disputes mediated by the Temple priesthood in Jerusalem. So 
 all the talk of Christ being a rabbi is a little misleading. 
 Perhaps it was true in the most general sense of His being 
 a 'teacher', but not in the modern sense as the title didn't 
 have the kind of clout that it does today.

 There are still about 30,000 Jews who subscribe to that form
 of Judaism - the Karaite Jews. They neither have nor want to
 have any rabbis. Nor do they recognize the legitamacy of the
 vast body of Oral Traditions embodied in the Talmud and the
 such. The Torah, as interpreted by each individual Karaim, 
 remains their only recognized religious authority. There 
 being no Jerusalem Temple and therefore no priests, they roll
 their own. They are sort of fundamentalist Jewish anarchists. 
 Very few Jews are even aware that they exist. And the rabbis
 would like to keep it that way.

 What makes these Jews especially peculiar is the fact that 
 they were mostly exempted by Hitler from the Holocost. He 
 didn't consider them Jews. The reason is, Russian monarch 
 Catherine the Great had issued a decree declaring the Karaites
 "non-Jews" way back when in Russia. The Rabbinic Jews say the 
 Karaites sought the decree but it seems just as likely that 
 the rabbis, feeling somewhat threatened by the Karaims, put
 pressure on Catherine to have them legallly banished from the
 fold. Nonetheless, the Karaites always settled in close proximity 
 to the Rabbinic Jews and maintained at least a close cultural 
 connection to them. They never lived as or with the Gentiles. 
 Oddly, the rabbis now sling them as heretics even though they 
 are more authentic than the Rabbinic Jews are.

 Modern day Israel, being a secular Zionist Homeland and not 
 deeply concerned with religious eccentricities, couldn't care 
 less. The Karaites were welcomed and offered citizenship. And 
 that's where the majority of Karaim now live. The smaller 
 Lithuanian contingent seems to see itself more as an ethnic/
 cultural entity than a religious entity and isn't particularily 
 interested in Israel. Essentially it's the identity given them 
 for the better part of 3/4 of a century by the Soviet authorities 
 in Russia. There is also a sizeable contingent of Karaim in 
 America. Mostly in California - as far from the Sacred Rabbinical 
 Homeland - Miami - as they could get eh.

 Ref: http://karaite-corner.org
      http://www.karaism.com
.................................................................

		FOGGY POLITICAL ASSESSMENT TEST

 Forget that irrelevant nonsense about "Democrats" and "Republicans".
 They're indistinguisable nowadays anyways. Forget that issue-based
 nonsense from the League of Women Voters. The only "issues" our
 pols are interested in are the kind that corporate donors make to
 their campaign treasuries. And forget our News Nazis' "Corporate 
 Suck-Up" ratings. Politicians are the lowest form of life known 
 to science, so lets keep our assessments appropriately simple. I
 propose the following...
                                     
 PARAMETER:                         MEANING:
 =========                          =======
 Eye Response:
 1. No eye opening.                 Living on another planet. 
 2. Eye opening to pain.            Responds to gunfire.
 3. Eye opening to verbal command.  Responds to "You're under arrest!"
 4. Eyes open spontaneously.        Extinct - possibly mythical.
       
 Verbal Response:
 1. No verbal response              Only speaks to 'inner voices'
 2. Incomprehensible sounds.        Doesn't speak English.
 3. Inappropriate words.            Former athlete.
 4. Confused                        Career politician.
 5. Orientated                      Already gainfully employed.

 Motor Response:
 1. No motor response.              Comatose/Drunk/Whacked/Trip'n
 2. Extension to pain.              Cardiac arrest in a crisis.
 3. Flexion to pain.                Knee-jerk response to a crisis.
 4. Withdrawal from pain.           Runs for the hills in a crisis.
 5. Localising pain.                Prefers to delegate his pain.
 6. Obeys Commands.                 Accidentally elected illegal
                                         immigrant.

 I'd give President Yellowbelly an E-1, V-4, M-4 for a total score
 of 9 - slightly above an independly mobile turnip. Where ex-Prez
 Bubba Jay would rate an E-3, V-3, M-5 for a total of 11. Just for
 reference: your average citizen would range from about 13 (career
 criminal) to 16 (ordinary tax-paying schmuck).

 Ref: Glasgow Coma Test
..................................................................

 "I went over to him [Roberto Powers] and told him, 'Mr. Roberto, 
  tell your George Bush that all of you are not welcome - please 
  get out."

                        - Majida Tabaa -
        kicking the U.S. Consul out of her restaurant
                   in Damascus, Syria 4/7/02
...................................................................

                      'OL YELLER'S TWAT
               (aka The War Against Terrorism)

 Things are going real well in Pakistan where Yeller's TWAT Boyz
 are beat'n the bushes (no pun intended) for stray Al Qaida and
 Talibanistas. With a little luck they just might have a front
 row seat to the millenia's first all out nuclear war. Otherwise,
 Operation Snipe, has lived up to its name - another Pentagoon
 Jerk-Off operation and general waste of everyone's time. Much 
 to nobody's surprise, the Limmies have turned out to be a bunch 
 of Shirt Lifters who steer as far clear of gunplay as they can 
 get. You won't catch them doing no night-fire exercises, a la 
 the Canuks, with our map-challenged flying retrards around.

 With the cat out of the bag at home and no end of Nattering Nabobs
 of Negativism chewing on his butt over his many missed queues in 
 the run up to 9/11, Yeller did what came naturally: he ran for 
 cover. Kicking up another diversionary cloud of Chicken Little 
 pretend threats that only an American News Nazi would be stupid 
 enough to even bother listening to, he left the dirty work for 
 his sidekick Dickhead Cheney and the Office of Homeland Terrorism. 
 General Powell, his faithful shoe-shine boy, ran interference the 
 week before on his trip to Europe. The Euros, somewhat distracted 
 by the Frenchies election, exploding synagogues and asassinated 
 pols, have been too preoccupied lately to Bad Mouth Uncle Sammy, 
 but The General chewed them out for doing so anyways. Better to 
 be safe than sorry. They were probably thinking Evil Thoughts 
 about us. As usual, he was roundly ignored. He's used to it.

 Ah Europe in the springtime. Greeted by thousands and thousands
 of flag-burning protesters wherever he went, chanting "Go Home 
 Asshole!", our Executive Freeloader felt like he was back in 
 America and kept his head down. He blubbered his usual BS about
 Evil Mooslims to the Krauts in the Bundestag and they politely
 listened while catching up on the latest fussball news in 
 "Kicker". Next day the Berlin newspaper Tageszeitung, under the 
 headline "Bush's Historic Speech", ran an otherwise blank front 
 page. He wasn't exactly impressive. No side vists to the Gestapo 
 graveyard to pay his respects though like Ronny Ray-Gun did 
 during his Presidential visit. He did drop by the mosque in 
 Hamburg that the 9/11 suicide attackers attended just to pay 
 his respects and let them know there were no hard feelings. 
 Everywhere he went he urged them to get behind his upcoming 
 Electoral Invasion of Iraq. They smiled, they laughed and then 
 they told him he was nuts. Hard to argue with that.
 
 Along the way, Yeller signed a completely meaningless but very
 friendly nuclear arms treaty with Mr. Pooty Poot, the head
 Rooskie. We all know what the plan is: first sign of trouble,
 everybody cuts loose with their nukes. Treaty or no treaty,
 that's our plan. Yeller knew better thant to try to tell Mr. 
 Pooty Poot to stop supplying the Iranians. He'd just get told 
 to go screw himself. This state of affairs made the Chinese 
 ambassador laugh and laugh. 
 
...................................................................

                        WISEGUY TYPE

     The smart little gent with the shoebutton eyes
	and the folded nose, twice-over, so;
	with the diffident smile, and the spectacles
	like a horned owl, so wise, so wise.

     Is a sharpshooter born in a cabaret to a rattle
	of drums and a spastic shudder;
	By a pinkish floozie with powdered thighs,
	and a monocled punk in a cutaway,
     And a tinhorn song, and a clicking jig,
               and a swift, pat fade
		             and a getaway . . .

     Is a wise, wise baby who won't take sides,
	playing the middle against the ends,
	shuffles the cards with a crack and a flutter,
	looks sharp in the dark for omens and friends,
     Concedes with a mutter, You may be right.
	It may be true but I can't decide,
	If the cards are stacked then what does it matter?
	If death is the answer, what's the use?
     I'm a lonesome wolf in a cold, hard winter, he says
     And the rest is up to Youse. 

                     - Herman Spector -
                           (1928)

 from: "Bastard in the Ragged Suit" (ISBN 0-912184-03-5)
 ..................................................................

                    -  MONDO VATICANO -

 June the 1st is the Loyalty Oath deadline for Catholic 
 Theologians. Cardinal "Ratso" Ratziner, Grand Inquisitor
 of the Vatican and unofficial Pope Ratso Ist while JP-2
 is out to lunch, came up with this medieval little nugget
 of stupidity. Bad-Faith oaths like this aren't worth the
 paper they're written on. They are, in fact, a clear
 violation of the First Commandment. That's okay with Ratso.
 He's mainly interested in intimidating and bullying people.
 A flop as a theologian himself, he's out to dummy-up the
 competition to make himself look good. But then most of 
 the significant Catholic thinkers have long ago escaped 
 to the faculties of Protestant and secular schools where 
 they're safe from the Vatican's Thought Police. Only the 
 mediocrities are left in Catholic schools.

			+	+

 Oh oh! A lady lawyer in New Hampshire has filed a lawsuit 
 against the Catholic Church on her own behalf, demanding
 that either the Church ordain women priests or forfit its
 tax-exempt status. She's claiming that refusal to do so on
 the Church's part constitutes sexual discrimination, and
 Uncle Sammy granting them a free ride on taxes constitutes
 a subsidy for such discrimination. Susan Rockwell is a
 Catholic and did try to become a priest. She was told it
 was against policy. She's basing her suit on the 1983 
 Supreme Court ruling that lifted Bob Jones University's 
 tax-exempt status for banning inter-racial dating. She 
 named the diocese of Manchester (NH) and the Archdiocese 
 of Boston in the suit. While the Vatican has the right to
 sexually discriminate in the choice of its priests, Uncle
 Sammy has the right to insist, under those circumstances,
 that they pay their own way instead of freeloading off
 the public purse. Go get 'em Susan!

			+	+

 The Passion & Crucifixion of Future-Super-Saint John Paul II.
 Take: Whatever. 

 Hobbling pathetically and sighing audibly, His Holiness slowly 
 shuffled his bloated carcass to the mic in the Vatican Ballroom 
 beneath the glittering Sacred Disco Ball, this week. He's taken 
 to cocking his head cutely to one side. Assuming his saddest 
 Bambi eyes and heaving a great sigh, he mumbled that he was once 
 again off to see if he could kill himself with an extended tour. 
 He obviously wants to be the first Pope to die on a Road Trip. 
 Sure suicide is a mortal and grievious sin, but when you're Pope 
 you can make your own rules. And the Curia Queens are more than 
 willing to oblige the old Pollock. He's becoming an embarassment.

 Forget those steenk'n kids his pervert priests have raped,
 mugged and sodomized; forget those steenk'n Israelis trashing
 and desecrating one of the most important shrines in the 
 Catholic world while thumbing their nose at Roma; forget all 
 the people this jerk has screwed over in the past 20 years; 
 forget the depraved and disgusting moral swamp the Church 
 has become under this moron; even forget those steenk'n Pakis 
 and Hindus ready to nuke each other. Everybody stop what 
 you're doing and watch the old egomaniac. The DeathCams were 
 rolling 24/7 hoping to catch the Magic Moment. Ain't he just 
 the sorriest old bastard you've ever seen? 

 Did he pick someplace like Australia where they actually want 
 to see him before he croaks? Hell no! Instead, he went to
 Azerbaijan where nobody's even sure if there are any Catholics.
 But it does have two things Australia doesn't have: (1) it's
 a former Soviet republic and (2) you can practically spit on
 Russia from there. Like any Pollock, he hates Rooskies with an
 unholy passion. No doubt he hobbled over to the border while
 he was there, hiked his cassock and 'mooned' the border guards
 just for kicks. 

			+	+

 Cardinal Michele Giordano of Napoli (Italy) is slipping. Nailed
 two years ago for his part in a loan-sharking business in which 
 he funneled over $500 KiloBucks in diocesean funds to his 'nephew'
 who in turn loaned it out to struggling businesses at whoppingly
 huge interest rates, he beat that rap. He's still fighting a tax
 evasion rap. But they sort of got him this week on renovating
 without a licence. Suspended sentence - 4 months, 15 days. What
 the heck - it's a start.

			+	+

 Two new contestants were added to the Pervert Priest Fandango
 this week: Louisville (KY) Bishop Williams and Milwaukee (WI)
 Archbishop Weakland. Bishop Williams is starring in a dozen
 new lawsuits relating to pervert priests in his diocese. That
 brings his episcopal grand total to 87 pervert suits. Can he 
 top Cardinal Bernie "The Pimp" Law in Boston? It's going to be 
 close. Archbishop Weakland's entry is a bit more personal. He 
 secretly dipped into the diocesean Honey Pot back in 1977 to 
 quietly pay off a personal accusor nearly $450 KiloBucks in 
 return for keeping his mouth shut about some alleged Hanky 
 Panky in the rectory. Weakland is now history. Outta here.

			+	+

 Two of the Big Boyz announced this week their intention to 
 sell off their mansions and other trappings of wealth so
 they can donate the proceeds to the poor. English Bishop
 Pat O'Donoghue and Chicago Cardinal George were the men
 involved.

 Bishop O'Donoghue of Lancaster is a man who is known for
 putting his money where his mouth is. He'll be good for 
 it. He led a delegation from his diocese to the big WTO 
 protest in Roma a while back and was front and center 
 when the bullets flew. He's one of the few around who has 
 any integrity. I don't doubt his honesty at all. 

 Cardinal George of Chicago, on the other hand, is as phony 
 a Spinmeister as they get. A velvet-glove bigot who has a 
 reputation for financing his screw-ups by shutting down 
 ghetto churches, this is the jerk who blesses suburban BMW 
 dealerships for spare change. I think he's lying and I hope 
 they put an auditor on his ass to make damn sure he can 
 account for every penny. It's just a coincidence I'm sure 
 that he's in legal hot water after 'pimping' for a pervert 
 priest. Unlike the others, he was the benficiary of a 
 predecessor who established a sound proceedure for avoiding
 such messes. What a stupid Klutz!

			+	+

 That jackass who is Bishop in Omaha, Nebraska got his this
 week. The reigning Gay-Bashing, Woman-Hating Hillbilly Cement 
 Head in the U.S. Conference of Bishops, Elden Curtiss is about 
 to be charged by the county Prosecutor in Omaha with witness-
 tampering. One of his kindergarden teachers fingered Fr. Bob
 Allgeier for possessing kiddie porn. Did Elden call her up to
 thank her? Hell no! After accusing her of destroying a man's 
 life with her tattle-tales, he then told her, "I'd appreciate 
 it if you would resign." Opps! Not only was it grossly immoral, 
 it was also highly illegal. No different from a Mafia Don 
 telling one of his flunkies he could either committ suicide or
 he'd have somebody do it for him. Did he actually think she 
 would just keep her mouth shut when confronted with a pervert
 priest who preyed on children?! We won't even get into how 
 Elden also transferred his pervert to another parish to get
 him out of harms way. Quite a coincidence how these clowns all
 had the same Modus when confronted with a pervert priest eh.
 It's like they were all working from the same manual. Elden
 may soon find his fat, pompous, hypocritical ass in jail.

			+	+ 

 Bishop Brunett of Seattle's contribution to the continuing
 Pervert Priest Scandal rocking the Church is Fr. Cornelius
 at Immaculate Conception in Everett. On administrative leave,
 Fr. John, who has 13 adopted kids of his own, is barred from
 contact with children. Not sure how they work that. And if
 that's not enough, he's required by Bishop Al to meet once 
 a month with a "parole officer". One hitch. Fr. John has
 never been convicted of anything. But then it's not a real 
 parole officer, it's a fake parole officer - some guy the 
 diocese hired. He has no connection with any court of law 
 and none of the powers of a real parole officer. It's just 
 a meaningless PR gimmick. Bishop Al likes PR gimmicks. You
 would never mistake him for an honest man. Ever.

 Formerly one of the priestly stars of the diocese; a man
 whose admirers were a Who's Who of Seattle's wealthiest, and
 a man who was garnering a great deal of national attention, 
 Fr. John's story is rather unusual. Born in Philadephia's
 black ghetto under such ambiguous circumstances that he 
 isn't really sure what his family name is or even when he
 was born, he came to the Great White West as a seminarian
 at the invitiation of an Idaho Bishop. Priests were hard
 to come by and black priests were a rarity. They needed him
 and he needed them to escape. Something for everybody.

 After a stop over in Oregon where he was ordained, he came 
 to Seattle. Despite his young age, he was given his own 
 church - a massive, wooden, aged, run-down, decrepit old 
 fossil left over from a time when its neighborhood was an 
 exclusive Seattle address. Nonetheless, through the sheer 
 force of his very considerable personality and presence, 
 he began filling pews that had long been empty. Then he 
 began adopting Crack Babies to rescue them from a fate he 
 knew only too well himself. He seemed the very human 
 embodiment of Goodness and Grace. Oprah begged him to come 
 on her show. The Seattle Police Deparment chose him as a 
 chaplain. His admirerers showered him with money, cars, 
 and gifts. He was given a lovely home in one of Seattle's 
 most exclusive neighborhoods for $1/year rent. He was on 
 a roll.

 Then it all fell apart. The first of what has become 12 
 men came forward publically with claims that he had molested, 
 assaulted and forcefully buggered them. They described a
 man who more closely resembled a relentless and dedicated
 sexual predator than a saint. They told of him weaseling his 
 way into the good graces of parents, and once he had their 
 trust, he quietly helped himself to their kids in the 
 basement. "Hey kids! How about a wrestling match?", was 
 his favorite line. They told of a man who hung around schools 
 using the cars, money and other gifts his admirerers had given 
 him, to solicit sexual favors from boys and young men. Upon 
 investigation, the diocese considered the complaints credible 
 enough to suspend Fr. John and forbid him contact with kids. 
 Oh yeah - and the phony parole officer schtick too.
 
 Fr. John denies it all and has hired a lawyer. So far the
 only part of the story that hasn't been told yet is his
 part. Many people feel he owes us an explanation. So far,
 apart from the denial, he's been silent.

			+	+

 That billboard alongside I-5 in Oregon that says, "The 
 POPE is the ANTICHRIST. Free Proof." is still up. The 
 guy's contract ended on May 8th and rabid Catholic media 
 Chihuahua Wild Bill Donahue of the Catholic League assured 
 everyone that he had managed to bully and intimidate the 
 billboard owner into taking it down on that day. Since 
 Bill hasn't been in intimate contact with reality for at
 least a few decades now, it came as no surprise when the 
 message stayed up. The guy is now renting it on a month 
 by month basis. Wild Bill says this is war. Careful Billy.
 Sounds dangerously close to a physical threat.

			+	+ 

 Call him Vissarian aka Sergei Torop aka Jesus Christ. "No
 doubt about it mate, he's the Son of God.", says one of
 the Siberian Messiah's new Aussie converts from Brisbane.
 Ex-factory worker, ex-Red Army Sergent, ex-Siberian traffic
 Cop and now Son of God - quite the career stream. He's got
 4,000 of his Flock toiling under primative conditions and
 screwing like monkeys deep in a nearly inacessible part of 
 Siberia in preparation for the comet that's going to slap 
 us silly next year. You haven't heard about the comet? 
 Whatever. While the sheep work, the shepherd is flying
 around the world trying to scrounge up reinforcements and
 more donations, when he isn't indulging in his favorite 
 passtime of oil painting on the porch of his Siberian 
 dacha. Some guys always land on their feet - like cats eh.
 
----------------------------------------------------
 The above is copyright material. You want to use it,
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 I'll let you know if it's enough. You want to steal it,
 I'll sic my lawyer Yoshi 'The Proctologist' Rasmussen
 on you baby. He'll teriyaki your sorry butt and turn
 it into Lutefisk.
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