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thoughts to ponder

>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there ... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its butt."

>Why do toasters always have a setting so high that it could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

>If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

>Can a hearse carrying the deceased drive in the car pool lane?

>If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?

>Why does your Obstetrician/Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if he is going to look there anyway?

>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

>What do you call male ballerinas?

>If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner show had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

>Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

>Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on ... (and I know you are singing)

>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

>Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?