25 Fun Things To Do At McDonald’s
1. Sit in a corner and pretend like you’re making out with yourself. (This works even better when 2 people are doing it separately.)
2. Pay entirely in pennies.
3. Tell them you require three copies of the receipt for filing reasons.
4. Order a shake, and tell them you want bacon with it. If they say no, complain loudly for others to hear, and scream out, "I guess you really don't wana see me smile do you, because right now I don't exactly feel like smiling in light of the extenuating circumstances!"
5. Ask to see the manager, then complain to him about all of life’s problems. If they don’t let you talk to the manager, walk out muttering, “You're gonna be reading about this in the papers.”
6. While you’re in line, jump up and down like you’re having a spazz attack and scream repeatedly, “YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”
7. Sell White Castle food in the restrooms. Then when people get food poisoning you can blame it on McDonald’s.
8. Walk in wearing a Burger King hat. (Great when 3 or 4 people do this at the same time.)
9. Bring in a fart machine and keep setting it off, meanwhile making comments like, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten here.”
10. Return your food and tell them you’re allergic to nuclear waste mixed with gasoline byproducts.
11. Bring in a video camera and tell them they’re live on 20/20. (You should see the looks on their faces!)
12. Stand on a table with a megaphone and whenever somebody complains say, “This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way.”
13. Flood the soda fountain machine. (It’s more interesting than flooding toilets.)
14. Walk to the drive-thru window and order. (If you really wanna tick ‘em off, skateboard.)
15. Take about 30 or so straws and blow all the wrappers at people. If anyone gives you a look, act a bit too innocent.
16. Speak gibberish, and act confused when they try to tell you that they don’t know how to speak gibberish too.
17. Chuck something at one of the employees. (I bet you five bucks they chuck it back.)
18. Chuck Skittles, M&Ms, or other small candy back into the cooking area.
19. Take two bites out of your burger, then tell the employee it’s cold and ask for a new one. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.”
20. Act like a schizo while you’re ordering. (“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” “No, chicken nuggets!” “Cheeseburger!”) Slap yourself to make it look convincing.
21. Climb on top the Play Place. When they tell you to come down, fall off and pretend your hurt, then threaten to sue.
22. When it’s your turn to order, start a conversation with the employee. Ask them how was their day, etc. When someone gets ticked and calls for the manager, scram, or start a conversation with him too.
23. Try to stuff your coins sideways into the charity box. Then when they don’t fit, start complaining loudly about how McDonald’s is so greedy and how they’re ripping off their charities. (Act really outraged about it.)
24. Try to bribe an employee for cheaper food. If they give in, call the manager. (Keep any food they gave you, though.)
25. Walk in and go sit down in a seat, then grab the little table advertisement thingy, (you know what I'm talking about, the triangular thingy by the salt and pepper, yeah that.) Well look at it turning it over and over and then say defiantly, "I know what I'm going to order, I'm ready!" After about five minutes, scream out, "Waiter!" Then after about five more minutes get up, and stomp out of the restaurant with the advertisement thingy. Then turn arround, come back in, and throw the advertisement thingy at the cashier and yell, "Your service sucks! You just lost yourself a customer, you hear that! A customer! Your not gonna see me smile!"
32 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "group hug!" then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers, "This is my personal space!"
27. Hide a squirt gun in your hand and pretend to sneeze next to someone.
28. Throw a fake spider on the ground and squeal with fear.
29. Hum the Jeopardy theme song between floors.
30. Stare at someone for a long time, than say, "who are you? What do I REALLY know about you?"
31) Bring a violin or guitar case on and make a big show of trying to hide it from everyone and say "It's only a violin/guitar, honest!"
32) Twitch for about 5 minutes, then when the doors open on your floor run out screaming, "They're after meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Top 10 Reasons To Become A Dictator
10. You get to restrict others freedom of speech. (Cool, huh? And if they don’t stop dissing you, you can torture ‘em.)
9. You don’t have to fight over power with corrupt people. You’re one of a kind!
8. You can declare war on whoever, whenever you want! (You don’t need anybody’s permission or anything, and none of that Senate junk either.)
7. You get free Internet access! (Matter of fact, if you want, you can have all the Internet access!)
6. You get automatic reelection. (That way you don’t have to waste billions of dollars lying to make people vote for you.)
5. You get access to all the super-cool, super-secret military technology. (I’ll bet there really is an Area 51.)
4. Nobody can make you go to school!
3. You get the key to the "Lockbox!"
2. You get to press the red button!
1. ‘Cause I said so!
25 Fun Things To Do At A Movie Theater
1. Hum the theme song of the movie out loud.
2. Make finger puppets in front of the projector.
3.When gunshots ring out in the movie yell, "Bang! Bang!"
4. Stick a piece of popcorn to the end of your straw and shoot it 6 rows ahead of you. (Works even better with un-popped kernels and Juji fruits.)
5. Use a whoopee cushion. ('Nuff said.)6. Wear a top hat, a big one.
7. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
8. Go, "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" And then giggle like a bunch of little girls loudly during the kissing scenes.
9. Clap and cheer when the good guy gets killed.
10. Make a noise like your passing gas and say, "Ahh…"
11. Start wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juji Fruits for your asthma.
12. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast forward it?"
13. When the bad guy is about to do something devious, yell at the top of your lungs, "Watch out!"
14. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
15. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girl's bathroom is flooding.
16. If you've seen the movie before, at the climax, yell out what happens next.
17. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink. ;)
18. wear a cape and when it's your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Ha! Ha!" and run away.
19. Yell, "FIRE!!!" and moon the people coming through the exit.
20. Gently, very softly, place a single kernel of popcorn on the head of the man in front of you.
21. Say that this person can't sit next to you because your invisible friend is sitting there.
22. Scream out, "Hey, this isn't Bambi!"
23. Stare at the person sitting across the aisle from you, then quickly look back at the screen when they look at you. Then, when they turn away, stare again.
24. See if you can get a Juji fruit to stick on the screen.
25. Find an old man or someone, casually walk over by him, then stare him down, for about a minute. Then sigh loudly, sit behind him, then put a fart machine under his seat. Complain about how uncomfortable that seat was, and how you couldn't see over his head, and then walk back to your old seat. Press the button, over, and over, and over. Laugh and point at him whenever you press the button, have someone start a stopwatch when you get back to your seat, and see how long he stays in the theater. (You can also put the fart machine under an empty chair a few rows back from someone, and then sit on the other side of the theater. See their reaction as they look back and see an empty seat.)
30 Fun Things To Do In Public Places
1. Go up to random people and ask "How are you doing?" See what kind of conversation you can start.
(I met lots of new people this way)
2. Ask someone what another person's name is nearby. Go up to that person and say "Hey, *person's name*. How are you? You forgot my name, didn't you!?"
(People normally look at me very confused with this one.)
3. Fall down in front of strangers, and see if they try to help.
(If they don't help, I yell out, "FINE! DON'T HELP ME THEN!")
4. Bump into someone and pretend it causes you to fall down. See if they apologize.
(This is hard to do, because they normally try to avoid me when I try to bump them.)
5. Walk behind someone until he/she turns around. Then say, "What?"
(You should look very confused, so it makes them be confused also.)
6. Run around and jump on things and make noises pretending to be a monkey.
(It works with any animal.)
7. Put water in your mouth, and pretend you are barfing when someone walks by.
(It's really funny when you chew up some Snickers for this.)
8. Get an "Obsession, for men" cologne sample spray, and go up to people asking, "Do you have an obsession for men? I was just wondering because I have an obsession for me. It's in my pants. Do you want me to spray you with it?" When they look at you funny, take out the cologne and say "What? It's just my obsession for men cologne. What were you thinking of?"
(It doesn't work on the people that have the cologne.)
9. Walk behind someone and have an argument with yourself.
(It's even better if you talk in two different voices.)
10. Have a bottle of water and go up to people saying, "Thirsty?"
(See how many people you can get to drink from your bottle.)
11. Have a newspaper or a book (or something like that) and hold it out to someone and ask, "Thirsty?"
(Confusion is funny.)
12. Put a chunk of something sticky on your hand, and go up to people saying, "Eh, how're you doing?" and try to shake their hand.
(Some people actually don't notice huge sticky brown things sticking to your hand.)
13. Jump kick a wall and look at someone and say, "Please don't do that."
(It works with trees too.)
14. Go up to someone and say in a very low voice, "Death by catapult."
(There is also, death by spatula, death by rug burn, death by malapropism, or any other weird random way of death.)
15. Get people to join you in your strange adventures.
(Twice the people= twice the fun)
16. Follow somebody around for hours and then ask them to stop following you.
17. Go to a public drinking fountain and offer to hold down the button. Then press it down halfway and when the person leans forward press it down all the way to soak their face.
18. Viciously attack a stop sign with a newspaper.
19. Steal manhole covers and run around with them.
20. Throw water balloons at people in office buildings from the street.
21. Run at top speed by some people yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO."
22. Put a box with an alarm clock in it down and run away.
23. Set up a tent and do scout things, such as trying to start fires with rocks.
24. Fall down and when somebody tries to help you up scream, "get away from me!".
25. Walk around with a baseball bat and ask people," you talkin' to me?"
26. Carry around bags of sugar and walk up to people and say, "Hi my name is Bob and I'm running for governor." Give them the bag and run away saying, "vote for me!"
27. Roll a tennis ball and run after it crying.
28. Fall down; clutch your knees and roll.
29. Tell people that the blue light is back.
30. Walk up to a stranger and ask them if the Force is with them.
35 Fun Things To Do While Driving
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio while head banging.
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
24. If an fire truck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
27. Stop and collect road kill.
28. Stop and pray for road kill.
29. Stop and cook road kill. (If in Tennessee.)
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on winding email abuse.
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow...down... to... a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
34. Sing without having the radio on.
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off…
50 Fun Things To Do At Wall-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day
4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm…I thought the customer was always right!"
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Bat Cave."
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
*BONUS*
1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without getting kicked out.
2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
*** Be careful about the people you do these things to and be smart and reasonable about what you do. Have fun! Oh, and 3 or 4 people should do this wacky stuff together. If you really wanna confuse people, dress in black capes or something of that sort.
