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Kayleigh, the goddess of Wainscoting and Random Things, greets you in the name of all that is good and right and pinky-russett. Good morning, and welcome to the heart of the venus flytrap. My name is Bill, and I'll be your tour guide today. Here we will explore the strange and excitingly odd, interspersed with the truly boring to add a bit of spice. To your right, please note the nothingness that exists there. It is fun to explore, and doesn't take very long. Pefect for growing families with children who lack any sort of attention span. To your left, please stop and adore the expanse of choices available to the discerning consumer. Something for everyone...and...you, sir! You in the baseball cap.Yes, you. I wish you to note the complete lack of anything for you. Go home. Sorry, folks...as I was saying. There is something for everyone but him here in the realm of Kayleigh. So, kick off your shoes. Take off your socks. Tickle your neighbor. Make yourself at home, for everyone has a secret home in the land of random. Trust me. If you are interested in refreshment, may I point you to the potato bar. Potato salad, french fries, potato pancakes, sweet potato pie, vodka, and...that woman's hat. Highly refreshing, I'm sure you'll agree. Oh, come now, Madam...it's not even an attractive hat. A word of warning. Before you depart our humble land, please check in at the temple and have a word with the goddess. Any word you choose...she's not terribly picky. But she will curse you with a boring commute if you don't say anything. She can be a bit of a bitch that way. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. |
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