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SARDAR'S BMW
Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very
happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and
opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to
sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our
sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something
inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car
without the engine."
Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW.
You can take that."
PS : BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier.
TO LOOSE WEIGHT...
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
SPARE BOMB
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up
with the Indian Govt and
decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2
bombs, put them in a suitcase
in the front seat of their car and set off. Hari
Singh asks "What happens if
the bombs blast off now". Gani Singh says "Don't
worry. I have a spare bomb in
the back seat"
COUNT THE CHICKEN
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a
country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
"OK, Five?"
ANOTHER COUNT!
Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down
on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me,
but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling
'86, 86, 86'?"
The man says,
"Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can
let you go under there and find out.
He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and
he says, "Okay."
The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the
man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it
yelling "87, 87, 87"...
EMPLOYMENT?
Our sardarji was filling up an application form
for a job. He promptly
filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column
Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to
be filled there. After much
thought he wrote : Yes
AT INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and
capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was
crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence
secrets. The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the
sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of
the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net)
He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off
quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu
maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies
"Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi?
In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (No
Assumptions Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding
the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but
out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo
away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the
hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal
thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya" Gani
Singh replies "aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"!
HEIGHTS OF REVENGE
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we
had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same
every i time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a
sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear
but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the
mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to
take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja
machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep
sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get
into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom
seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is
over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad
condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was
alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the
sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was
actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and
requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I
want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady
then complained to the air hostess.
The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But
sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and
told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally
the Captain came.
He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji
immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he
told to the sardarji.
Capt. replied: "nothing.I just told him that only the middle seats will
go to
Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."
SARDAR THIEF
Banta Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings.
By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open.
A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found
it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him!
"When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a
hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on
him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the
matter.
"What did you do to the thief"?
"I tied his hands; you come and collect him".
"I hope you tied his legs too".
Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about
the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said,
"Inspector Sab, the thief, he will still be there".
"How do you know"?
"Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".
KHALISTAN JOKES
Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa.
Khalistan National Bird: Tandoori Chicken.
International Airline: Kitthe Pacific.
National Airline: Itthe Pacific.
National Anthem: Sten-a gun-a man-a ..........
National Taxi Service: Kar Seva.
National song: Bande marte hum.
Female terrorist: Hard Kaur.
National dish: AKALI-DAAL.
Sikh scuba diver: JULL-UNDER SINGH.
Better adapted sikh diver: JULLUNDER SINGH GILL.
PROFESSOR SARDAR
Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a
subject on which no one did any research before!
As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from
of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach.
He picked the roach and put it in the centre of the table and said:
"Run". The roach ran.
He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the
table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the
table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run
even when it had just one leg.
He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the
table and said: "Run". The roach could not!
Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his
thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear
anymore".
COLOR TV
Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
CROCODILE BOOTS
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search
is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a
huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily
exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
LONG FLIGHT
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
" Just a sec," comes an answer
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!
TRAIN TO LUDHIANA
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
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