My name is Natasha and I have a 2 year old son named Matthew. I was 15 years old when I was pregnant. I was lucky that I had the support and acceptance of my parents. But even with their help, it was very hard.
When Matthew was born I had very little time left for my friends. Even though I didn’t really get along with the father of my baby and he hurt me many times I stayed with him. We fought a lot and I did break up with him many times, but I always went back. It was hard for me to stay away from him because Matthew was our child.
I tried so hard for us to work out our problems. I wanted the best for our son. But our different beliefs always caused us to fight, and this definitely wasn’t the best for Matthew.
My first mistake was going out with someone who didn’t have the same morals as me. I wanted to save myself for marriage, but eventually I gave in.
So I was falling. I though it was too late now. I lost the one thing that had meant so much to me. I started numbing my feelings and forgetting about my morals. I was digging myself even deeper. I didn’t even know myself anymore. Then I became pregnant and that’s what changed me.
I went to the pregnancy center where I learned it was never too late to start over. And that’s what I did. After 2 ½ years I finally ended the relationship for good. So far all I’ve talked about is my relationship with the baby’s father. That’s enough stress as it is.
I also have to deal with raising a human being, going to school, and a social life. Well, when Matthew was born I took a year off school. I now had to deal with watching everyone I grew up with graduating and moving on when I’m stuck in school for another year. It’s also hard for me to find the time to do my homework. I wait till 9pm when he’s in bed. And I’m so tired by then. I don’t get to nap after school; I take care of him. I feed, change, bathe and take ½ hour to an hour of my time to put him to sleep.
When I look at other people my age, I see so much freedom. They have the freedom to sleep, to work on homework, to go out and have fun or just relax. I have very little, if any at all, time to relax.
And even though I’m so tired at the end of the day, I often try and stay up just so that I can have some time to myself to do what I want. I always suffer the next day though. But if I didn’t stay up, I wouldn’t have any time at all to myself.
I get to go out every Friday night and sometimes other nights as well. I sometimes hang around with people and bring Matthew along. But that’s hard. I still have to feed him, change him, and make sure he has his naps. If he gets fussy, I have to get him home.
So why did I keep my baby? I love him with all my heart. He changed my life. He is worth every bit of my time. I now had to live my life for someone else as well as myself. It turned my life around.
I do love having a baby and I want another one some day. But it would be so much easier if it had been further along in my life. It would be easier for my baby to have a mom and dad raising him in their own home. It would be easier on him and on me.
But it’s too late now. I have to live everyday watching others having so much freedom. The hardest thing is seeing Matthew’s dad having his freedom. Although we both made the mistake, I am the only who has to live with it. I am the one who will be taking care of this person till he’s old enough to go off on his own
So now you know about my life. Now you know what it’s like to have a 2 year old when you’re only 18. No, you don’t. You have no idea what it’s like. I’ve given very little details. If I went deeper I would tell you about hospital trips, missing school when I’m sick and when he’s sick, the way some people look at you. And you only know basically what it’s like for me. Every story is different. Some are worse, some are better. But not one person I know who has a baby says it’s easy.
So how can we protect ourselves if nothing is 100%? Abstinence is 100%. That was my mistake. I should have put more value on something so special. And I know it’s hard to say ‘no’, I know it’s hard to wait. But having a baby is harder. Matthew was not a mistake. He was my blessing from God. It was when I lost my virginity that my life started falling apart. That was my only mistake and that’s what hurt me the most.
I am here today to give you the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. I would love to be in your seat today. I do these speeches to help prevent others from having to go through what I live everyday. Please don’t let yourselves get in the position where you have to choose between abortion, adoption, or parenting. Because no matter what decision you make, you will have to live with it the rest of your life. There is never a quick fix to a positive test. Every one of these choices are hard. Today you’ve had the opportunity to hear how hard it is for me. But adoption and abortion can be just as hard, if not harder. Sometimes abortion may seem to be an easy solution, but I know people who’ve made that decision and years later have suffered from it. Although I don’t know of anyone who’s given a child up for adoption, and it is a loving choice, I imagine that it would also be hard. Personally, I’ve learned two things from my experience. It’s never too late to start over, and God can make good things can come out of bad. And I hope by speaking to you I might have helped in some way.
