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In the years 1976, 1776 and 0076; the number 76 was used. In the year 3079, 79 will be used. That, along with the ability to move objects with ones mind, should make it an increasingly interesting year. In 1976, Forrest-Michael Easter was born. Due to the many petitions received, I will skip the formative years… Oh, hell, I'll give a rough sketch of them.

Forrest didn't speak until the age of 4 but much like the rest of you, learned to walk eventually, developing basic motor skills at an incredibly normal rate. His favorite play toys included coloring books and a set of gray plastic handcuffs, which he affectionately called, "Mr. Handcuffs". One day he had lost the silver painted plastic key to "Mr. Handcuffs" and walked home swearing silently. His mom had to cut them off, using a wrench and a pair of metal, wire cutters. All the while alternating between, "Damn these things", and "I must have lost my mind when buying these things." Mrs. Easter liked to say "these things" a lot. In such sentences as, "Clean these things up", and, "If you don't get these things off of the stairs, somebody is bound to fall and break their back." To this day she still uses the words.

Easter's dad was a musician and was quite adamant when he had said to him at the age of eleven, "I don’t want you playing the guitar." Wanting his son to go to school and become a neurosurgeon. Two years later his worst fears were realized and Easter got a guitar from his father in a moment of weakness. Ten years later, Easter came to find out that he should probably have become a neurosurgeon. But the hours doctors keep, are just no fun, so at this point, there is no turning back.

Forrest-Michael Easter now lives in downtown Detroit with his dog Spencer, eleven children and lovely wife, "Mrs. Handcuffs".

*Disclaimer* - The above is a lie, a falsehood, a how you say in America? Ah yes, a joke, peace be on you. Later.